Code Of The Rats
"From Spuds To Studs"

27. Room of Cogitation

By Dave Dollar
Art by Chris Myers

This vaulted hall is over sixty feet high and its roof is supported by two rows of thick pillars. The doors leading to this vault stand open and are, in themselves, quite ressive - a massive pair of brass valves, over twelve feet tall and six inches thick. Embossed into the right-hand door is the word, "Cogitation."

Against the far wall is a huge, brass statue, about 40 feet tall, of a man in a loincloth sitting cross-legged on the floor. Above his head, he holds a titanic brass bowl. His face is covered with a beaming grin and clenched between his comically large teeth is a huge, brass rendering of a corncob pipe (kind of a Buddha from Deliverance). The walls, ceiling, floor, pillars, and statue are all covered with a thick coating of old soot.

GameMaster:

In the bowl above the statue's head are several thousand gallons of highly flammable oil -- more than enough to cover the entire floor to a depth of one inch. On your map of this room are a pair of dotted lines. These lines represent a pressure plate that triggers the room's dweomer.

When a character steps on the pressure plate, the brass portals will slam shut, sealing the party in (not again!). The wrists of the statue will then hinge forward, dumping a horrendous torrent of oil from the monster bowl, onto the floor of the chamber. It will take only a moment for the oil to spread across the chamber floor, completely covering it. Just as the oil finishes spreading, the pipe in the statue's mouth will begin to emit a thin plume of black smoke. A booming voice will then emanate from the statue, so loud that it shakes the very floor:

"HEY, HOW ABOUT A LIGHT!!!"

At this point, explain to the players that the brass pipe is slowly swiveling on its stem, turning its open end down to face the floor. As you now hold up your hand and, using your fingers, count to five, some of your more intelligent players should be thinking, "Hey, if I don't start pounding some serious ground, real quick, a flaming something-or-other is going to come falling out of that pipe and turn us into stir-fry!

In this regard they will be exactly right.

If by the time you've finished your count, someone has started running toward the statue, they will arrive in the nick of time to catch the burning torch that is being dumped into the room. If not, then it's adventurer flambe for the lot of them. The theme of this room is the opposite of Cogitation: Reaction.

The GameMaster may optionally wish to give the torch a fighting chance at actually hitting the floor. Roll several checks against the characters' physical scores to see if they slip and fall in the oil on their mad dash to the statue. Or perhaps they will bobble and drop the torch. The characters can then extinguish the torch using a (clean) robe.

Surgeon General's Warning: It is inadvisable for characters who have fallen in the oil to attempt the catch.

The exit to this area is through the hollow stem of the pipe. Inside the pipe stem, the tube turns into a steep slide that will shortly dump the characters out in the hallway west of this room.

As the characters slide down into the pipe stem, they may be able to sneak a peek up into the statue's head. Briefly, they will see a tiny control booth. Sitting on a stool is a hunchbacked goblin wearing a frock coat and a stovepipe hat. He is laughing maniacally and holds a lit torch in his grubby paws. If the characters ask Roshia about him, she will tell them that the goblin is one of the many reformed nasties that she has adopted. He is smart enough to tend the gardens, light torches and pull levers, but that's about it. His name is Budd (ACK! GAG! RETCH!).

Score Chart

+3 For anyone suggesting that the bowl is filled with oil (before it starts pouring out, that is).

+10 For character who successfully catches the torch.

+3 For any good "Budd light" jokes (GM's discretion).

-10 For dying in this room.

+5 For best role player.

More Code of the Rats Introductory Fantasy Adventure


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