Snappy Nappy

The Austrian Invasion of Italy 1809
Archduke John vs. Prince Eugene

Memoirs of Gen. Davidovitch:
Austrian Perspective

by Wally Simon

1. My Austrian division, commanded by Davidovitch (I never figured out how a guy named Davidovitch was appointed to head an Austrian force) was told to head west, and that there was another Austrian corps ahead of me.

2. I made 4 moves, and came to the edge of the world as defined on "my table". Russ then moved my units off-board, and I found myself deep in the mountains of Opar, near Tarzan's secret treasure city. The terrain was abysmal... all hills and mountains and gorges and cliffs, permitting movement only along the roads.

3. I bumped into a French division, and kept on testing the melee rules... continuously charging to contact along the road. Due to the narrowness of the road, only two stands (a brigade) could move forward to contact, and so I engaged in a series of brigade-on-brigade combats, losing just about every one of them.

4. My brigades' data sheets quickly showed the decrease in their fighting abilities... they slid from "Firm" to "Wary" to "Nervous" to "Help!" to "Omigawd!" to "Why can't we all get along?" to "Please don't hit me again!".

5. When Davidivitch had lost all the brigades in his division, I thought it was time to call it quits, and sent a message to the Austrian commander to that effect.

We... the Hursts and I... much appreciate the invitation. And now we can die contentedly, having seen a Lockwood presentation in the grand manner.

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