Part One: The Characters Arrive in Port Krapper.

Port Krapper was founded decades ago when the hell-hulk Krapper ran aground during a violent typhoon. Though the crew tried their damnedest to get their floating fortress back out to sea, the task proved to be impossible. So they settled down and formed a community based on weapon production and mushroom farming.

A good deal of Hol's weaponry is produced at Port Krapper, and the place has become a bit of a Mecca to those trying to get their hands on some really big guns. It is here that Joey Lovecraft has shown up looking for suckers both tough enough and stupid enough to get him to the isle of R'lyee.

When they stumble into the settlement the characters will have several places to visit (see examples listed below). In each of these locations they will see a big poster reading:

"Dickens Boy looking for rough and ready adventurers for profitable quest to the isle of R'lyee. Food, board, ammo, and transport all included. Excellent pay, though no benefits. Non-smoking environment. No sales involved. Apply at Ye Bloated Maggot Inn."

HM Tip: If the players have any sense they will realize that these posters are an adventure hook. If they don't, have one of the posters blow down from a wall, fly through the air, and smack them in the face. If they still don't get it, have them suddenly dematerialize and reappear at the Bloated Maggot. Joey Lovecraft knows magick, right?

Part One and a Half: Places to Visit in Port Krapper.

Armageddon Market: This sprawling marketplace is enclosed in a large geometric dome so as to keep the stink of the nearby sea to a comfortable lung-scarring minimum. Unfortunately no air conditioning was ever put in and the dome is a kind of greenhouse. As a result everybody in the market is sweaty and irritable, and since all anybody does at the market is buy or sell real big guns, you don't have to be Einstein to figure out that there's as much shooting as shopping.

HM Note: Encourage the PCs to buy some serious weaponry here. Without it, they don't stand much of a chance against Great Kuthoolu (which they will have to fight later on in this adventure). Some of the spiffy weapons they can get at the market include:

Krapper .95 Special - A/D 8/3 - An insanely powerful handgun, with enough force to tear the arm off of just about anyone who fires it. Minimum Meat stat of 9 to use.

Tactical Nuclear Assault Cannon - Mondo A/D 18/1 - Turns a 50 foot area into radioactive slag. 1 in 6 chance of it exploding in its owner's hands every time it's used.

Grob Gun - A/D 5/1 - Instantly matures grobules or festering grobnoids loaded into it, and sends the resulting globlings hurtling at your target. Expensive to maintain, and extremely hazardous when it jams.

Kinetic Frisbee Launcher - A/D 6/1 - Turn your backyard summer toy into a lethal disk of death. Let's see 'em catch it when it's doing mach two!

Dlack and Becker Nailgun - A/D 10/2 - Perfect for both woodworking projects and home-defense.

Gravatonic "Squish" Rifle - A/D 15/2 - Increases the gravity in a 5 square foot area to that of Jupiter. Guess what the "squish" refers to.

Industrial Oven Cleaner - A/D 10/1 - Melts through flesh and blood as good as it does unwanted oven grease. Ideal for cleaning Jumpslug pens.

Mr. Mangler's "Wire Cyclone" - A/D 11/3 - Fires a ten foot long coil of white hot razor wire.

Yo-Yo Cannon - A/D 9/2 - Fires an armor-piercing bladed disk at the target which instantly returns to the rifle once it finishes mangling the target. Unlimited ammo, and with an unbelievably successful roll can do neat tricks like "walk the dog" and the infamous "bite the pants" (see HOL section on the Fleshtenders for details).

Author's Note: You may have noticed that I didn't mention how much any of the above weaponry costs. The reason for this is because the happy merchants at the Armageddon Market will want to take the PCs for every grobule they've got. I suggest that you either make the characters haggle, beg, and sleaze their way into good deals, or simply soak 'em for everything they've got.

Burger Thing: One of two restaurants in Port Krapper, Burger Thing sells a variety of foods made out of mushrooms, wastits, aluminum foil, and toenail clippings. Amazingly, the stuff served tastes vaguely like real food. Patrons of Burger Thing run the risk of being slaughtered in the weekly raids by McDoggie commandos. Those customers which help fight off the attackers are rewarded with a two Grobule-off coupon.

McDoggies: The other restaurant in Port Krapper. McDoggies has the edge over Burger Thing in that their burgers feature REAL MEAT! That's right! Not scrapple or wastit guts or fruitcake but honest to goodness fried flesh! Their burgers taste kind of like chicken.

Patrons of McDoggies run the risk of being slaughtered in the weekly counter-raids by Burger Thing commandos. Those customers which help fight off the attackers are rewarded with a coupon redeemable for free medical care at Medik Quik.

Medik Quik: One of the very few places on Hol to get actual competent medical care. Unfortunately, you can only receive such services if you have either: A) crate loads of grobules, or B) a coupon from McDoggies. Otherwise the friendly staff merely drug you up, stuff you in a grinder, turn you into burger patties, and ship you next door to McDoggies.

Naughty Pseudopods: Naughty Pseudopods is the only known bookstore on Hol. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your view of hard-core homo-necro-bestial copulation), all the books pertain to the less savory aspects of... well, you know.

Ye Goode, Olde Curiosity Shoppee: Entering this store, the common layman might think that the shelves were stacked high with exactly the same shattered fetid garbage that covers the entire surface of Hol. As it turns out, the common layman would be right, but not according to Mr. Willikers. Mr. Willikers is a consummate con man and is more than ready to bilk his customers out of every hard-won Grobule they have. Characters with a Greymatta stat of 3 or lower can expect to be thoroughly fleeced.

Special Note: Actually, there is one thing sold at the store that could be of use to the PCs: Wastit costumes. These amazingly realistic suits cost 20 grobules each.

Hol Lot of Trouble

Introduction
Part 1: Arrival
Part 2: Recruitment
Part 3: Set Sail
Part 4: R'ylee Island
Part 5: Dungeon
Part 6: Lair of Kuthoolu
Appendix

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