Wargaming Your Way Across Europe

Part V: England

by Charley Elsden

"Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag, And smile boys, smile.
While you've a lucifer to light your fag Smile boys, that's the style!
What's the use of worrying? It never was worth while.
So, pack up your troubles in your old kit bag And smile, smile, smile."

    --Britsh soldier's tune, WWI

In our few days in London before the end of the trip, we stayed in Kensington. Most of the boys went tank driving. They drove the giant Chieftan tank, Abbot SP, an APC, and a Quad Bike. This unusual activity was provided by some British vehicle enthusiasts who set up their business on weekends, renting space on outlying farms. The "trainer" sat outside on the turret and gave instructions on a throat mike, while the driver searched in the muddy darkness for little things like ... the brake! There had never been a disaster, although a young Chinese man once crashed it into a tree! My cousin Jim enjoyed the wild rides in the rain and mud, first on one vehicle and then another.. Feeling under the weather, I relaxed back at the hotel, forced to make do with British TV. Dave and John substituted a visit to The Imperial War Museum., This center of British war scholarship continues to expand even from a few years a go.

In the odd hours in the next two days, we ate in local pubs with names like The Black Widow, The Irish Pub, and The Cumberland Arms (where I tried a Belgian 'White Beer' called Hoegaarden) So many beers, so little time! And yes, you can now get a decent hamburger Over There, although we mostly tried more exotic things. For a New Yorker, London is a normal city ... from an alternate alien dimension. For one thing, the subways are too quiet, and people talk funny! But its a fun place to be. Its easy to get around here, even if its your first trip. Doc, who had found the Continent less wheel chair accessible than the US, even found taxis here 3equipped to take his chair. He and Doug would remain behind to travel the United Kingdom after the end of the tour.

The main reason we had come was to attend the British SALUTE 03 Convention, the largest annual hobby bash in the U.K. Held on three floors of the Olympia Convention Center for one day, the convention featured dealers around the outside of these huge spaces, with games played inside of them. Reenactors from Victorian Colonial days were there, as well as American Civil War groups who, in startling British accents, explained that many Britons fought in that war on either side. Although the British usually play exhibit games which are not open to the public, I was invited several times to join in. Subjects ranged considerably. At one table I heard a cap gun go off, and the GM said to the players, many of whom were wearing WWI hats or helmets "All right, Allies--your officer has fired his flare pistol, and you get an extra turn."

In another location, a large Enemy At The Gates movie poster advertised a WWII Stalingrad game. More trraditional subjects included The Charge of the Light Brigade. Large action figures were used in a vampire hunt. Role players did Stargate SG-1. Dr. Who Daleks warred with each other. And giant individual models of Star Trek fleet vessels maneuvered on large wire stands over a big floor grid. Dealers sold books, board games, terrain, equipment, and even Heroclix superheroes (I finally got The Human Torch!) and Mechwarrior forces (picked up three of those hard to find mercenary Giggins APCs). Rich thought that compared to our HMGS conventions, this one featured more dealers but fewer games.

Put on each year by the South London Warlords (www.salute.co.uk), this year's Con symbol was a Richard The Lion Heart figure appearing as sculpted by one of England's best (Mark Copplestone) as the con giveaway, on the official button, mug, and staff TShirt (not to mention the customized D6 giveaway). Their theme or Grand Exhibit was the Colonial Period 1837-1914, with a number of special exhibits by local museums, military societies, and reenactment groups. The official program lists about 150 "traders" (dealers) and about 100 games, sponsored by many clubs. It all finishes up with a giant 500 pound (almost 1,000 dollars) raffle prize, won this year by a startled young boy, a member of a pack running about in yellow and black rugby shirts. Naturally, many of us stuck around for the drawing.

Everyone was friendly and knowledgeable. The Grab and Go (translation: Flea Market) was so crowded you couldn't get near the tables. Some of the food served there was a bit dodgy, so we went out to a local pub and returned courtesy of our arm stamps. All in all, Salute exhibited most of the best qualities of a hobby Convention. But Geez, its a lot to try to see and do in only one day, fellas!

The grand finale in England was a trip into the green and rural country to the Southwest in Dorsetshire. Southeast of Yeovil, where a WWII airfield sent up Spits against the Germans, we came to the British Tank Museum at Bovington Camp, probably the single greatest AFV collection in the world. Nearby is the site where T. E. Lawrence died, saving civilians by crashing his motorcycle rather than hit them. Here, in this peaceful land, one can well imagine how a Medieval person could live in one of the small valleys, cut off from the rest of the world for an entire lifetime. On arriving we saw just inside the entrance gate a tank driving range. Just before the entry door, two giant modern camoflaged behomoths stand guard. Crossing between them, and feeling very small, one enters the Sacred Precints. The collection of armor on display in the many large rooms staggers the visitor. Legendary one of a kind vehicles like "Little Willie," the first British prototype, are here. The regular exhibits are in period order. Let's take a look.

They start out with a large display of life size trenches, where you can imagine yourself trapped for months on end in the First World War. Then around the corner--here comes a British tank, crashing through the wire above us, and into a German trench. A panicked German infantry dummy holds his rifle pointing up uselessly at the fiendish contraption, near a German field gun. Next about a dozen of the British monsters are on exhibit, some of which are open to viewing or even an actual walk inside. Did you know that the British males fired canister rounds from their cannon as well as the usual shell? That a British Whippet was harder to drive than the heavies, because it used a different engine for each side's tread? A French Renault tank completes the space.

There is also a nice section of Interwar vehicles, including the Rolls Royce and other armored cars for peace keeping stations around the world. Giant experimental vehicles with multiple turrets and other combos are here, often the only ones left in existence. As in several of the European museums, an audio guide allows you to press a button at many stations and vehicles for a fuller explanation.

The Second World War shows the small vehicles of the 1940 campaign in France, and goes on to the larger steel monsters. Here is a Tiger I and II, and one of my favorites, the versatile German eight wheeled armored car. The German half track we rode in Belgium is filled here with dummies in Panzergrenedier kit. Here a Churchill croccodile, there a T-34. Here a Sherman Firefly, there an amphibious Buffalo, and even a small Japanese tank. Even Hobart's "Funnies" are present and accounted for. Posted signs give information on most vehicles, especially on their significance in general AFV design. Audio phones give several categories of information at some vehicles. You can choose your category of narrative for each by pressing different numbers-such as technical information, personal anecdotes, etc.

In the Modern Section, we see NATO and Warsaw Pact equipment, experimental models, and an exploded Centurion exhibit which shows how things work inside. And as in the Italian and French motor museums, outside we see a recovery section where more vehicles are being restored, photographed, or cannibalized for parts.

In the extensive gift shop, a leather book mark I've bought shows the four badges of the British Army armored organization, the last two bearing its motto "Fear Naught." These are: Heavy Branch, Machine Gun Corps 16 Feb.-27 July 1917, Tank Corps 28 July 1917-17 Oct. 1923, Royal Tank Corps 18 Oct. 1923-21 May 1939, (and the same for Royal Tank Regiment 22 May 1939-30 Jan 1953), and Royal Tank Regiment 31 Jan 1953. There; I hope that clears up all those questions you had!

Wargaming Your Way Across Europe 2003: A Tour Commentary

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© Copyright 2003 Hal Thinglum
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