You Know You're a Wargamer When...

Humor

by Brian

You know you're a wargamer when:
....you have more dice than a Las Vegas casino.
.....when you walk into a DIY store you look at the tool boxes to see whether they're suitable for your latest Army.
.....you're looking for a new house and you can picture one of the rooms as your games room.
.....you use the excuse to your wife that painting the bathroom is nothing like painting a regiment of Napoleonic French line infantry.
.....you have a collection of military reference books that rivals the British National Library.
.....you criticise any historical film for even the most minimal error in uniform or weaponry.
......while you're washing up you're thinking that the brillo pad you're using will make a great hedge when you cut it up. Can you think of any more?

Hi All:
... Continuing this theme, you know you're a wargamer when..
... You sell your house because you need a larger area for your game room.
... You take your honeymoon at a site known to have a great battlefield nearby.
... You take a 300 mile detour on a trip to see two AWI battlefields at Cowpens and Kings Mountain.
... You cancel out on dinner party to finish painting that last regiment of Cuirassiers for the game tomorrow at the shop.
... You consider making a pair of cat-skin gloves when the newly acquired kitten eats the tips off all of your paintbrushes.
... Your friends travel abroad and your souvenier is a book by Don Featherstone.
... Your two best friends have the armies which are the historic enemies of your armies.
... You always check the yellow pages in the phone for hobby shops whenever you arrive in a new city.
... Your toy soldier collection is worth more than your house, car, etc.
... You plan your retirement to coincide with the major wargaming cons.
... You consider not going to your goddaughter's wedding because it conflicts with Cold Wars.
...You consider getting a postoffice box that your spouse doesn't know about to act as a drop point for new gaming acquisitions.
... And I'm sure there are others I have been guilty of in the last 35 years. ....You know its serious when your "friends" start to buy futures in your house, as in years to come it will be a valuable lead mine.
....When teenage acquaintances reckon your games room is safe in case of a nuclear war because of all the lead.
....When your wife tries to remember the games room carpet.
.....When clearing the painting table becomes a family event to be celebrated.
....Well, if you are drying out teabags and cutting them up for tarps etc.. and using the tea grounds for ground cover...or unrolling your toothpaste tube and cutting it up for flags... or cutting up certain types of furnace filters for hedgerows....oh well you've got the idea
... when The Foundry goes out of business when you stop buying from them.
... when you actually speak Barkerese in daily life. "If this is not Sunday, except during the summer, give me a white bread, only when it is raining, and, but, or, there is no rainbow outside, otherwise just give me a doughnut, without chocolate, nor filled, except when this is a leap-year."
... your local shopkeeper calls the police and reports you as a missing person when you have not entered his shop that day.
... there is some truth in your stories when you say "Actually it was me who got Featherstone interested in wargames"
... you own a signed copy of "Little Wars"
... you actually play "Little Wars" with pre-WW1 vintage Britain's.
... the diagnosis for your death is "lead poisoning"

You Know You're MARRIED to a Wargamer When...


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