There’s no better time to review one’s accomplishments than with the start of Volume 3. Except for maybe the final issue, where you need to remind everyone that although they’re being fleeced of their subscription money, it was for a very worthy cause.

Speaking of the Wild West, it behooves us to print a photograph of Simulacrum’s Number One Copy Boy astride his faithful steed Sopwith, prior to his trip to the printing plant to requisition another quire of paper and have a spot of tea. Would that be one hump or two?

And of course there’s the 100th issue, where you need to pat yourself on the back because nobody else has noticed or bothered to contact you about beating the odds. And let’s not forget the 42nd issue, where you have to let people know that there is a universal question and that it does have a universal answer. Or the seventh volume, where lip service must be paid to the notion that there is something magical about the prime number that occurs between six and eight. Come to think of it, there are lots of better times, any one of which is superior to the start of the third volume.

Well I made a bollocks of that beginning. It seems like years since Jim Werbaneth warmly welcomed Simulacrum to the world of self-published wargame magazines, and gave us a very positive and most welcome review. The recent arrival of issue 35 of his excellent war gaming quarterly, Line of Departure, is an opportunity for me to return the favor. By the time you get to the end of this paragraph, you will know that Jim Werbaneth is a deservedly well-respected member of the grognard community, a prolific and profound writer, designer (Inchon: MacArthur’s Gambit; and Britain Stands Alone), editor, publisher, and general bon vivant of the wargaming world. He writes in depth, his research is impeccable, his style matter-of-fact without being patronizing, his judgements invariably honest but not brutally so. If you don’t know his body of work, you should remedy this.

Line of Departure (LoD) is a quarterly wargaming magazine geared towards any games but specializing in the more recent board wargames. In addition, LoD has been dealing with computer war game simulations, and has recaptured my interest, which flagged quickly after being captivated by V for Victory’s Market Garden and Atomic Games’ Operation Crusader. It’s always a delight to receive LoD. To get your own, please see the advertisement on page 46.

Talking about bollocks, issue 8 had an article by John Nebauer. Actually it was written by John’s younger, smarter and handsomer brother Frank. I’m starting to understand how reputations are made, and how extremely difficult it is to find a consistently competent editor. Now if only I, too, had a younger, smarter and handsomer brother, Frank.

Well, as long as I’m in this mode I may as well be ahem frank and confess to everything. Other problems appeared in issue 8, to wit, the mistaken notion that GDW published Dien Bien Phu. And of course, not being one to go about things in a half-baked manner, I repeated the mistake, only in a much louder voice. Deja vu all over again. I attribute this to a surfeit of phlogiston.

On the other hand, my computer has been cooperating exceedingly well recently, despite some exceptional demands put on it. Included in these was a switch to an ADSL internet service provider, with the concomitant moments of horror (why did I do this?), flashes of panic (where are my address book and bookmarks?) and change in email address (kula@telus.net). The more observant among you might attribute this newly acquired affinity for inanimate objects to my Polish origins. At the moment, it appears likely that issue 10 (January 2001) will contain the profile of Simulations Canada games. It also appears likely that the profile will take up virtually the entire issue, as SimCan produced a total of 36 board wargames. I’m delighted with the progress that’s being made. The amount of research and assistance being offered and contributed is most gratifying, and should make this profile the definitive guide to Simulations Canada.

If you have an uncomfortable feeling that something about Simulacrum has changed, but you don’t know quite what, don’t worry ... it’s not time to put on The Tinfoil Hat™. In an effort to look less like a Wild West poster, I’ve reduced the number of fonts and minimized the use of some of the wilder typefaces. I was given to understand, in no uncertain terms, that it was either that or include a bottle of Gravol with each copy. You will no doubt understand and appreciate my choice.

It is pleasant to be relieved of theological terrors, to enjoy without qualm the pleasures that harm neither others nor ourselves, and to feel the tang of the open air upon our liberated flesh.”.