1. Hal Thinglum's Midwest Wargamer's Association Newsletter (MWAN) for Sept/Oct arrived, and once again, it was full of juicy tidbits, in particular, the WRG-versus-TACTICA controversy. The pages of MWAN have been full of slanderous sayings as the advocates of both sets of ancients rules have at each other. And I remain fascinated by the comments, each side striking out for the historical accuracy and realistic simulation that its rules provide.
Terry Gore started the whole thing an issue or so ago, lambasting the TACTICA rules-set, and its advocates promptly rose to the occasion. In rebuttal, in the current issue, Terry, defending his position that TACTICA does not present "an historical approach to ancient wargaming", proves his point by referencing a battle which could not be re-created by the TACTICA rules, an encounter fought in 109 BC.
Terry says that he went to his bookshelf, and "pulled out the first book that caught my eye" ... and get this, you guys... it just happened to be Salust's ever-popular JURGATHINE WAR, a New York Times best-seller if there ever was one. And voila!, the very first battle listed, says Terry, was one fought in 109 BC, one which the TACTICA rules could not reproduce. Quad erat demonstratum.
I must mention that when I went to My bookshelf, JURGATHINE WAR was missing... someone must have borrowed it. I usually keep it right beside THE CAT IN THE HAT. I note, however, that in discussing this with Scott Holder, our PW/WRG man-on-the- spot, Scott indicated that he had a copy of Salust's epic on his shelf. But I digress.
What makes MWAN interesting is that each author makes quasi-nasty remarks about the opposition, and although everyone is fairly gentlemanly at first, pretty soon the pot begins to boil and the venom to flow. Then Editor Thinglum will step in, commenting that he really wants his readers to express their opinions without such expression "resulting in personal attacks."
Whatever. This sort of thing goes on and on in MWAN. Sometime ago, the topic was the recruitment of fantasy gamers, and then it switched to "black wargames", and now it's WRG-versus-TACTICA.
2. saw a science fiction movie the other day which gave me a great idea for HMGS. There were future-people from a fairly dismal future- earth who kept going back into the past to try and salvage something for the good of mankind. The future-people were governed by a Council of Elders, i.e., a Board of Directors, who were each about two million years old, kept alive in large, upright, transparent tubes; lots of exposed brain tissue, complete with sensors and fluids and life-support systems, etc.
The encased Council members were completely inert and immobile; reminded me of the HMGS Directors.
At the end of the movie, the future-people flubbed-de-dub and caused a time paradox, which blew lem all up. As their futurebase was blowing up and exploding all around them, and the Elders saw the end was coming, the Head Elder said, in very dignified fashion, "I move we adjourn." A classy exit line.
As soon as she said this... BOOM! POW! BLASTO! WHAMMO! ... the glass tubes and the Elders and the entire movie set-blew up simultaneously. As is expressed in the current vernacular, they blowed up real good!
My thought is that at the next HMGS meeting, President Dick Sossi end the meeting in just this manner. He solemnly announces, "The meeting is adjourned", and BOOM! POW! BLASTO! WHAMMO! ... the entire Board of Directors blows up!
Even if the Board does nothing else... at the least they will be remembered in the hobby literature, memorialized forever as the Board that "blowed up real good!".
3.There was a recent flurry about a proposed piece of federal legislation which would ban the production and sale of toy soldiers with more than a 0.1 percent content of lead. Perhaps it was 1 percent, but in either case, I didn't understand the prescribed limit... why not go all the way to zero if you're pushing against an awesome environmental hazard? On my street alone, each morning I trip over the bodies of at least a half dozen people who, during the night, died from chewing on little lead figures.
HMGS President Sossi says not to worry; he went to "the Hill" and saw the congressional legislative aide who is preparing the bill. Somehow, says Sossi, we... that is, the hobby... are getting an exemption of sorts. Miniatures that are produced for "adult use" will be exempted from the ban. I have to admit that I don't understand this either. What I do know, however, is that once the pitbull environmentalists sink their teeth into an issue, they won't give up. Which means that I'm not as certain as President Sossi that we're out of the woods.
4.The HMGS Newsletter arrived: the September 1990 issue, which was pleasantly on time. Pat Condray, Mr. Editor, gave us an excellent rundown of HMGS happenings. The Newsletter arrival was in conjunction with a fairly timely After-Action Report on the July HISTORICON, which had appeared around a week earlier. Gad, but we're getting efficient!
