Freak Out

A Capsule Review

by Patrick M. Rodgers


The premise of Freak Out! is delightful - twenty players enter a crowded shopping mall and try to reduce everything to its component molecules.

There are only three orders in the game: Move (which is used to navigate between the 49 stores in the mall), Destroy (to cause property damage), and Kill (self explanatory).

Fifteen Action Points are available each turn, with each action requiring an Average of 3 - 6 Points.

The rules consist of both sides of a single sheet of paper, but they are quite complete. Freak Out! is intended as an introductory PBM, and while experienced players may enjoy the twisted humor, they may lose interest in the simple 20-turn game before it ends.

One cautionary note: the humor in the game is (as one would expect) demented, and may offend "politically correct" players. The moderator requires all players to be at least 17 years of age.

Moving into store #48 and issuing a Kill and Destroy order could produce the following text:

Victor's Secret - Your pace is slowed as you enter this strange boutique. The walls are covered in lace and satin, and the shelves hold an interesting collection of large teddies and slips. But also, a fine assortment of power tools can be found in the corner. In the back of the store, a large bearded man is modeling an emerald teddy for two lumberjacks.

Grabbing a DD bra and filling it with nails, you begin to whirl the sling above your head. "A tisket, a tasket...wait a minute, what the hell is a tasket? Er, I mean, a brisket, a brasket, who's gonna need a casket? Is it him? Is it her? When I give it a whirl!" You release the double barrel weapon with a shout, but your aim sucks! Some dorky looking guy with a cellular phone who is walking by the store manages to catch several of the nails in the face. Well, to hell with it anyway, he looked like a jerk!

Having a chainsaw in close proximity causes a smile to creep across your face. Giving it a rip, you raise it high in the air and rev it loudly. Then you dramatically cut the engine and shout: "QUACK!" You start the chainsaw again and proceed to cut all of the head off the mannequins. "QUACK!! QUACK!!"

Cost for setup, rules, full color map, and first turn is $5.00. Turns thereafter are $2.00 each. Four players signing up together receive their last four turns free of charge. To play, contact Guy M. Games, PO Box 3388, Carbondale IL 62902.

Post Marque: Editorial
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