Yes, we have no bananas No letters either. In their place, and to fill the space I optimistically left empty to the last moment, I present one version of a ballad penned sometime around the Russo-Turkish War:

The sons of the Prophet
Are brave men and bold,
And quite unaccustomed to fear,
But the bravest by far
In the ranks of the shah,
Was Abdul Abulbul Amir.

If you wanted a man
To encourage the van
Or harass the foe from the rear,
Storm fort or redoubt,
You had only to shout
For Abdul Abulbul Amir.

Now the heroes were plenty
And well known to fame,
In the troops that were led by the Czar,
And the bravest of these
Was a man by the name
Of Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.

One day this bold Russian,
He shouldered his gun
and donned his most truculent sneer,
Downtown he did go
Where he tred on the toe
Of Abdul Abulbul Amir.

“Young man,” quote Abdul,
“Has life grown so dull
That you wish to end your career?
Vile infidel know,
You have trod on the toe
Of Abdul Abulbul Amir.

So take your last look
At the sunshine and brook
And send your regrets to the Czar,
For by this I imply,
You are going to die,
Count Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.”

Then this bold Mameluke
Drew his trusty skibouk,
Singing, “Allah! Il Allah! Al-lah!”
And with murdrous intent,
He ferociously went
For Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.

They parried and thrust,
They side-stepped and cussed,
Of blood they spilled a great part;
The philologist blokes,
Who seldom crack jokes,
Say that hash was first made on the spot.

They fought all that night
Neath the pale yellow moon;
The din, it was heard from afar,
And huge multitudes came,
So great was the fame,
Of Abdul and Ivan Skavar.

As Abdul’s long knife
Was extracting the life,
In fact he was shouting, “Huzzah!”
He felt himself struck
By that wily Calmuck,
Count Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.

The Sultan drove by
In his red-breasted fly,
Expecting the victor to cheer,
But he only drew nigh
To hear the last sigh,
Of Abdul Abulbul Amir.

There’s a tomb rises up
Where the Blue Danube rolls,
And graved there in characters clear,
Is, “Stranger, when passing,
Oh pray for the soul
Of Abdul Abulbul Amir.”

A splash in the Black Sea
One dark moonless night
Caused ripples to spread wide and far,
It was made by a sack
Fitting close to the back,
Of Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.

A Muscovite maiden,
Her lone vigil keeps,
Neath the light of the cold northern star,
And the name that she murmurs
In vain as she weeps,
Is Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.

So call me a liar

Hi John, further to your SSN data. Probably the biggest influence on the SSN design was security clearance. As examples, the values assigned the classes of vessels were mainly determined as a rounding by the generation of the vessel, rather than for differentiations of particular classes. Though production generation is certainly a major factor, there are good numbers of class-specific variations, but security obviated those. And the rounding tended to to make the generational differences very regularized.

Similarly, depth considerations were extremely simplified for security concerns. The security consideration was that any specific item had to be available in commononly accessible public documents, and I had to show them the documents. Any general item had to be easily determined from similar public information and not something that could be the conclusion of my specific back ground knowledge that might have been derived from classified sources. I could not convince them that fine differentiation in the effects of depth and temperature and salinity would be a broad conclusion without specific classified background. Considering this was 1973 or so, they were probably right, though such information would not come under similar restrictions now.

I think the main thing that I did get by was the entire concept that radiated noise levels and the ability to use intercepted sound were the central concepts of SW/ASW at the time, often overwhelming the specifics of particular weapons and the other characteristics of their platforms. I do not think this was common knowledge at the time, but I did manage to convince the security people that such conclusions were easily made from the available data.

Please feel free to use any or all of the above for your article. None of it is of any security concern any more. pax, smn

If you’ve read this letter from Stephen Newberg, please put up your hand. We will be around to kill you shortly -ed.

Hit the Beach This game (cf. page 22 -ed) was also copyright a German company (manufactured under license from Otto Maier Verlag Ravensburg, © 1965) because the mechanics of displacing a Japanese unit to have a negative effect on your opponents are based on a German game. The game name is Das Malefizspiel, and many variations on it have been released over the years. Mine is by Ravensburger, and was the only Letters continued from page 5 thing I have ever bought at the thrift store where Jenkins Surplus was.
Brian Train

If you have to ask, you can’t afford them

Here are some items to start with and we’ll see how this goes:

Palace of the Vampire Queen (Wee Warriors, distributed by TSR, 1976) - labeled 1st printing, but technically this is the 3rd printing with the yellow cover sheet (first time I have ever seen one). This is the first module ever made for any RPG period! Near mint to mint condition never used. $999.95

Dwarven Glory (Wee Warriors, 1976) - this is the super rare 1st printing with yellow cover sheet, loose maps and bound adventure booklet. According to the TSR Game Buyer’s Guide (1985) this was distributed by TSR. Near mint to mint condition never used. $899.95

ST1 - Up the Garden Path -distributed and made by TSR UK for a special convention in the mid 1980’s; official D&D module, most were destroyed; in my opinion the rarest and most valuable gaming item in existence ... this has been in my collection for years. Excellent condition, never used. Inquire.

Lost Shrine of Tamoachan -Numbered limited convention edition, obscure, mentioned only in hushed tones; unique cover by Erol Otus; pages came looseleaf; amazingly all are present and unused; only 300 ever made, most destroyed. Excellent condition. $1250.00

Ghost Tower of Inverness -Numbered limited convention edition, sister module to Lost Tamoachan, also with a unique cover by Erol Otus; pages came looseleaf, and again amazingly all are present and unused; only 300 ever made, most destroyed. Excellent condition. $1200.00

B3 - Palace of the Silver Princess - orange/banned version; recalled super rare banned version of the D&D module; fair condition, creased, well used, great chance to finally see this very infamous module. $499.95

H1 - Bloodstone Pass - Excellent in shrinkwrap. $349.95

Jim Roslof original color cover painting for C2 The Ghost Tower of Inverness (red color module version); yes this is the original painting from the famous module; own a piece of TSR history, framed and matted ready to be hung above your desk, mint condition. $1500.00 (sounds low)

Jeff Easley - Legends & Lore original color cover painting for this 1st edition AD&D hardcover book! Absolutely stunning work, one of a kind. An original Easley! I can’t even begin to mention its historic value and collectibility. Mint condition. $2500.00 from recent Noble Knights catalog

I suppose I could then apply for a Canada Council grant

Do you have any interest in changing the journal’s name a little, to Simulacrum: Journal of Board Wargaming and Gaming Culture.

name withheld by discretion

If I may be so bold, prose by any other name would sound as sweet. Our name sets out some general parameters, and my reputation sets out others that are more specific. Where there’s a potential for conflict, I can nudge the parameters slightly, this way or that, and come out smelling of proses. You get my drift. The difficulty with adopting a more specific name, particularly one that includes the concept of ‘culture’, is that those who aren’t frightened by it (you can lead a horticulture but you can’t make her think) will likely be offended by it (oh, oh, oh; no more butter scones for me, Mater, I’m off to play the grand piano). Or think it has something to do with nudist activities. The advantage of the current name is that I can lull people into a false sense of familiarity, comfort and security, while all the time playing subliminal, mind-altering messages. And then, when the time is ripe and the big day comes, I can instruct them all to rise up as one and wrest control of the closest gamestore from the greedy claws of the capitalistic middle men, turn their Xacto knives against them, and liberate their counters -ed.