The stars of the show Biggles (left), Roxy (center), and Erich von Schnitzel (still in character on the right) show off their well deserved academy awards for best actor, best actress, and best director, respectively.
"Oooh, eeeh, aaaah. Wha? Woo, oooh." Roxy, directed to "act surprised."
"Ahhh yes, this reminds me of chapter two, page 87 of Biggles' Great Adventure." Biggles, remaining calm while clipping several trees on the way to a hard landing in quicksand.
"An Erich von Schnitzel production, directed by Erich von Schnitzel, screenplay by Erich von Schnitzel, based on a story by Erich von Schnitzel..." Erich von Schnitzel touting his new feature "Crystal Skulls of Atlantis"
"Great performance Biggles, you were way over the top in every scene." Nigel
"Over the top? I have no idea what you're talking about." Biggles
"Get it right kid, I'm a star!" Roxy, annoyed that Short Round couldn't remember her name.
"I grab a dead Nazi and use his body to surf down the steps of the pyramid." One of the shadow's operatives comes up with a novel way to escape the big explosion at the end of the film
"I use my hypnotic powers to mesmerize everyone in the room and grab all the skulls for myself!" The Shadow, getting just a little carried away.
"If you don't stop talking mean I'll hit you with a banana!" Cheetah the chimpanzee,
suddenly gaining the power of speech at the end of the movie.
"Who brought the spunky monkey?" Fu Manchu, annoyed at being interrupted during his great "conquer the world" speech
"Sir, I fear we shall have to sacrifice the gin." Jeeves, fashioning a Molotov cocktail
while being menaced by a large animated wooden Tiki statue in the jungles of the Amazon.
"Jeeves, tell me again why we're in the Amazon." Bertie Wooster
"Killed by an arrow in the back from a flying monkey." Dr. Petrie, considering what his gravestone would say if he hadn't ducked at just the right moment.
"Did you get that? Good. That's a wrap!" Erich von Schnitzel, to his camera man, after climbing out of the rubble following the big pyramid explosion at the end of the game.
"It will be the greatest challenge of his career." A spectator, after being told that Biggles and Roxy were going to get married.
"I traveled through the jungle being a hero, helping everyone, no matter how small." The Phantom, friend to the pygmies, sounding a lot like Horton the Elephant
""That obelisk has stood for a thousand years, surviving earthquakes, storms, and civil
war." Matt, directing the jungle scene
"I run up and knock it over." The Phantom
"Okay, down it goes." Matt
"The monkey flies over and looks down the hole in the roof, what does he see?" Matt,
directing the Arab Village scene
"The barrel of my gun....BANG." Indiana Jones
"...and then the nuns came out." Nigel, describing an exciting moment during his Nazi Escape scene
"I saw it in a movie once, maybe." Howard, describing the meticulous research that went into the Caverns Under Chicago scene.
"I've got my own fedora!" A player explaining why he should be The Shadow
"You look awfully familiar......Tuppy!" Bertie, realizing the headhunter chieftain was an old school chum
"Well, there are worse things a chimp can throw at you." Matt, after Cheetah threw a banana at Fu Manchu
"You can have the wolf, but not the horse." Howard, to The Phantom, making it clear right from the start that this was going to be a low budget film
"We blew our budget on the first two reels." Matt, explaining why the final set wasn't more impressive
"Then they ran over and killed the crocodile. I don't know why, he wasn't bothering anybody." Dave, describing the action in his Caverns Under Chicago scene
"Can I jump up, do a split, and kick them both in the face?" Karamenieh
"Sure, those years of belly dancing haven't been wasted." Matt
"And then the monkey got in the car and tried to drive..." Dave, describing the airport scene
"And the explosion destroys the great library of Atlantis, robbing human civilization of another irreplaceable treasure." Howard, after Indiana Jones dropped a stick of dynamite down a grate in the floor during the final
scene.
"Nice going, Indy. Did you ever find anything that you didn't destroy?" a sarcastic bystander
More Crystal Skulls of Atlantis Filmed on Location at Historicon 2003
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© Copyright 2003 by Matt Fritz.
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