If there truly is a `God of Wargames', then he must be having a fairly good laugh at the antics of this mere mortal over the last two weeks. I have spent all of the time tinkering with the organisation and storage of my 15mm Seven Years War armies. Do not get me wrong, I enjoy thoroughly moving the various units around within their storage boxes, and the administration cannot amount to more than 27 foolscap pages. No, that is not the reason for the possible celestial mirth, although, were it not enjoyable, it would be almost impossible to intellectually justify the expenditure of so much time. Part of the exercise of reorganisation involved making room for some additional units, and now we are getting to the heart of the matter. These additional units exist only in my head and on my army lists, since they are a product of convention anticipation. The Deity will therefore, no doubt, have a giggle at the temerity of this otherwise rational human being trying to second-guess what will be offered for sale at an upcoming convention; would anybody sensible spend that amount of time on a `just in case...'? As an example of contingency planning it ranks alongside keeping a house full of cats in case a milk lorry overturns outside the door. Possible, but not really likely.
One of the advantages of MWAN being on a two months' cycle of issue is that I can comment on the convention anticipation phase, above, and also report on adventures as they unfolded, below.
The first fly in the ointment became evident when `Management' decided she would accompany me to Scotland's fair capital, and, while I attended the Claymore convention, she would visit the Discovering Earth exhibition and then perhaps indulge in a little light retail therapy. Perhaps? Little? Light? At least this year the weather in Edinburgh stayed kind all day, and we did not have to perform our usual juggling act with packages and umbrellas, all while boarding and leaving a bus and two trains. When you view the capacity for chaos involved in something as simple as two adults taking a day-trip, it makes you better appreciate the logistical difficulties of moving whole armies. This is irrespective of whether the movement be by day or night, in fair weather or foul, and without even considering that, for some or all of the time, someone may be shooting at you!
To get to the actual convention, then. This is a well-run, normally busy event with the usual high standard of displays and wargames taking place in the centre of the hall, with traders, bring-and-buy, and essential services located around the outside. Because of the selfimposed pressures arising from the first paragraph, my initial stop was at the rugby serum of the bring-and-buy stall. I am convinced that there is a much better way of organising this part of the convention, but more on that subject later. For the 2003 Claymore convention, the cupboard was bare of all 15mm Seven Years War figures. So much then for the time spent deciding which units I could accept. At least I was not faced with any awkward 'either/or' choices. Given the sorry start to the day, I was in need of some serious cheering up and so, after an initial skirmishing circuit of the show, I renewed acquaintance with some of the traders whom I had met on previous sorties in the convention arena.
Suitably uplifted and cheered, I made a leisured lap of the circuit, including another fruitless check on the bring-and-buy, and was finally on my way to the exit when I noticed a trade stand and remembered that last year I had bought some Essex SYW 15mm cavalry from them. I was therefore emboldened to ask whether they had sold out or, more likely, had not brought any 15mm SYW figures to the convention. You could have knocked me down with a feather when the trader gave a grin and reached under the table to produce a box-file packed with Prussian blue SYW 15mm figures in tricomes. I was so flabbergasted that I promptly ignored my painstakingly researched list and bought the lot! What gets into us at these conventions? There must be some unwritten rule forbidding your departure from the hall having the same amount of money with which you entered. As well as the aforementioned Prussians, I had the usual supply of magazines and terrain pieces without which I clearly could not live. It was now time to meet `Management', feed her, and complete the safari from Edinburgh to Glasgow, and then home to Cardross.
It will be another year before this particular exercise will be repeated, but I can console myself that before then there will be the convention at Kirriemuir (SKELP) at the end of November, and Glasgow (Wappinshaw) at the beginning of April, each of which has a different selection of friends to be visited. Since I retired, I have restricted my attendance at these shows to only those in Scotland. My return journey travel times to the three destinations are: Glasgow - 2 hours; Edinburgh - 6 hours; and Kirriemuir - 8 hours. While I accept that these times are nothing compared to what many fellow enthusiasts, home and abroad, spend, I have clearly reached the time in life when I will not expend more than one day on any one show, so most of the English shows are outwith my remit.
