Hap Jordan is acting as umpire and coordinator of the CHARGE CAMPAIGN, set up by Bill Protz as a 30mm figure exercise for the Seven Years War era. I've reported on this before, and as the great leader of the state of Ostlandt, I'm one of over a dozen fellas enrolled in the campaign. Just south of Ostlandt is the principality of Ardoberg-Holstein, which displayed an aggressive tendency - one might even say a certain amount of hostility - towards Ostlandt's eastern neighbor, the State of Pomerania, by invading it. As the map shows, the three principalities of Ostlandt, Pomerania, and Ronussia are huddled together quite comfortably. We signed a pact to assist one another, and in view of the Elector of Ardoberg-Holstein sending his strike force into Pomerania, I and the peerless leader of Ronussia, King Robert of Hurst, thought we'd help our friend in Pomerania by dashing south into Ardoberg- Holstein with some troops of our own to divert the rascal's attention. Our foray into enemy territory was duly reported to Umpire Hap; he was informed that Ostlandt and Ronussia each sent one brigade south to beseige the walls of the town of Thornich, to singe the beard of the Elector of Ardoberg-Holstein, to give him knotted tendons, gas pains and stomach cramps, and, perhaps, an ulcer or two. Prior to Ardoberg-Holstein's northern strike, our three independent states of Ostlandt, Ronussia, and Pomerania had entered into a mutual assistance pact, termed the Multi-Fractal Alliance, hereinafter referred to as the MFA. The terms of the MFA stated that if one of its members was "aggrieved", and troops sent to help against the common enemy, then "...these troops shall be under the full command and control of the aggrieved MFA member." One will note from the map that, in order to reach Ardoberg- Holstein, King Robert's Ronussian detachment had to go through Ostlandt. I noted this immediately, and promptly informed King Robert that, since his troops were passing through Ostlandt, and since I was an "aggrieved" party, it was obvious that under the above-cited article of the MFA, I would be in command of the MFA expedition. "Ho! Ho! Ho!", cried jolly King Robert. "Uno momento! How can you be aggrieved? Ardoberg-Holstein has done nothing to you... in fact, you are doing bad things to Ardoberg-Holstein. And if you are "aggrieved", then I, too, am "aggrieved", hence we are "aggrieved" together!" I tried to explain to King Hurst that one of the greatest legal minds in Ostlandt had drawn up the terms of the MFA, and it was clearly the intent of the document that, faced with a situation such as we had beforf- us, the expedition should be led by me, the noted Lion of Ostlandt. Jolly King Hurst's reply: "Read my lips ... NO! NYET! NEIN! NON!" Obviously, he was not to be persuaded. The problem of command was taken out of our hands by Umpire Hap, who informed us that the battle of Thornich would be fought in Milwaukee at ORIGINS. Initially, Hap threw another wrench into the works... King Robert received a message to the effect that his couriers got lost, and his troops were delayed, which meant that it would be Ostlandtic troops alone that would assault the walls of Thornich. Later on, I was informed, Hap relented, and somewhere around Turn 6 in the battle, the Ronussian force entered the field. But I'm getting ahead of my story... All the above strategic movements took place well before ORIGINS, which was scheduled in August. August came, the battle was fought, and then... silence. No word from Umpire Hap on anything until the end of October. Then, the last week in October, Hap mailed his campaign updates, stating that the delay was due to his coming down with pneumonia, in fact, double pneumonia. Now, this sounded fishy to me... if I was excusing myself because I failed to come out with a timely update, I would have said something to the effect that I had been captured by an off- planet race of alien creatures and held prisoner until I managed to break free, lead the revolt of the oppressed workers, and destroy the Death Star. I would never offer so mundane an excuse as a bout with pneumonia ... certainly not double pneumonia ... but, be that as it may, Hap is on his feet again, and T can continue my tale of adventure... At ORIGINS, the battle of Thornich was set up, and in my stead was Bill McHarg, a subscriber to the REVIEW (Bill's subscription fees have been doubled, and rightly so, as you'll discover upon reading the results of his generalship). Now, mind you, all that I recite in this article comes from a packet sent to me from Umpire