A Relaxing Night
With the Old Wurlitzer
Cranked Up

Fiction

by Edward J. Elsner
Artwork by Drew MacDonald

It began stomping and flailing around above us, threatening to collapse the roof of the cavern we'd landed hard at the bottom of Now rocks and dirt were raining down from above. Zanloven regained enough composure to blow his warning horn and summon the knights to the forest for battle. Then. he turned to help me in setting up a crude catapult in the cavern with which to deter the dragon from further mayhem. We'd just finished and piled on a load of stalactites and other sharp debris from the floor when the dragon finally spotted the hole and poked his head through to regain his dinner.

We unleashed a volley of nasty, sharp rocks as soon as we'd spotted the white of his eyes. It wasn't much of a catapult, but the rocks were still accelerating when they smashed into the dragon's wide open searching eyes, damaging his brain even further. He reeled back in pain and anger and we readied for another attack. But this time he began digging up the cavern roof instead of poking his head in. As soon as the hole was enlarged enough for a clear shot at the surface we unleashed another volley, this time striking him in the mouth. Several stones lodged in his throat and we climbed out quickly as that mighty ,dragon stumbled and gasped, eventually collapsing dead into the cavern below where we'd just been. The knights were soon to arrive, only to find two unarmed and unarmored men dusting themselves off and the tall and rear end of a great dragon sticking up from where it was encased in earth. Boy, did we ever get great mileage out of that one! The stories we told as to how we had defeated that dragon are still being changed and embellished throughout the land.

I never did advance any further in my remaining years with the company. Taking a knighthood of my own would have meant leaving my best ffiend's side for extended periods and I was too stubborn for that. And, as his main squire and right hand man, I already had the trappings of a knight in shining armor. It was great to be working for Zanloven. Although it was more like working with him, especially since he asked my advice on any important matters and quite a few unimportant ones as well. He never was much of one for making drink selections at strange taverns, something I still excel at!

Eventually, Zanloven fell sick with a strange malady after a long voyage to uncharted lands. The only chance of saving him was to make a dangerous quest to the heart of a savage land and retrieve a potent herb mentioned only in native legends. All other avenues had been tried, including power of curative magic's from advanced clerics and repeated prayers to unhearing gods. I gathered up my gear and headed off alone, not wanting to endanger anyone else, to risk the perilous last chance Mission. After a long harrowing trip through parched desert, frigid mountains, and sweltering jungle I finally arrived at the place of the legend to find nothing matching the herb's description. Feeling totally powerless and trapped to come so far and still be no closer to saving my best friend, I fell to my knees and cried out to all the gods in existence. To my great suprise and shock, one answered.

A booming voice came from this imposing figure in brilliant white armor with a horn at his breast who had just appeared on the end of a new rainbow. He introduced himself as Heimdall, god of guardians and the dawn light. He said that he saw and heard all and knew of my plight and also where the herb was to be found. I promised to do anything in return for his help. All he asked was for me to take his message throughout the lands to help him establish a presence on this plane, as his companion Tyr already had done.

I agreed, as it was a small price to pay in order to rescue a true friend from death. Heimdall took my to the plant, which was growing underneath a clinging vine in the deep shade of the jungle. As we made our way out of the jungle to the frigid mountains were Heimdall had crossed over from his plane, I asked why he had chosen an aging squire, of all people, to take his message of guardianship to the people of these lands. He said that there had been no other so qualified to ever appear in this plane. He mentioned my undying devotion and guarding of Zanloven as only a true friend would. He also mentioned the fact that I was willing to pray to any god for help in trying to save Zanloven. Most people got stuck in their ways and only looked to one god for help in times of trouble, when all gods needed to be combined for a truer picture of the universe. I did make it back to Zanloven in time with the herb and he pulled through. The reunion was short-lived, however, as he retired from adventuring and I was destined to travel the lands spreading Heimdall's word.

I gave up all my possessions and my position in the company of knights to spread Heimdall's message to as many as possible. Many came, at least to some extent, to the god of guardians, bridges, and all those in need of protection. Most of the people were either living in hostile wilderness areas, bodyguards, or keepers of bridges, but there were also many cities were a shrine to Heimdall appeared. I worked even harder to become a true cleric so as to help those in need by the powers of Heimdall should soon have been able to grant.

After several years waiting for the worshipper base to increase and then several more of failing to get spells when they should of been available, I returned to the mountains to seek out Heimdall for an explanation. He appeared to me once again and told me what I was afraid was true. My talents did not lie in the priesthood. Apparently my extensive training in combat throughout my previous fifty years had left little room for clerical pursuits. Especially since I was constantly falling back on it to pull my butt out of scrapes I encountered while traveling and spreading the word.

Heimdall still wanted me to have a special position in his fledgling church and hopefully clerical powers down the road, so he dubbed me the First Paladin of Heimdall. I returned to the road and dove into this more familiar training. Soon I was actually a paladin and that's about the same time I found my way to the city by the sea. So far my time here has been successful and enjoyable. Occasionally Heimdall still appears, or intervenes unseen, to provide me with wisdom, and knowledge or to pull my butt out of a tight spot. Lately, I've taken to wearing my full armor and carrying all my equipment whenever I go for walks in this exciting city through. It seems over half of the days I start out to spend just wandering the city or shopping turn into adventures worthy of the entire company of knights from my younger days. Just goes to show how much everyone in the city by the sea could benefit from saying a prayer to Heimdall, all-seeing, all-hearing god of guardians, every once in a while.


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