When is a game not a game? A Fistful of Turkeys is a game, or at least it calls itself a game: “Congratulations! You have shown extremely good taste by picking up this game [sic]...” In fact, it also calls itself, and I quote: “[a] remarkably well-balanced and historically accurate simulation”.

I see no reason to defy that fundamental principle of poker, that the cards speak for themselves. We may call this thing anything we want, but it calls itself a game, and so it is a game. A Fistful of Turkeys goes to great pains to hide its provenance: designed, developed, etc., by Some Turkey and published by Some Turkey Games. But word on the street is that it seems to have been designed by H. Thompson and published in 1981 by Metagaming Concepts.

This game consists of one piece of glossy paper, 16”x21”, folded into twelve panels and presented in a small plastic envelope. The game is B&W printed on both sides of the paper, so there are a total of 24 panels:

Summary
1 cover
1 credits and index
12 the rules
2 the map
1 the counters (all 42 of them)
1 charts & tables 6 ad copy and general bullshit

Summary

Players: 2 (or more, I suppose)
Playing Time 1 hour tops
Turns: 10
Map: about 3 feet per hex
Units: individual human and turkeys

Player’s Value

There is nothing particularly unique or interesting about the game mechanics, being a simple Igo-Ugo sequence. The human must dispatch a few turkeys, allow no turkeys to escape, and exit the coop to win. The human has a number of different weapons including a one-shot shotgun (called Ahab), two hands and two feet, whereas the turkeys can peck the human to death if they get close enough. There are no ZOCs.

Chrome includes hidden and dummy guano patches [minefields], low ceilings and shotgun recoil.

The game could be played, I suppose, but to what end? As a piece of satire, it’s a bit sophomoric and doesn’t take long to start grating on one’s nerves. Not even a beer and pretzels game, this is more of a freezie and gummibear game.

References

Some commentary about A Fistful of Turkeys appeared in Space Gamer 41 and Interplay 3.

Collector’s Value

Boone does not list this game. My copy came with a price sticker of $1.95, but there’s no way of knowing whether that was the original price or a much later get-it-outta-here tag.

Let’s be honest here. A Fistful of Turkeys is not a board wargame by any stretch of the imagination. It’s a spoof, a lampoon, a vanity publication, and a very simple and uncomplicated one at that. But having said that, it is without doubt an interesting and inexpensive bit of gaming ephemera and, as such, is emminently collectible.

Other Games by H. Thompson
Stellar Conquest (1975)
Chitin:I (1977)
Warp War (1977)
Treasure of the Silver Dragon (1980)
Treasure of Unicorn Gold (1981)
Starleader: Assault! (1982) all by Metagaming Concept, and
Stellar Conquest (1984) by Avalon Hill

Other Games of this Type
Watch this space.