Part 1

HOW TO BE SURE SOME ONE NEVER COMES TO YOUR HOUSE TO PLAY AGAIN

1) Constantly be drawing the interest away from the game and show the other player(s) the remodelled bathroom you sort of did, your proposed workroom, etc. (usually a tactic used when heavily losing game)

2) Make sure that your guests park out on the street and not in your driveway so that when they leave they can find slashed tires, broken antennae, etc, (Especially effective in stongly urban area)

3) Quickly drink all your own beer and then drink theirs...why not? They've got to drive home while you can get as drunk as you want! (Some even feel that this is a "favor"...i.e. what are friends for)

4) While getting as drunk as you want, constantly refer to how tired you're getting and how it's almost time to quit. (Also effective tactic when losing)

5) If that doesn't work, head upstairs and turn off all the lights. (It's happened ... more than once!)

6) Make sure to let the kids run around, stay up late and act as crazy as they want, it's healthy and they'll enjoy "playing" with your quest prize figures. (A sure fire cure!)

7) If you don't have a dog, get one, preferably one that barks maniacally, foams at the mouth and jumps wildly at the throats of any strangers. (My very favorite--works every time!)

8) In the winter, don't shovel out the driveway, let your guests exerience what you have to go through each day it snows. Besides, if enough of them show up, they'll pack the snow down)

9) Make sure that the bathroom is out of order andjor always occupied, your guest will get more of the feel of the times if he has to go out to the backyard constantly. (Ah, yes, this brings back memories.

10)As soon as he's out the door, be sure to loudly laugh and boisterously (so he can hear) tell your wife what a jerk he was. (No comment)