On page 6 of the Newsletter, Pat reported on the latest activities of HMGS "going national". He noted, in passing, that representatives of HMGS groups from the east, the west, the north, and the south, had met at HISTORICON "to discuss organizational matters". And then he noted, rather briefly, that there was to be a follow-on meeting in mid-October in Annapolis "at HMGS east expense (facilities only)".
This last cryptic remark, when translated, means that HMGS is picking up the hotel tab for the various out-of-state HMGS representatives flying into Annapolis. That, plus a couple of luncheons and dinners for the assembled group. President Sossi's local Board of Directors had the good sense to balk at paying for the airfare of the attendees... that's why Pat inserted the phrase "facilities only" in his summary.
The total outlay will, most probably, be fairly reasonable... much less than a thousand dollars... but the news did cause one very unconcerned HMGS member to remark, in effect: "The Board has been looking for something on which to spend its $30,000 treasury; they finally decided to spend it on themselves!" obviously, a narrow minded viewpoint... but it may represent the view of a major portion of the HMGS constituency. Let it be known from the outset, by the way, that the name of this extremely unconcerned member was NOT Simon...
5.Young Simon had other concerns... his name was bandied about in the Condray/HMGS publication; his comments on the simple joys and mechanics of dice throwing were taken as a series of invidious, unforgiveable slurs and insults on the entire historical miniatures hobby.
Gee whiz, fellas, all I had said... at least, I thought I had said... was that, in being introduced to table top gaming, a nine year old kiddy could care less if you told him that (a) Napoleon's Old Guard had a 70 percent chance to whip the Spanish militia, or (b) the Zgorbliminian Assault Troopers had the same 70 percent chance to bash the defending troops on the planet Grombolia. In short, the kid is being introduced to miniatures gaming, and all the kid knows is that he's enjoying himself, he's having a good time pushing figures around the table, and he's tossing dice to see if his man can knock off one of the bad guys.
For some reason, this set Bob Coggins aflame and atwitter. Eyes blazing, hair on fire, smoke issuing forth from at least one of his nostrils, he wrote to the REVIEW, commenting on my comments, and took off on the "breakdown of discipline in the educational curriculum", on the need for "the study, if not the understanding, of history", and on the "current educational values" - or lack of them - being taught in the school system. In reading his piece, one got the impression that he was running for a position on the Board of Education.
Pat Condray, obviously looking for filler, decided to republish the Bob Coggins commentary in this latest HMGS Newsletter, remarking on my "disingenuous reflections". Not satisfied with that, he scandalously portrayed my rules sets as being based on fantasy, intimating that I played down the need to base them on, to use Pat's terminology, "historical scholarship". And as a finale, Pat then capped Coggins' piece with a capitalized "BRAVO BOB!" as if, together, they had saved all humanity and destroyed The Great Satan himself! And I had thought Sadam Hussein was the current bad guy!
If this keeps up, I'm going to have to call in the Zgorbliminian Assault Troopers for a quick, surgical strike on HMGS Headquarters. Taking out the Board of Directors, softies all, should be fairly easy... an historically realistic dice throw of, say, 01 to 99 should do it.
6.And while we're beating on a dead dog, one last word. I quibble not with the need for the study of history in ginning up a set of rules. Neither do I quibble with the fact that a wee bit of study will reveal that Napoleon's Old Guard can lick the Spanish militia and the rules should reflect this.
I do, however, quibble with the fella who very authoritatively states in his published rules - based, of course, on his intensive historical research - that the old Guard will whip the Spanish militia on a throw of 1 through 7 on a 10-sided die. I do this because there's another fella, just around the corner, who, based on his intensive research, tells me that the Old Guard will win on a throw of 1 through 8. And there's yet another guy - yes, more historical research - who advocates a throw of 1 through 9.
This is the very reason that I confine my comments, when looking at rules sets, to the gaming procedures. I've read the history books, yet I have no idea if "1 through 7", or "1 through 8", etc., truly reflects the ability of the Old Guard to whomp the poor, undernourished Spanish militia. All I know is that, statistically, the Old Guard should come out on top "most of the time", and if the rules reflect this, more power to them. I can only stand back and admire those in the hobby, who, based on their intensive historical research, know exactly what the absolute values should be.
7.The leadoff article in this issue was submitted by Don Featherstone. It is a tribute to his son, Peter, who was killed in August of this year. Don's letter stated that he has asked the editors of several of the leading wargaming publications to publish the piece, and all have replied in the affirmative.
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© Copyright 1990 Wally Simon
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