Men have always criticized women for shopping, yet they we slow to admit that, under certain situations, they act very similarly. One section of male society, which I know too well of (and I am a part of) is the historical gamer. Yes, that rarely seen or heard of minority, usually found holed up in rec-rooms and basements across the nation. Always attempting to recreate the battles of Napoleon or right the wrongs of General Lee. With a cast of thousands, or should I say with thousands of castings - beautifully painted miniature lead figurines being pushed across HO train-style layouts (minus the train or the tracks) by their masters to their fateful "baptism by fire".

Gaming conventions or "Cons" as they we called, we the weak spot of that strange breed of man called the historical gamer. These historical Cons with their beloved dealers' rooms, are much like Las Vegas, having caused many a man's financial disaster and afterwards, many a sleepless night on a sofa in the living room by disgruntled wives. The Cons are usually held at nice hotels with rooms going at ridiculously high rates. They are planned for weekends with lousy weather, so wives and girlfriends can't drag their men to craft shows or to shopping malls. Thye don't have a hobby store or a bookstore with a good historical section.

Most conventions usually open early in the morning and the "promised land" (the dealers room) opens soon after. The Dealers rooom is always a spacious room but is jam packed with tables for almost every conceivable hobby shop and figure manufacturer in the nation. A herd of gamers stampede into the dealer's room filled with futile thoughts of "I'll just get what I need and then leave." Sound familiar ladies? I thought so. Most gamers, including myself make meticulous lists of what they "need". Usually, of the eight things on the list, only two am bought and fourteen other items are "acquired" from the mere hour or so of "browsing" which actually turns into six hours of erratic and impulsive buying.

The battle cry of "Focus!" like some, deranged, zen-buddest variation of the rebel yell, deviates to "Oh wow! Too cool, gotta have one" and "What? You mean if I only buy 63 more Lithuanian Tartars I get two for FREE?" Yes do's right, if we are told "buy X mounts, get one free" it is a security blanket against the wrath of wives. Oh, come on, you've heard this line before "but honey, I had to buy $50 worth of Don Cossacks in "quasi-religious" garb because I got these later Achaemenid Persian spearmen for free". The difference being that wives have had more practice at this than we and they are able to be much colder to our pleas.

While at this years COLD WARS my friend, Dan chanted his mantra of "focus" like some big, Illinois Dali Lama. Meanwhile I'm clutching armfuls of lead soldiers like so many others, babbling to themselves like Gollum from Tolkein's The Hobbit. Dan, along with a few other brave souls showed the most restraint. Until we reached the Wargames Foundry booth, where I promptly reached nirvana and proceeded in trying to get five figures from every fine they carried. Even though there were over forty different lines and the figures were just a mere $1.10 each! It was there Dan tried to tell me I've lost FOCUS and this would be a good time to leave. In my delirium (initial stage of lead poisoning?) I grabbed his shirt by the lapels and began a high-speed babble about why shouldn't everyone buy ten 1936-pattern uniformed German NCO figures smoking a cigarette? At about that same time he explained to me point after point the nonsense of it all and then promptly bought a bagful of figures. So did four other men who were within earshot.

So admit it, men! Sometimes we are just as bad as women When it comes to shopping. Notice I said "sometimes" that's because I value my life. lt's like being part of the Mafia and then writing a book about it. l'm at risk and I know that, but the truth has to get out. As the saying goes; "the only difference between men and boys is the price of their toys". So whether its Mrs. V's husband buying equipment or one of my friends adding another gun to his collection, it's all the same. We might as well admit it men, depending on what we've shopping for, we can shop with the best (women).