Steamship Troopers 1898

A Wargame

Introduction

by Malcolm Wright

The Bugawan of Bugastan has caused problems for the British Empire before. Last time he was allowed to keep his province on the fringe of British Puluchistan simply because it was considered better than having to visit his known hellhole. This time he has gone too far. The capture of the SS Minerva by a group of Arab Dhows could have been the work of no other than the evil minded Bugawan in his attempts to grow more wealthy and challenge the power of the Sultan Uhbuga. Especially when it was learnt that the passengers include 20 students from Miss Polkinghorne's School for Young Ladies and Innocent Waifs, who were on their way to conduct a scientific excursion to the Islands off the Bugwan's Province.

The prospects of the fate of these young ladies at the hands of the evil Bugwan is too much for HM Government to bear. Fearing letters to the "Times" they have dispatched a force of troops to the area in several steamboats capable of navigating the rivers of the Bugawan's territory of Bugastan. This action has been taken only after the Sultan Uhbuga refused to send his own troops to deal with the Bugawan.

The area is little known because it is so seldom visited. Most traders travelling there have never returned. Those who did were reduced to quivering wrecks of men, babbling incoherently about tortures so fiendish that they are reputed to have made the Marquis de Sade cry out in fright. "Buga", "oh Buga", is all the few tortured survivors can ever utter from quivering lips. Only Count Hideuz Hibachi the founder of the Japanese Kempi-Ti, secret police had ever survived long enough to speak coherently after his study trip there in 1895 and the best he could manage was the advice not to keep the last bullet for you. Keep two and make sure.

Wise men say the Deserts are so dry the Camels must carry water bags. Pestilent swamps teem with mosquito's so large they are mistaken for flocks of Pigeons by the unwary. Survived by only those who can escape to the Bugawan's Fort, where such fine insects are shot as a delicacy and a welcome alternative to the less tasty flies they usually fry.

Natives so revolting inhabit the towns and villages, that vermin avoid their armpits. It is a country where the rats of visiting ships desert voluntarily to enjoy a holiday in dwellings so foul, they are spoken of as the promised land in the sewers of Paris. A land that is ancient yet so untouched by Civilization that the Hotel Bagwan has never heard of Gin and Tonic. But the honor of Her Majesty Queen Victoria is at stake. The young ladies of Miss Polkinghorne's school must be rescued. The power and might of the RAJ must be taken into the very stronghold of the Bugawan and the Bugawani's with such strength that even this Godless place will never again offend the Empire.

There are no maps…no man who can read and write has ever retained mind sane enough to put pen to paper. But the wise men say of the Bagwan's territory that it may be described thus.

Place you hand before you, turned uppermost with the fingers splayed.

    Your wrist is the convolence of the mighty rivers of Bugastan where the unwise enter from the ocean.
    The left thumb is the river Murk-Islyme upon who's left banks sits the Bugwan's capital Buga-Ahl-abad.
    The next finger is the river Dus-Ti-Muk, which winds off into the deserts of inner Bugastan before reaching its home in the forbidding mountains of Uthabuggastan. At is junction with the Murk-Islyme sits the ugly round, volcanic hill known as The Black Ball, past which is one of the only approaches to the Bagwan's Fortress.
    The Middle finger points toward the Bagwan's mighty Fortress which sits on the towering Sultan's Head, the highest point of a long rise known as the Sultan's column. Below it on the low ground at the foot of the column is the village of Nitz-ah Buga.
    The third index finger points to the river Uhga-Muk-Ih that is controlled by a low Sand Island, then another larger island half of which is swamp. The other half occupied by a village that it is said Allah himself founded so that the evil doer could see a display of what Hell is really like. It has no name, for none has ever dared to place a measure on the work of Allah. The river flows directly below the Sultan's Head, then winds inland, its left bank covered by the village of Drypenabad.
    The little finger points to the river Moh-Bahd-Nuhs, on the Right Bank of which sits the old ruins of Hiddiusgulahus, an old Roman penal settlement that fell into disuse 2000 years ago when it was realized the prisoners sent there from Gaul were gentle folk compared to the locals.

To take this fiendish place a team of crack troops has been assembled. The finest river steamers in all the lands of the RAJ have been gathered. Steamship Troopers from all over the Empire have gathered for the assault on this ghastly place for the honor of the Queen and to save the honor of the Polkinhorne school for Young Ladies and Innocent Waifs.

Swarms of enemy can be expected. Medals can be won, fortunes made. Do you dare head a battalion of STEAMSHIP TROOPERS? Would you miss it?

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