I, General DeWitt, a veteran of thousands of battles and part-time military historian, had just arrived at my new command in the Union Army. How ill-prepared I was for the surprises which lay ahead, and naive to the manner of battles in this new command.
While I dined and became reacquainted with fellow commander, General Haub, the troops deployed and prepared for battle. General Haub and I then rushed to the battlefield to discover a General Simon, known as "The Lion", already at his command. He described the upcoming battle against the rebels as an "even fight" and then mumbled something that I thought included "...inverse pip theory...", but General Haub and I paid far too little attention to these mumblings.
My command was in the center and the neighboring commands were: General Haub to my right and the Lion to my Left. Generals Hurst, Figlia, and Shirey commanded the Confederacy.
Quickly surveying the heavily wooded battlefield, I discovered what appeared to be a weakness in the Confederate deployment. Their flanks were very strong with a weak center position while the Union command was fairly evenly distributed.
I called for a short council of war. The Lion was tardy, so General Haub and I discussed shifting the majority of my center command toward one flank, thus engaging one-half the Confederate army with two-thirds of our army. The opposite flank would assume a defensive posture and detain the Confederates until the full weight of the Union forces could be swung back to bear on them.
The Lion's flank was heavily wooded with a fortified town near his starting position, making it the obvious choice for a defensive battle. A simple yet elegant plan, and General Haub and I felt confident the Lion would embrace it fully upon his arrival. We could not have been more in error.
The Lion's attendance at our meeting was brief and to the point. Before we could outline our suggested battle plan, he informed us he was using the "Universal Battle Plan" and suggested we do likewise. Respecting the Lion's seniority in light of my own ignorance in this matter, I inquired as to what exactly was this "Universal Battle Plan"? He summarized thusly: "Kill the enemy where they are!"
"You must be unfamiliar with battles in these parts, as the troops can not be held back!" he continued. Finally he added, "The "Universal Battle Plan" is the only sensible thing to do." With these words, he quickly left our council, muttering something about "...inverse pip theory, you know...". General Haub and I stood in silence, suddenly shattered by the sound of advancing Confederates.
Not knowing what else to do or say, and with no time for debate, we decided to stay with our original battle plan and let the Lion fend for himself. Quickly we returned to our commands.
My first hour command dice-rolls were good, which enabled me to command all the brigades in my two divisions except one (there was a 67$ chance some unit in each division was uncontrolled). To my surprise, the uncontrolled brigade hurriedly formed line and streaked ahead of my road column.
[Editor's note)... Although Brian doesn't detail the mechanics of what was going on, he does refer to his "command dice-rolls". These dice throws were instituted by each division commander each turn to see if he lost control of any of the brigades within the division. If he did lose control, the concerned units would first deploy into line of battle, and dash madly ahead, seeking contact with the enemy.
A messenger arrived from the Lion's camp informing me that the roads were no good in these parts and one might as well ignore them.
Looking to my right, General Haub had lost control of half of his cavalry and they, too, were streaking ahead straight towards the enemy. In fact, surveying the battlefield revealed that all of the uncontrolled units were streaking straight for the enemy, berserker style!
The second hour, I headed toward the uncontrolled brigade determined to keep my command together and move toward the right. However, while I regained command of the lead brigade, a number of units in the rear were now out of command and they rapidly formed line (400$ faster than controlled units) and rushed ahead... having increased their speed by 66$ when uncontrolled. Additionally, these units ignore all adverse terrain impediments when uncontrolled.
I made a mental note that in this new command, the quickest way to get units into combat was to undoubtedly ignore them. As soon as the General showed up, the troops went dog-footed. Turn your back to them for one second and those crazy, battle-starved fellows would leave works or entrenchments behind, and head full-throtle towards the enemy.
If a General actually had to make a rest stop during a battle, his command would be long gone, having run off to attack the enemy.
I began to wonder what would happen in combat? Certainly, units would be inspired seeing the General with them leading them into battle. Certainly.
Some of my fundamental assumptions, however, were already being shaken in this new command. Could it be possible that units would go impotent having their General with them in combat? I would soon find out.
The first wave of uncontrolled, berserker-style Confederates rushed through the woods, unimpeded, and struck my lead units. I was able to bring in a second line of troops as support against the single line of Confederates, and it was a good thing, because those uncontrolled troops fought tooth and nail, hell-bent on my destruction.
Sure enough, having a leader, the General, with you in melee was of little benefit. The only benefit was allowing a General to bring in a supporting unit about 80% of the time during a pre-melee phase. The support was definitely needed because, once again, those berserker-style fellows got a 50% increase in combat value for being uncontrolled!
Losses were heavy because having a supporting unit doubled one's casualties, but the weight of numbers finally determined the melee in my favor. The Confederates were routed back, and it was at this moment I realized I was in store for further wonders!
