Some Saturdays ago, our group completed an ARMOR FIVE game around 10:30 at night and most of the ensemble went home... only two diehards, Scott Holder and Jeff Wiltrout, remained. The ARMOR FIVE scenario had gone astray. In truth, it was composed of two test games with a specific purpose. I had ginned up a campaign in which one side, the dreaded Xanadugians, surges into the neighboring country of Yucca with a number of fairly large armored forces. The Yuccans, never big with the defense budget, at the outset only have a limited number of much smaller forces. The initial battles, therefore, are one-sided affairs ... over 200 Xanadugian army points versus around 90 Yuccan ... with the Xanadugians expected to win. The objective is for the outnumbered Yuccans to gradually whittle down the advancing Xanadugians. As the Xanadugians penetrate deeper into Yuccan territory, both sides receive army points each campaign turn; the Yuccans receive slightly more - so that they can build up their forces more rapidly than the Xanadugians. Eventually, if all goes well, and the point system is balanced, the forces will equalize. In our first test game, 200 Xanadugian points quickly defeated 80 or so Yuccan. Victory came when 40 percent (32 points) of the Yuccan force were destroyed; at this stage, the Yuccans had a 50% chance to flee the field. They threw their dice, and off they ran. The battle was over in about 30 minutes. All present thought the battle was too short. Brian Dewitt suggested we "up" the Yuccans' points to 100; we did so and accordingly increased the number of defending Yuccan tanks. A longer battle ensued, and the Yuccans, through luck or skill, bashed the opposing invaders... the Yuccans still lost, but they made quite a hole in the Xanadugian point total. All the participants thought this was a "better" battle. All, that is, except me... I decided I really didn't want a "better" battle... I wanted the Xanadugians to swamp the Yuccans rapidly... a series of "quickie", uneven battles until the points of both sides balanced out, at which time, the longer, more even battles would be fought. Whatever, during the game I noted that Bob Hurst expressed dissatisfaction with the goings-on. He was a Xanadugian commander... later, he told me he wasn't feeling well and wasn't up to snuff... I think his variable rate mortgage had just been adjusted upwards ... but that was later. Fred Haub blew up one of Bob's heavy tanks, and demolished several of his halftracks. That, plus the fact that the Xanadugian command unit got caught in the open, was pinned, and was pounded into nothingness by the Yuccan mortar teams. That, plus the fact that I didn't toss in a range-sensitive accuracy factor for the mortar. That, plus the fact that Yuccan anti- tank gun units were undervalued (they cost little, and did disproportionate damage to their cost). All this did not add to Bob's happiness factor. But let's leave ARMOR FIVE and go back to 10:30 at night when the weak links went home and the diehards stayed on. Medieval "I've got a really simple, quickie set of rules", sez I, and I took my 54mm medieval figures off the shelf, thinking we'd have a half hour game at the most. The medievals... swordsmen, archers, and the like... produce an enjoyable game. There are two poses for each figure: either a man is standing, or he's knocked flat and prone and semi-helpless. He's got a data sheet... and he expires when all his "boxes" are crossed out. Our "quickie" game ended at 3:30 AM. For some unfathomable reason, I was pooped, Scott Holder was pooped, and Jeff Wiltrout was pooped. Jeff was the winner, but barely. He captured the castle, captured the Princess, and managed to hold on to her until our stamina ran out. Princess Beautifica was atop the castle at Point A, protected by her faithful guardian, Drilla the Gorilla. Jeff's men ran up the stairs at Point B, and got a two-on-one on the Princess' simian protector; poor Drilla didn't stand a chance. All this, of course, is historically realistic... several instances of battles between medieval knights and gorillas have been noted in the ancient records, and I made sure that my charts and statistics followed the recorded results. Drilla, therefore, was doomed... there's only so much a poor gorilla can do. After Drilla's demise, Jeff Is men held the high ground (and the Princess) ... and Scott and I were outside, looking up. A couple of my men lugged ladders to Point C, and were on the verge of setting them up, when FOOSH!! ... an arrow buried itself in one of my fierce fighters, Ramm of the Rock. Ramm tested his reaction, lost his footing and fell. Each man started with about 100 Efficiency Points (EP) on his data sheet. The reaction test consisted of adding his EP to a percentage dice throw... if the total was over 150, there was no adverse impact. Ramm's total, however, was under 100... much, much too low, and down he went. The source of the arrow turned out not to be one of Jeff Wiltrout's men, but one of Scott's!! Here were Scott and I, both at a disadvantage, both on the outside, both looking up at Jeff's men fondling the Princess ... and Scott decides to fire at me! That's what too much diddling with WRG ancients rules will do to you. Scott is High Mugwump of the North American Society of Ancients, and he plays a lot of WRG ancients games, and argues a lot with Phil Barker. Evidently, Scott transferred some of his Barker hostility to me. Whatever, having been shot at, my own code of honor called for retaliatory measures. And so, there were the two of us, whanging and firing away at each other, while Wiltrout's men looked down from on high and jeered and laughed, occasionally sending down an arrow to keep our juices flowing. Finally, common sense prevailed (and I must say, there's very little common sense around 2:00 AM), and we joined forces in 'a joint attack on the castle. Up the steps ran Scott's men, while my own went back to setting up their ladders at Point c. At one point, one of Scott's boys actually made it to the top of the stairs, but he was quickly surrounded, badly handled, and thrown off the walls. My boys did no better. Take Ulnar the Pikeman, for example. One of my most valiant warriors. Ulnar set up a ladder and thrice - that's three times! - he scampered up to do battle with two of Jeff Is defenders. Ulnar was at a decided disadvantage, hanging on the ladder with one hand, awkwardly poking his pike with the other, and receiving double damage from the two defenders. Yet, twice, he drove the defenders back! If only he could have summoned up that last burst of energy to leap from the ladder to the top! ... but no! ... each time that Ulnar saw the opposition fall back, he became so excited that he lost his grip, and instead of advancing, he fell off the ladder. Ulnar was the victim of some poor post-melee reaction dice throws. When he added his EP to the percentage dice, he looked for a total of over 150 to permit him to advance. Each time, however, his total fell below the dreaded 100 mark, the critical region wherein it is decreed that the tester falls prone, and PLOP!, down went Ulnar. And to make matters worse,, a little later on, one of my own archers, in firing hastily, sank an arrow into Ulnar's back as he was engaging yet another Wiltroutian. Each side can have two actions per figure, and if an archer takes a full two actions to fire... one to aim, one to fire... then, if he hits, he hits his aiming point. If he f ires with only one action, however, he fires hastily, and may' hit anyone within a 4 inch distance of the desired target. This is what happened to trigger-happy Allan the Bowman, whose arrow zonked Ulnar. "Sorry, Ulnar, old man", Allan shouted, but I don't think Ulnar heard him, busy as he was, smashing and bashing at the Wiltroutian. Besides, what was one more wound to a valiant fellow such as Ulnar?? Around 3:30, Scott and I agreed we could make no headway against Jeff Wiltrout. "Another game?", I cried, my eyes half closed, tongue hanging out. Fortunately, no one took me up on it. Back to PW Review May 1990 Table of Contents Back to PW Review List of Issues Back to MagWeb Master Magazine List © Copyright 1990 Wally Simon This article appears in MagWeb (Magazine Web) on the Internet World Wide Web. Other articles from military history and related magazines are available at http://www.magweb.com