I have a slightly different take on Table Talk.

For me, games are primarily a social activity, and so the most important thing to remember is social etiquette. So no whinging, no insulting people, no violence, no pouting, no threatening behaviour. If you do these things in other social circles you will be frowned upon, and rightly so. For some reason there are people who don't believe this extends to the gaming table. The other thing is no undue exploitation - if you have a new player, the way a game is played will need to change by necessity, simply for reasons of social politeness. If you're introducing a player to a sport, do you pick on him/her, or give time for the newbie to find their feet? Are you really interested in whether they'll want to play again?

If you have a group of gamers, then I would contend that even meta-gaming is allowed provided it is limited to the scope of an individual game. So part of your banter can be psyching someone out (which has happened to me on numerous occasions with hilarious effect), in-game threats, discussing the relative positions of players, etc. The limit on this really is that you should only do as you would have done to you. So deliberately skewing a game by making a deal in a game unsuited for deals is not necessarily a good thing, even if it may give you a 50/50 chance of a win. Ruining the game for other players other than by good play is bad social etiquette and thereby bad gaming etiquette.

The main problem is a matter of gaining a consensus of what is regarded as good social etiquette, and will no doubt vary from group to group. An important part of this is understanding that each person will want to gain something different from playing the game - some will be all-out for the win at all costs, whereas others might not be all that interested in winning but want to have as much fun as they can. Everyone has to cut a bit of slack for the other players with this one, and accept that one part of playing games with different groups is that you additionally have to learn to play the group dynamic alongside everything else. If you don't want to be bothered with this then you'll need to be more selective about who you play with, and you may even find yourself running out of opponents if you're not careful.

There only a few things which I regard as unacceptable when it comes to table talk:

1. insulting other players. Generally this happens where a player criticises another's play and intimates that they must be stupid/subhuman or whatever. This can get to the stage when hey claim that a players move "ruins" the game. People who do this don't deserve to have opponents. I can think of one case where this sort of behaviour has prompted players to avoid playing games with an individual. Sad, but true.

2. Telling another player, newbie or not, what play they need to make. It is one thing to point out a player's options, but telling them which choice to make is both demeaning and too easily exploited by players. There are times when it is difficult to avoid doing this, but in those cases it tends to be a case of group-think rather than anything else. One case in point is the inevitable reminding of a player that the offensive player in Cosmic Encounter already has 4 bases and is about to win. This IMO is OK. Telling someone HOW they should stop the offensive player gaining the win is another thing entirely.

3. Distracting the active player with non-game conversation when it is his/her turn. This includes continuing a conversation after a player's turn comes round. This actively slows down the game more than any other sort of distraction. This may actually be what you were chastised for.

4. Meta-gaming outside the scope of the game. For example, threatening to target a player in all future games if they do or don't make a certain move. I have a house rule which bans this sort of thing as there are plenty of other ways of winning games other than resorting to blackmail. I also regard it as the height of bad manners somewhat akin to threatening to belittle someone at every party you see them at in future, unless they let you eat the last slice of gateau at this party.

Making deals should be allowed in any game which does not specifically prohibit them. The point here is to understand group dynamics, for example some 18xx players are sensitive about people making deals which involve anything other than short-term goals. At the same time, there are players whose aversion to deal-making borders on the paranoic, and these people have clearly forgotten some of the social aspect of gaming. The important thing with deal-making is that everyone knows what people expect within the group before a game starts.