Yes, friends, here's one to sort out the best player, best army, best scale, best rules, best bits of green felt -- a competition for manly men in a man's world. Ho yes...

SCALE 15mm and 25mm, together, in any combination. These are the only competition ancient scales. 6mm players are, as we all know, communist agitators to a man.

RULES: WRG Ancients editions 1 through 7. A great pile of these shuffled by the umpire and handled out at random. When sets do not agree on a given point, the player to shout the loudest gets his way. A few copies of TACTICA, (That does it, I'm not playing! - ED.) SHOCK of IMPACT and NEWBURY EXTRA-SLOW PLAY RULES will be included for extra confusion.

ARMY LISTS: as featured in Spearpoint, Sorepoint and Nopoint will be issued, as will players own selected army lists, shopping lists, laundry lists, etc. There will be no maximums for Irregular Fanatic Scythed El (Not on Tuesdays or during a full or partial eclipse) of any kind. Sorry, Phil helped me with that last sentence.

ARMY SIZE: What the hell. Bring all you've got. (Gary Comardo will like this ideal -ED) Victory goes to the big battalions, etc. Napoleonic figures, garden gnomes, lawn jockeys etc. may be used as long as you opponent doesn't object. Which leads us to...

UMPIRES: serve solely to ensure that actual bloodshed between players is restricted to their own table. Rules disputes will be decided by "No-Holds-Barred" approach to adjudication.

RULES MODIFIERS: are generally as follows. 15mm troops move half as fast as 25 mm, but evading LI can hide between their pursuers legs. Missile fire is halved against 15mm, except by slingers, who roll stones like marbles. A 25mm cavalryman can transport 4 15mm figures swinging from the tail of his horse at no penalty, while figures with pockets, cloaks, etc. can each carry 1d6x15mm figures. Detailed rules modifications for combat will be made up as the game goes on, but in general, 25mm infantry will be very afraid of the angle which a 15mm pikeman approaches their unshielded personal zones. 15mm Elephants count as War Dogs, 15mm War Dogs as "War Hamsters".

SYSTEM: Flour round knock-out with lots of Swiss Cheese and no gouging of spitting in the clinches. Last man up wins.

PRIZES: 6 yards of best green felt to the winner! Awesome, man! A special 1-800 number has been laid on to Phil Barker's house for rules clarifications during the hours Midnight-5 A.M. Greenwich Mean Time only. Phil has not been made aware of this arrangement, but we cannot imagine that he would disapprove....