Caesar, Ted, Charlie, John Lesko, and Matt sat down to a rousing game of Nuclear Escalation at the January Game Day. Like a typical third world nation, Caesar made enemies very quickly, and found it difficult to build missiles large enough to deliver his warheads. He was the first to fall as he was bombarded by megaton after megaton from the other nations. Next the pack turned on poor Ted who had the misfortune to gain 25 million citizens thanks to a successful cloning program.

Jealousy is an ugly thing, and so was Ted’s country after he became the target of choice. Nobody can stand up for long against the combined nuclear might of three nations. The remaining three players tossed nukes back and forth for a while. Eventually John’s luck ran out and he was out. The end game was a death duel between Matt and Charlie. Charlie gained the upper hand when he successfully launched a space platform. Matt had a killer satellite ready but couldn’t come up with the necessary launch vehicle.

With Charlie firing off nukes two at a time it wasn’t long before Matt was eliminated. But in a fitting final act of defiance Matt’s posthumous retaliatory strike vaporized Charlie’s remaining population. You could almost hear Peter Sellers, as Dr. Strangelove, ranting: “What’s the point of building a doomsday device if you don’t tell anyone about it?!” Apparently a nuclear war really is unwinnable.