Safe Driver

A driver was stopped by a Texas State Trooper and was told he had won a prize for being the safest driver the Trooper had seen in many years. The Trooper asked how he would spend the $5,000 prize money. The man said that he’d probably get a license now.

His wife said: “He’s always funny when he’s drunk.”

A man in the back seat woke up an, seeing the police car, said: “I told you we wouldn’t get far in a stolen car!”

Then there was a knock from the truck and a Spanish voice said: “Are we across the border yet?”

Airline Humor

Recently, after a rather rough landing, the stewardess came on the intercom and said:
“We ask you to please remain in your seat as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”