The tourist map labels this "San Geronimo Fort and Museum." Well, that's half true. It is a fort, but the only museum on the spot is the museum of wishful thinking.

The fort is sited at the point of a small bay -- Laguna del Condado -- to the east of Old San Juan. In olden days, it'd be a good site to foil any ships trying to land troops here to end run the city. One British expedition was forced to land further east at an unguarded location--somewhere around Three Palm Beach--and trek westward.

In any case, today it sits behind the Hilton Caribe hotel. In some ways, it's fitting. The Hilton Caribe is an older, run down hotel clinging to a name and former glory. The fort is the same way--old and neglected, but still standing. Funny thing is, you can't get to the fort directly from the hotel. A stout fence prevents that--no doubt to keep the locals who fish off the fort from sneaking among the Hilton guests.

The Hilton has an expansion underweigh, and cleverly blocked off access from the street with metal gating. But if the locals could get through...

We walked through the gate and over the pristine path to the fort. At the main "entrance," a causeway of sorts from the walkway to the fort, we couldn't help but notice that this place must have been closed for years. We walked over anyway.

Give the Spanish credit for building a fort to last. It's small compared to El Morro. Then again, the Hilton Caribe is small compared to El Morro.

A couple of cannon are up top. We didn't enter any of the unlit passageways--no telling what bats, rats, snakes, or other irrational fears lay within. There's no museum anywhere I could see.

And that's about it. It'd clean up well and make a nice extension to strolling round the Hilton compound.

Third Millennium Park

On the western side of the Hilton is the Park Plaza Normandie hotel (supposedly built like the cruise ship on which the owner met his wife--it is narrow and long), and beyond that is Third Millennium Park/Sixto Escobar Park. This pair--one is a stadium and the other the greenery around it--is an active recreation area. It also contains a small bastion at the tip protecting a half moon bay (part of which is the Hilton's private beach). While not fit for a specific visit, if you're staying at the Hilton, Normandie, or across the Laguna at the Wyndham, it's worth a walk just to take in the sights and perhaps work off the calories from dinner.

Hilton Caribe Hotel

A word about the hotel and its restaurants. I've stayed in Hiltons before, but this Hilton seems to be run by Paris Hilton.

First impressions are great. The open air style 1950s reception area/lobby invites you in and also lets the breezes blow through. Restaurants and shops surround the lobby, and the grounds out back offer abundant swimming pools, swim ways, and garden paths. A private beach completes the outdoor decor. An exercise gym is next door in case you want to peddle or jog to nowhere on machines in air conditioned comfort.

The hotel rooms are fine, per se, but the maintenance needs updating, and the employees need more enthusiasm. The first day, we discovered the toilet only made a half-hearted attempt at flushing. No real problem--we'll be out all day in Old San Juan. When we returned, a knock at the door brought a couple of maintenance guys. They must be here to explain what happened.

No, they were just getting to the problem. Good thing we weren't waiting for them. Maybe they're the only two guys in maintenance. Maybe the rest of the hotel was falling down around our ears. I believe the latter.

The next day, we awoke to water dripping through the ceiling. Judging from the water stains on said ceiling, this didn't appear to be the first time. I called the front desk. You'd think they would be worried about something like that. Not in the least. As the ceiling continued to drip and became more water logged, I went down to the front desk.

I used to write for a magazine called Hotel Business, and while I may not know everything about the hotel industry, I picked up enough info about how hotels work...or not. Maybe they figured I had a water fixation. I was assured they were on top of it. And I said, great, but I'm underneath it. Move me to a new room.

The rusting cannon aims at the Wyndham across the lagune.

They did, although in "clever mode," they moved us up one floor and two doors down. On the way to our new room, we passed the leaking one -- a maid with buckets, mops, and towels was cleaning up the spill, although the carpets needed drying. Now all I had to worry about was falling through the floor rather than the ceiling collapsing on me.

What do you know. The new room showed no obvious flaws.

As for the restaurants, the buffet breakfast (included with our room package, but $18.50 otherwise) was spectacular. Service was excellent, even at peak times, and was a great way to start the morning.

The Spanish restaurant was likewise outstanding. I mean, it was really good. This is one place worth taking a separate trip to eat in.

The steakhouse was excellent, but pricey even for a resort restaurant. The Italian restaurant was adequate, but I've had much better Italian food in various "mom and pop" places. The casual restaurant (same place as the breakfast buffet) had a dinner buffet that was good. Not as great as the breakfast buffet, but good.

There's a large restaurant district about a half mile west of the Hilton. Overall, except for the Spanish restaurant, you'd probably have better luck there, but the Hilton restaurants are convenient.

Knowing what I know now, I'd be uneasy booking at the Hilton Caribe again. Not that I know about any other hotels, but I'd try one of the others instead, especially those between the Marriot and the Wyndham adjacent to the restaurant district.