If you have been refereeing long enough, you have probably heard these words at least once or twice: "You don't know how to play!". I know I have. They still echo in my mind as I sit down to Referee for our group every week. I first heard them years ago when we started designing Forge: Out of Chaos™ for public release.

"Pardon me?" I had said to one of my players in disbelief. "What are you doing?"

"We are going to travel to the Dragon's lair and see if we can gather some scales."

"You realize that the Dragon may not like visitors." I said attempting to sway them from their suicidal course. After all, these characters were low level and in Forge, Dragons are powerful creatures.

"He won't even see us," my player responded. "We'll sneak into his lair while he's sleeping and take some scales. Maybe we'll even get some treasure."

I could not control my laughter and looked toward the other players awaiting their interjections. But nothing happened. In fact, they were all smiles looking forward to penetrating the infamous Dragon's lair.

"One night as you travel to the cave, you notice a shape flying above you. The immense form blots out the stars, it circles around the campfire, aware of your position." My words were meant to instill fear.

They failed.

"We put out the campfire and hide." a player stated matter-of-factly. "Maybe he'll go away."

Well, the monster did go away, flying straight back toward its lair. The next night as the party continued to approach, the scenario repeated itself. This time with a little more drama; a hint that they were in for some major trouble if they should continue on their course. And, you wouldn't believe it, they continued to press on.

The formidable Dragon soon came from its lair to devour the ill-prepared party. My brother, standing up from his chair, his eyes open wide in obvious disbelief and grief resulting from his character's quick demise, shouted "You don't know how to play!" I was dumfounded, and spent the next thirty minutes listening to his rant about the value of "heroic fantasy". About how characters should be able to face overwhelming odds and survive. His words were insightful, powerful, and loud. But, in the end, it came down to a definition of his actions: heroic or stupid. I chose the latter, eliciting an additional stern rebuke.

What I am trying to communicate to Referees everywhere is that fantasy role-playing is about heroic fantasy: slaying the monster, rescuing the damsel, saving the villagers. It is the stuff of legends and fairy tales. However, it is also about making rational decisions, knowing when to lay down a character's life, and when to retreat and regroup. I would not be a fair Referee if I allowed my players to march their characters into overwhelming scenarios and survive simply because they consider it heroic; because they want to. After all, if dying is not part of the game, then there is no real heroism, no valor.

Being a good Referee means you lay out obstacles for your players. You allow them to choose their path (providing hints if their intended path leads only to disaster), empowering them with ability to make decisions. It also means that, although there are dangers, success can be achieved with careful planning, bravery, and common sense. What your players sacrifice can often be replaced with Binding Kits, Armor Repair Kits, and Luck (to some degree). Still, as I responded to my brother's rant, "sometimes the hero dies."

In closing I turn to all the game masters out there and advise: be fair, be challenging, and be impartial. If you can achieve these three goals, then, in my book, you know how to play!

Written by Mark Kibbe of Basement Games, Co-Creator of the Forge: Out of Chaos RPG and World of Juravia, http://www.basementgames.com