I cannot close this chapter on Claymore 2003 without relating the postscript. When we eventually reached home, my first move, as you would expect, was to examine my purchases, and to try to marry what I had bought to what I had set out to buy. This is the part which caused the `God of Wargames' to lose his grip on dignity and just fall about on the floor in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Not only were my new Prussians not a match for the units on my wish-list, they were not even Essex figures but `small' 15mm which could not be used with any existing Essex army. However, we wargamers are nothing if not resilient so, when I had finally stopped crying, I used the new figures as the infantry for a new Hessen army. The previous Hessen infantry were converted to some of the units on my list, since they were Essex figures. I do not know how I could have failed to identify the size difference when the box was opened in Edinburgh, but I am putting it down to a unique medical condition which causes a severe deterioration in my eyesight as a function of distance from home. No, you are correct, it is just a function of stupidity and senility. God of Wargames 1 vs Arrogant Solo Wargamers 0.
Returning to the day-long scrimmage which constitutes bring-and-buy at most conventions, I am convinced that at least some of the congestion could be eased by a little more thought to organisation. I am not aware how a Flea Market operates, but the bring-andbuy theoretically operates as follows. The wargamer, having decided that he will dispose of, say, some figures, puts a notional value on the lot of £20. On top of that, he will require a further 10% as payment to the organising club for selling his wares, and an additional 50p for liability insurance. To get to the original £20, the item will require to be displayed on the stall for £23. So, clutching his precious bundle, our wargamer presents himself at the appropriate area at the time laid down by the organisers, and joins a queue of like-minded individuals to have his item identified, logged, and accepted for display.
There is no problem with any of this except for the last word: `display'. As it stands, items just seem to be placed on trestle tables in order of when they arrive, so, even if you have only one period of interest, you require to view the entire contents of the stall. Given the press of humanity, starting at one end of the display line could mean several fraught hours of inching along to get to the other end.
My suggestion is for separate areas related to different periods identified by different placards, displayed above the back of the table(s) in question. The objections to this, which spring instantly to mind, include: constraints of space; shortage of staff; knowledge of staff; and co-operation of sellers. Taking them in turn, then, they could be dealt with as follows:
- Constraints of space is a valid objection only if the proposed solution does, in fact, take up more space than presently allocated and, even if it does, it would now allow for a degree of flexibility on location siting for the various periods. This in itself could be an advantage to traders, since there would be a more even distribution of the buying public, unlike at present where only intrepid explorers manage to reach the traders stationed at the far end of the hall from the bring-and-buy section. Another advantage of separate locations would be the elimination of any confusion caused by items being returned to the wrong location on the table.
- Shortage of staff may arise from the fact that the organising club has allowed for too many sub-divisions in the wargames spectrum. Almost all of us could write down ten or twelve subject headings, from Ancients to Sci-Fi, and that is without including hobby literature and Fantasy subjects. There is, however, no need to have one member of staff to each period, since the periods could be grouped together, and there should be fewer complaints as long as the appropriate notice-boards are displayed behind the tables.
- Knowledge of staff only really becomes anything of an issue if there are items offered for sale in an area of which no club member has experience. In that unlikely event, the items concerned would be offered under a note saying that the description of the goods had been undertaken by the seller.
- The co-operation of sellers would be relatively easily obtained provided that sufficient notice were given of the intention to split the bring-and-buy into different sections and, therefore, multiple offerings will need to be submitted in multiple containers, and may be displayed at different locations.
None of the above may be even remotely feasible in any practical sense, but at least I have got it off my chest, and if it serves to give even one event organiser pause for thought then it may have contributed a little to increasing the pleasurable experience which a visit to a convention should generate.
No Drums, No Trumpets
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© Copyright 2004 Hal Thinglum
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