CUSTER CHESS

Black: One King, in one of the four middle squares of the board. White: Eight Queens, one King, free setup.

HISTORICAL DETERMINISM CHESS

Black: Normal chess setup White: Already lost

LIM CHESS

Setup is as normal. Place eight black chits and eight white chits in a cup. Draw to determine turn order.

GAME REVIEW CHESS

Black: Sets up however he wants White: Takes a good hour explaining to Black why he's a Dumb Ass, how his setup is so utterly flawed it's beyond human comprehension, how poorly it looks from a graphical standpoint, and whatever else White can think of--and then sets up exactly the same way as Black did.

LIVE-ACTION GOTH CHESS

Throw the pieces at each other. Vampire makeup recommended.

REAL-TIME CHESS

All players move all their pieces all the time. You snooze, you lose.

MICROSOFT CHESS

Both players start with one pawn each. A third player, Bill, makes Black and White pay (real money) to get more pieces onto the board, but only if they agree to never play anything but Microsoft Chess again. If they threaten to leave, point out that Bill owns every other chessboard on earth.

XTR CHESS

Black: Sets up as normal. White: Sneezes on the board, declares victory, claims that Black doesn't appreciate him enough.