And you know that you're MARRIED to a wargamer when: Every flat space in the house is covered with figures.. The cat is suddenly missing some whiskers and the tanks have new aeriels.. You (and any guests) have to crawl under the wargames board to get into the spare bedroom... The carpet has various coloured splodges on it, forming a new pattern, and usually smells of spilt turps... The bathroom is turned into a library full of wargames magazines, and you buy a magazine rack for it in an attempt to control the number of books etc, which still doesn't work.. The first shelves put up in the new house are to hold the figures, and the first bookshelf is to hold all the military books, ... The cooker is covered in white metal from the home casting... You get funny looks in the art shops as he tests every brush by licking his fingers and wetting it... You find the TWO large boxes in the attic of unmade vehicle kits bought to finish the army for a game sometime in the future... You hope the walls are thicker than they are so the neighbours don't complain at the sound of the minidrill around midnight... You can't understand why the table is full of paint tins but only a few of them have paint in them... The 3 tier trolley that your Aunt bought you as a Wedding present was really for his modelling use, and not for tea and cakes as she believes... You spend hours searching on the carpet for a tiny piece of metal which is almost invisible to the naked eye... There are hundreds of unpainted figures lying around and he still needs to order more because... You go to a DBM show and find that you're the only woman there and everyone is staring... I think you get the picture! When You Know You're a Wargamer When... Back to Dispatch Apr. 99 Table of Contents Back to Dispatch List of Issues Back to MagWeb Master Magazine List © Copyright 1999 by HMGS Mid-South This article appears in MagWeb (Magazine Web) on the Internet World Wide Web. Other military history articles and gaming articles are available at http://www.magweb.com