10 - YOU REALLY CAN'T FIT 200 PEOPLE INTO A RAMADA SINGLE.

9 - ACCORDIONS AND RENAISSANCE BANDS SHOULD BE MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE.

8 - WHACKING THE TOWEL DISPENSERS WITH YOUR REPLICA PLYWOOD-AND-FOAM SWORD IS A GOOD WAY TO GET HURT.

7 - CARS WILL NOT STOP IF YOU SHOUT "HALT, EVILDOER!"

6 - "THE GOOD MECH LOLLIPOP WILL NOT IMPRESS THE FASA PEOPLE.

5 - THE FULLY FUNCTIONAL PHASER YOU'VE BEEN TINKERING WITH SHOULD BE LEFT AT HOME.

4 -BRIAN SNODDY DOES NOT THINK HIS NAME IS FUNNY.

3 - CONSTANTLY QUOTING MONTY PYTHON WILL NOT IMPROVE KENZER'S SALES.

2 - BRETT FAVRE JOKES DO NOT GO OVER WELL WITH THE LOCALS.

AND THE # 1 THING:

1 - MAGIC CARDS CANNOT BE CONSUMED FOR SUSTENANCE.