Hap, full of scribbles and notes and maps evidently made table-side by Bill Protz. This is a true fog of war, for here I am, commanding the Ostlandt troops, with no idea of what actually went on, trying to decipher 'zactly what happened to my brigade at Thornich. First, I note that Ostlandt (Yeay!) was represented by Bill McHarg (Yeay!), assisted by Dean West (Yeay!), who ran the Ronussian reserves. And, in the opposite corner, all wearing stained yellow trunks, weighing far too much, and representing the Unspeakable Elector of Ardoberg-Holstein (Yuch!), was Bill Protz (Boo!) Dick Bryant (Hiss!), Jurgen Ulk (Pfooey!), and Dave Stone (A-a-aagh!). You'll note it took four guys (two with off-table reserves) to handle the Ardobergian troops, whereas, at the outset, Bill McHarg was all by his lonesome on the field. Hap sent me four maps to mark the progress of the battle. The terrain is sketched below, showing woods on the west, a non- fordable river on the east, and both sides separated by two parallel ridges. McHarg is sheltered to the north of Ridge One, while Bryant and Stone are to the south of Ridge Two. From what I can make out on the first map which was sent to me, General McHarg came forward with his troops to the southern edge of Ridge One, while his cavalry went towards the East Bridge. His opponents seemed to be in no particular hurry to move north over Ridge Two. On the second map, both sides have stationed themselves on their respective ridges, and there are some squiggles indicating an exchange of artillery fire. The Ostlandt cavalry is at East Bridge, facing the right flank of Bryant's infantry. There is no Ardobergian cavalry on the field. Things don't look too bad, for Bill Protz's Ardobergian cavalry reserve is still off the board to the east, as is Ulk's Ardobergian infantry reserve to the west. Colonel McHarg is still by himself, with the Ronussian units off-field to the north. The third map shows a little more action. Protz's cavalry arrives on the east edge and makes for East Bridge. The Ronussian reserve shows up on the northern baseline and they, too, head for East Bridge to face the Protzian cavalry. The forces midfield still face each other on their respective ridges. Major McHarg is still trading fire with the enemy across the valley between the two ridges. Now we come to the fourth map and disaster. Suddenly, there appear several arrows showing Captain McHarg's forces in flight to the north. The Ronussians are running right alongside the Ostlandters. How did this come to pass? In the west, the Ardobergian Ulk infantry reserves have arrived, heading for the right flank of 1st Lieutenant McHarg's infantry on Ridge One. The Protzian cavalry is stilT-across the river, not having crossed East Bridge. The map contains a note, evidently in Bill Protz's hand, which states, in essence, that: "On the last turn, the Ardoberg-Holstein CinC allowed Ostlandt/Ronussian forces a golden bridge to retreat north. Otherwise, the Ardoberg-Holstein cavalry (Protz) and infantry (Ulk) would have surrounded them to their probable destruction." A "golden bridge", indeed! The notes indicate that 2nd Lieutenant McHarg did manage to salvage a few units. The Order of Battlewith which Sergeant McHarg commenced the fight is given below, together with tMe remnants that Corporal McHarg finally ran off the board. Unit Initial Number Survivors Col. Foote's Reg't of Infanterie 24 0 Col. Boote's Reg't of Infanterie 24 5 Col. Tose's Reg't of Infanterie 24 19 Capt. Handt's Reg't of Cavalerie Legere 12 6 Capt. Fingerre's Reg't of Heavie Horse 12 5 1st Artillerie Batterie no losses Alas, my glorious First Brigade is no more! And Private McHarg is on the 10-Most-Wanted list of the Ostlandtic Statz Polizei. The packet from which all the above was taken, while telling the sad tale of the Ostlandt defeat, and stressing the rather hurried departure of the troops from the field, does not say to where they ran! At this writing, they may still all be milling in the fields surrounding the town of Thornich... if anyone out there sees a crowd of unkempt, dirty looking, unwashed Ostlandters, waving their fists and shouting "Get McHarg!!", well ... them's m'boys... please tell 'em to get back to Ostlandt as fast as possible... Back to PW Review November 1988 Table of Contents Back to PW Review List of Issues Back to MagWeb Master Magazine List © Copyright 1988 Wally Simon This article appears in MagWeb (Magazine Web) on the Internet World Wide Web. Other articles from military history and related magazines are available at http://www.magweb.com