The new Ensign was assigned to the submarines, where he had dreamed of being since he was a young boy. He was trying to impress the CoB with his expertise learned in Submarine School but the Chief of the Boat put him off quickly and said;

"Listen Sir. It's real simple. You add the number of tlmes we dive to the number of times we surface. Divide that number by two. If the result doesn't come out even, you really shouldn't open the hatch.'