Rough Riders (1997)
Written and Directed by John Milius

I had high hopes for this movie. It was a Ted Turner production, and I was hoping for something along the lines of Gettysburg. This movie didn't come close to hitting the mark. Tom Berenger plays Teddy Roosevelt, and he looks splendid. Berenger's performance tries to walk a thin line. The intent seems to be to portray Teddy as eager and inexperienced, but often he looks like a doltish buffoon. A good example of this is an early scene where Teddy attends a dinner party on the eve of the Spanish American War.

Berenger hits the right notes as an excited Roosevelt talks Leonard Wood into taking command of the Rough Riders. Moments later Berenger hams it up. Teddy charges through the room, knocking people over and generally making an ass of himself in both English and French. "The President has the backbone of a chocolate éclair!" he loudly declares to the distinguished guests.

The first half of the movie is utterly forgettable. The training of the Rough Riders follows all the usual war movie formulas. First they gather a diverse assortment of one-dimensional stereotypes from around the country. Then their shared hardships bond them into an elite fighting unit. Yawn. The only bright spot is Gary Busey who steals every scene he's in as Gen. Joe Wheeler. Unfortunately we also have to watch George Hamilton's ludicrous portrayal of William Randolph Hearst. Milius does at least give us an inkling of the confusing that marked America's mobilization. The chaotic landing in Cuba could have been a lot of fun, but we have to settle for watching the Riders commandeer a train on their way to the boats.

The action picks up considerably once they get to Cuba. A token effort is made to get the Cuban rebels into the movie, but it doesn't go very far. It's a shame that after 100 years the director couldn't have taken a more balanced look at this war. Instead it's jingo all the way. Apparently there's no room to show us anything about the Cubans or the Spanish, let alone Americans critical of the war. A drunken and jaded Stephen Crane is the only one that doesn't seem enthusiastic to "see the elephant." Soon the Riders are shooting it out with the Spanish in the jungle.

The assaults on Kettle and San Juan Hills look good and have enough action to satisfy any war movie buff. Some of the dialogue and events seem to be directly out of Roosevelt's account of the action. Which makes it even more surprising when the Spanish open up with Maxim machineguns from the tops of both hills (the Spanish even have German advisors)!

Where did this fiction come from? The action was exciting enough without this bit of fantasy.

Teddy and the Rough Riders skirmish their way to the top of Kettle Hill and storm the summit with some good hand-to-hand fighting. In the movie's most bizarre scene the Riders capture a Maxim. Teddy puts a pistol to the head of one of the "Huns" and makes him explain how it works. The Riders use it to open fire on San Juan Hill while reciting Shakespeare (Henry V). Then off they go to storm the San Juan Hill, pausing just long enough to stab the German to death. The Rough Riders get most of the glory, but there's still a bit left over for Jack Pershing and the Buffalo Soldiers. The regular army gets no credit at all.

During this exciting battlefield action we have to listen to a suddenly patriotic Stephen Crane describing the battle to a wounded photographer. Crane's discourse is so corny that it provides the best laughs in the movie. "I can see the flags! Waving like freedom," he gushes. Then Hearst (looking like some kind of Gypsy or pirate) rides up to save the photographer.

The best scene (that doesn't involve Busey) comes at the end when a suddenly somber Roosevelt finally seems to realize the magnitude of what they've done. Too bad the rest of the movie can't be taken as seriously.