His grandmother Katarina, Empress of Russia named him with a conquest of Constantinople in mind. At the same time she referred to the weak new-born as "the thing" and allowed his parents, "the substandards" to take care of him. Only when the baby refused to die did Katarina separate him from his parents, just as she has done with their first son Alexander. She did not trust her idiot son and his wife "the mare" with the imperial heirs.

Perhaps she was right. Konstantin's father was Grand Duke Paul, Katarina's estranged son and heir to the Russian throne, was a paranoid and unstable man of few talents and even fewer charms. His mother, Sophia Dorothea Augusta of Wurttemberg was known to be a fine breeder (she bore ten children in thirteen years) who beside her good looks had few other noteworthy features.

They were excluded from the official court life and lived on a military-camp-like estate where Paul bullied his family and indulged in his only passion: Prussian-style military drill.

Meanwhile, Konstantin (with his future in mind provided with a Greek wet nurse) and his brother were raised in Katarina's chambers. Their mighty grandmother was good at a lot of things, but being a parent was not one of them. She who had driven her own son into near madness now spoiled his sons to the bone while she tried to mould them into ideal rulers.

The idea was that an enlightened, liberal monarchy should somehow rule the medieval Russian society where five kids in the princes' own age could be brought for the cost of a cow. (Konstantin, having already understood that he was above the law, enjoyed kicking and biting his tutors.) To confuse matters further the boys were exposed to the outrages of the court; both the public spectacles that wasted millions of roubles, as well as the Empress' energetic love life that craved droves of young and obedient noblemen.

While his big brother grew into that kind of perfect circus pony -- the kind of child you can show off to your friends Konstantin turned out a bit too much like his father. He liked screaming at soldiers. Just like any other eleven-year-old he loved to watch a regiment snap to attention at the sound of his voice. Time and time again.

In 1796 Katarina died before she could finalise her plans of making her beloved "Young Alexander" her successor and in less than a day her son had moved his goose-stepping grenadiers into the palace. Konstantin, who had just been ordered into a disastrous marriage with the seventeen year old Princess Juliana of Coburg was far better at goose-steps than his airy brother and was soon made Inspector General of Cavalry.

In 1799 Konstantin was sent to join Suvarov in Switzerland to get some combat experience. En route he threw an epic two week-long party in Vienna, most likely to celebrate his first time out of (grand) parental reach. After three days with the army he took a stroll and deliberately exposed himself to French fire, braving himself to stay calm. He passed the test.

Two days later at Bassignana he led a brigade across the Po for an unauthorised surprise attack on the French. The ensuing disaster cost some 1000 Russian lives. When Konstantin tried to blame the debacle on Rosenberg, the Austrian general who he had bullied into lending him the troops, Suvarov went ballistic and treated him to a private thirty minute lecture on military matters.

The nineteen-year old prince was reduced to tears, but failed to learn anything from the experience. Despite being surrounded by decades of up-to-date military experience his mind forever stayed with his father's stiff-legged grenadiers. At Novi a while later, he redeemed himself the only way he knew, by strolling around in point blank canister fire and miraculously escaping unhurt.

While Konstantin waged war his father Paul's neurotic rule brought things to a head in St Petersburg. During a coup in 1801 the Tsar was killed (unintentionally it seems, the whole thing was a mess and bred endless conspiracy theories) and instead the young, charismatic and slightly confused Alexander was made Tsar.

Konstantin, who was allegedly was in on the "accidental death" part of the coup, was soon made "Tsarevich" -- royal heir -- and was from now forever destined to be his golden brother's warlike side-kick. The same year his wife left Russia in disgust (she never set her foot in Russia again during her 78-years of life), giving Konstantin more time to devote to drilling the Imperial Guards that from now on where more or less his own.

Austerlitz established Konstantin's role as Chief Imperial Fire-eater. The disastrous battle reduced the "New Alexander" to tears but his kid brother went down at the head of his beloved Guard, fighting Mamlukes who had vowed to bring his head to Napoleon. The image struck. At least in Konstantin's mind.

Over the next years Konstantin kept on soldiering, mostly at the head of the Guards. He fought well at Heilsberg and again went down in a blaze of glory at Friedland. At the Tilsit conference he got along remarkably well with his virtual antithesis: Joachim Murat. The innkeeper's son-turned general even introduced Konstantin to his personal tailor. At home he lived in sin (in the midst of an Uhlan regiment) with Josephine Frederix, a French woman who eventually bore his only child.

It was understood by the Russian generalship that Konstantin lacked any talent for higher command and was too tactless for diplomacy and if kept amused screaming at some hapless guard regiment he would keep out of the way of business. Not that Konstantin agreed with this. He was destined to win battles.

Konstanin's entire military career was spent plotting against superiors and trying to promote his own military ideas. He published a set of maxims that sounded like his father talking and featured gems such as "An officer must never make use of his good sense or intelligence." He stated that any idiot could be an officer as all he had to do was to pass on orders but failed to explain who should issue those orders in the first place. Needless to say he hated the reforms of Barclay de Tolly that turned the Russian army into a modern fighting force that did very little goose-stepping.

And he soldiered on, constantly at loggerheads with whoever was in command. At Borodiono he commanded the Guard Corps. As Katusov lost control over the battle command several officers rose to save the day, among them Konstantine's rivals Barclay and Bagration as well as the dour Dokturov.

The stage was set for Konstantine the Warrior Prince to step up and take command, but he did not even try. Instead he stayed with his guard and eventually led one of the last Russian counterattacks. The charge as well as the Guard was pulverised by artillery but helped convince the French to call it a day.

After commanding reserves throughout the mayhem of the 1813-14 campaigns, Konstantin finally got his big break. He was made commander of the newly formed Polish Army and took up residence in Warsaw. After two years of insane drilling he was made Viceroy of Poland, despite that he was already one of the most hated men in the realm. (He also divorced his first wife and married a Polish noblewoman Jeannette Grudzinska.) When his big brother died in 1825: Konstantin resigned his claims to the Russian throne and instead passed the title on to his baby brother Nikolai who ruled Russia to 1855.

In November 1830 a revolt broke out in Warsaw, very much due to Konstantin's hash rule. When rebels attacked his palace Konstantin had to flee the country disguised as a woman. Back in Russia he died of cholera in Vitebsk the following year, 52 years old.