The defeated Confederates moved back and immediately formed in a column heading straight back towards me! No rally required; they were not even disorganized! Those Confederates had obviously stolen the Universal Battle Plan and were using it against us!
Each side did have a "Rally Zone" to the rear. Casualties were placed there and, at the end of each hour, an attempt was made to bring them back into the combat formations on the field.
The sun was not shining on the Union Rally Zone, as Saint Peter seemed, to be camped right inside the Union zone waiting to grant entrance through the Pearly Gates to all Union casualties.
[Editor's note]... The reference to the Rally Zone is to an offtable zone wherein all temporary casualties were dumped. Then, at the end of each turn, the commanders of both sides diced to see how many of these fellows were actually killed, and how many could return to the field. Unfortunately for the Union, all our rally dice throws seemed to result in dead Yankees.
There was one early group of Union casualties that returned to the battle and were quickly added to General Haub's and my weak regiments. Shortly after this, we heard from the Lion who demanded that the next group of returning soldiers be placed under his command. "By the way," we inquired, "How is your Universal Battle Plan working, General Simon?"
He stated "... many enemy troops ...heavy losses ...artillery went uncontrolled..."
We all concurred that the next group of recovered stands would be placed under General Simon's command.
About this time is when the Lion snatched the rules book, our Battle Manual, from my hands and crumpled it up over a point-blankfire dispute, but that is another tale.
[Editor's note]... Yes, I must interfere with Brian's report for a third time. Yes, in the heat of battle, in a fit of pique (a small, minor, insubstantial, insignificant, teeny-tiny fit of pique), I may have torn the Battle Manual from Brian's hands. Yes, I may have crumpled up Brian's copy and tossed it away. I, of course have no positive recollection of this. It should be noted that in the stress of battle, under continual fire from Confederate shot and shell, hearing the pitiful cries of the wounded and maimed, men's memories may play tricks on them. It well may be that Brian's memory is so afflicted, and so, I forgive the lad for qiving credence to such a preposterous story.
It was about three hours later that another group of stands managed to elude Saint Peter and rally. Just a few precious moments before, the Lion's command had been wiped out to the man. The Universal Battle Plan did not guarantee victory after-all.
General Haub and Z were left to deal with the Confederates ourselves.
The time had come for some Yankee ingenuity. If we could just get the brigades to line-up against some weak spots in the Confederate left flank and then we Generals were to turn our backs on the troops... it worked!
Almost the entire Union line took off on a mad, uncontrolled charge toward the enemy... all we have to do is sit back and watch. Us Generals just slow down them troops.
We managed to win many melees, driving the Confederates back with substantial casualties and were close to breaking two divisions. Finally, with one last great effort, the Confederates managed to win a round of melees and avoid breaking. Union losses were too high and St. Peter was blocking all Rally Zone escape routes again. The Union command conceded defeat.
Afterword
Inverse Pip Theory (IPT) articles have appeared in the PW REVIEW over the last six months, predominantly authored by the editor. Rather than the conventional concept of uncontrolled units sitting around doing nothing, IPT has them advancing into battle. While this is an interesting and applicable concept for some periods, it has no place in American Civil War battles. Some better periods would include the Dark Ages, barbarian battles, or French Medieval. The previous IPT game in which I participated, prior to the ACW battle described above, was a Napoleonic battle. IPT has no place in Napoleonic wargames either. At least in the Napoleonic games, the units did not become superhuman when out of command. It took this second game, which elevated IPT to new heights, to force me to write this counter-IPT article.
The editor has used the phrase "recognizable patternry for the era" when evaluating others' rules. This American Civil War battle contained numerous examples of what I call "unrecognizable patternry for the era" and a few examples of "unrecognizable patternry for any era".
Putting aside any issue of historical simulation and looking solely at the question: do the rules make an interesting game?... we see a game that leaves little room for the players to do anything but roll the dice and push figures in predetermined directions.
The inability to implement a strategy as simple as "hold the fort" in these rules illustrates the deficiency. Truly interesting games have a wealth of different strategies and tactics available to the players with each having different strengths and weaknesses.
Finally, about 20 years ago, SPI put out a game on the 1967 Arab-Israeli war wherein 40 percent of the Arab units went uncontrolled each turn. Instead of advancing, uncontrolled units made a full move to the rear on their turn. Is this an example of "Reverse Inverse Pip Theory"?
[Editor's note]... Egad! Why didn't I think of Reverse Inverse Pip Theory myself?? What a clever idea! I shall incorporate the theory in my next set of rules.
Our IPT battles have revealed a plethora of shortcomings in the general application of the rules system. For example, in the last part of Brian's article, he refers to the inability to "hold the fort", meaning that troops placed in a strongpoint had a tendency to leave their position and advance in uncontrolled fashion when indiscriminately subjected to the IPT system. An exception to this situation was worked out, as will be others.
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