I am finally beginning to realize that this Letters column is probably a waste of space on most days.

Four of the five founding members of Cretans International (not exactly as illustrated).

Today, for example, instead of letters, I present for your edification an unexpurgated transcript (with one small exception, which is that I renamed the antihero) from the files of ConsimWorld. By the time you get to the end, I trust that you will understand why this is the Cretan issue of Simulacrum.

There are currently five members of Cretans International: Brian Datta, Steve Newberg, Joe Scoleri, Markus Stumptner and myself. If you want to know how to qualify for membership, point your browser at www.consimworld.com and go to the Simulacrum folder in the Magazines section. -ed.

Some Poor Shmuck

I apologize to CSW (Consim World -ed) for pointing Marcus King to CSW.

Joe Scoleri

That’s alright, he looks better and better every time T*m C*****f (name changed to protect me -ed) posts something.

T*m C*****f

Still stalking people and shooting your mouth off behind their backs are you Scolari? How wonderfully mature of you.

Joe Scoleri

Let’s see, I’ve been posting in this folder since day one and then you come along. Who is stalking who (whom -ed) here? Also, you can’t blame me for the fact that screen. If I knew that, I certainly would have thought twice about posting “behind your back” in a folder you seemed to be reading just fine a few days ago.

T*m C*****f

Scolari you are stalking me and it has nothing to do with who was where first, that’s just childish 2 year old babbling going on with that remark - which everyone knows you’re so good at. You have repeatedly seen fit to attack me and follow me around all over this forum and everyone knows it. You can’t just let things alone, you seem forced for what ever childish reason to seek people out and start babyish fights.

Good case in point is your childish remark in the other Markets thread attributing selfish and childish remarks to another, which truth be told are merely a reflection of your own personality - if you had one. Keep it up Scolari, you only reflect badly upon yourself.

Steve Newberg

Actually T*m, as a disinterested observer, Joe is coming off fairly rational, and you are not. You might consider stopping while you are still only a little behind.

T*m C*****f

Newberg as one of the “clique” and not a disinterested observer your remarks are less than fair or rational. If you look back through the posts you will find that Scolari has once again chosen to attack me personally.

I didn’t instigate such an attack. Scolari did it out of the blue and for no reasonable purpose. His attack was simply for the purpose of being obnoxious, just as yours was. Make no mistake your remark was an attack which was not precipitated by me. I did not have any exchange with you at all and yet you saw fit to attack me.

This is exactly what I was talking about on Consim World. There is a group here who believes their shit don’t stink and that they have the right to do any damn thing they want. The inmates are running the assylum. A real disinterested observer would have noted Scolari’s personal again another unprovoked attack, with no purpose, no rhyme, or reason, just plain hate and spite. So too was your attack. Obnoxious poster? I’d label every damn one of you who thinks you can attack others freely and without any one having the right of self-defence against your malicious attacks as being obnoxious.

You simply haven’t the right to attack others. It’s that damned simple. Yet you haven’t the morals to understand that, neither you Newberg, or Scolari have the guts to admit your abiding immorality. And you even worse hold yourself as being above everyone else, what low lifes you really are!

Steve Newberg

Ah, T*m, I am not part of any group here. I think the rest of your spewing was mainly directed at Joe, but it was not really easy to tell since it seemed to change around as to whom you were addressing a couple of times during the paragraph.

And I did not call you an ‘obnoxious poster’, though you are certainly worthy of such a description at this point. If you bothered to read, you would have noticed that another poster pointed this out about you. What is it with you? This is not even a decent troll, so far as I can tell. Are you just a kid? Calm down, take a walk outside or something, and come back when you can be reasonable.

T*m C*****f

If you all go back you will find Scolari launched a gratuitous attack. Elsewhere in Consim World when he does that people have leveled criticism upon him for his childish and obnoxious behaviour.

But here when he attacks me first, it seems that is OK by you all. And it is obviously not OK for me to defend myself. Can we draw any parallels in current politics with regard to this behavior? Hmmm seems to me to be the same double standards practiced by those who are critical of Israel and support unprovoked terrorist attacks against them.

This is the same thing, an unprovoked attack by Scolari, with fellow terrorists supporting him. Why in the hell you people are blind to this simple analogy is beyond me ... you must all be (wait for it -ed) cretans.

John Kula

No, C*****f, I was born in Scotland, not Crete. Has it ever occurred to you that when you do one thing and everyone else does the opposite, that perhaps the problem is you?

T*m C*****f

Has it occured to you Kula that you are one of those who have a double standard? Is it at all possible that you and the rest of the pack would never admit to being wrong, no matter how wrong you were? Goldwater was right about Viet Nam, but he was in the minority, did it make him wrong because the idiots exceeded him in number? Just when did numbers indicate the right?

Simple concept here. Scolari leveled a gratuitious personal attack. It was entirely unprovoked.

Second simple concept here. None of you supposedly good people at all admonished him for his childish behavior.

Third simple concept, you all condone his behavior and by omission are yourselves guilty of it too.

Fourth simple concept, there exists a double standard here in which the pack of assholes are able to say as they will and no one had better defend themselves or oppose them in any way. Which of these simple concepts, that any 2 year old could grasp, are you unable to grasp Kula?

And not to single out Kula, as there are any number of idiots here who fail grasp the same concepts. Numbers don’t make right. Morals make right. It is immoral to level gratuitous, unprovoked attacks. It is immoral to ignore them and tacitly support them. Now, Kula, and the rest of the mob here, which side of the coin do you fall on? I know if you don’t!

You people simply can’t justify your acts. No manner of equivocation will make you right. Personally I’m tired of trying to teach morons right from wrong, and I leave the field to those who will follow, as undoubtedly they will, with further immoral behavior. Your tiny ego’s demand the last word, as they always have, so I leave it to you. You will be known by your demands to continue your childish and immoral diatribes.

Cretan Lyrics

Artist: Ramones
Song: Cretin Hop
Album: Loco Live

There’s no stoppin’
The cretins from hoppin’
You gotta keep it beatin’
For all the hoppin’ cretins
Cretin! Cretin!

I’m gonna go for a whirl
With my cretin girl
My feet won’t stop
Doing the cretin hop
Cretin! Cretin!

1 - 2 - 3 - 4
Cretins wanna hop some more
4 - 5 - 6 - 7
All good cretins go to heaven

Creten Maze

The Cretan maze can be drawn as a game, a kind of systematic doodle: start with a cross, four L’s and four dots as shown on the left and then join up the ends of the figure by arcs, beginning with a central pair and then always using the next two ends, one from each side. What results is a maze that can be traversed completely by a single path beginning at the outside and ending up at the center.