My wife does not game. Not that I've tried to get her to play, mind you. She just flat out doesn't game. Oh sure, when we we're dating, she did the "good girlfriend" thing and let me teach her how to play Battletech, and AD&D, but it never really caught on with her. Though she did seem to like role-playing better than the fun task of blowing things up. Why this was so, I never figured out.

My wife's always been the kind of woman that would rather see Independence Day than, say, The Piano. But the point to all this is that she didn't like gaming. That wasn't really a problem when we were just going out, as it didn't cut into my gaming time. I only saw her three to five days a week, and for a few hours at a time. The rest of the time was wide open to play games. Study during college you say? Surely you are joking...

Then I got married.

People always said that everything changes once you get married. That was never more obvious than when I tried to maintain my regular gaming schedule.

"You're going where, again?" She'd ask.

"To play games. There's nothing going on here." I'd answer back like an idiot.

I would try to convince her that this was "my night with the boys" or "poker night," but that never really worked. Nor would the excuse that it could be worse with me carousing at the bars.

Suddenly the woman I married has become, in one small aspect, the Enemy.

This could not be. Come between a man and his games? No, sit! Not ever! This wouldn't last. I was sure it was just a phase. Well, apparently some phases last a long time. And if I thought I had a hard time explaining to my friends I couldn't play games because I had a fate, imaging trying to explain to them that I couldn't play games because my wife and I were going to stay home and do... nothing. It's not easy.

So my gaming time became restricted quite a bit, but I would not be beaten. I would figure out some way to make everything Good and Right once again. I would rescue those rulebooks that sat on my shelves, crying out for someone to stuff them in a backpack, take them for a ride, and roll dice on their soft covers. Once again I would feel the fine texture of a D20 rolling over my fingers. I would win.

It took some time (and numerous arguments most of which I lost), but eventually the key to my success came before my eyes.

Diplomacy.

My wife made me a master at it. I was able to make deals and compromises in minutes. I would squeeze out extra time with the wife during the early parts of the week, then use it as a bargaining chip for gaming later on. I would plan my moves weeks in advance. Arrange a great date on one weekend, and the next spend playing games. It was like a chess master, plotting several moves ahead, with my opponent suspecting little of my motives.

And I got pretty good at it. For quite some time, I was playing games twice a week. Not bad, I thought.

Then I began to realize something. My role-playing has also improved. My creativity as a GM had expanded, and I was really coming up with some good ideas to keep my players interested and entertained. I even seemed to enjoy gaming more. And my characters slowly because really good negotiators. The restricted gaming time that I had, forced me to squeeze more quality time out of the smaller quantity. To coin a business phrase, I played smarter, not harder. Sure, I felt pangs of guilt as I would stare at the unplayed games on my shelf. The sad looks on their covers as they yearned for someone to leaf through their pages. But, I was really enjoying the games I was playing.

And I had my wife to thank for it. And respect for it. And love for it.

The person I had viewed as my enemy when it came to gaming, someone who didn't even really like or get into role-playing, someone who didn't understand the perverse pleasure in rolling a fistful of D6's while playing Shadowrun, had in a way taught me how to enjoy my hobby that much more.

She was a genius. Still is.

Does this mean that I advocate playing games once a week?

Hell, no! Pass the dice and grab the chip and pop, I've got a dragon to slay...