I started wargaming in the late 1970s in high school when I stumbled across a kid who was supposed to be cleaning up class rooms. Instead, he was playing with small lead toys on a teacher's desktop. We started to talk: he invited me back to his house and I saw his hundreds of orcs, elves, knights and warg-riders - and that was it. I was hooked. My friend's name was John Dodson 'Jay' or 'JD" for short. He introduced me to his circle of D&D friends - some of whom I game with still! While they preferred fantasy games, I gravitated towards the historical. Eveentuallt, with Jay's help, I began collecting my own armies for the English Civil War and the American Revolution. Persuading fantasy gamers to play your American Revolution games is not always easy. Compromises have to be made. Hence, the birth of the bitter and longstanding rivalry between his most Bitannic Majesty (me), and the King of Haledon (Jay). In our games, Jay invariably chose to play the American army. He liked the look of my raggle-taggle continentals and militia. He especially loved the French units - 2 huge battalions (badly) painted in gleaming Ailute uniforms. I was left with the British and Hessians. But rather than simply donning the tricorne of General Washington, Jay had grander pretensions. He soon promoted himself to King. His chosen country was called Haledon. This Haledon was a picturesque, land locked place. Its population seemed to be some type of cross between French and Icelandic. Fortunately, Jay soon promoted me to a kingship as well, investing me with the crown of Bitania. My own kingdom was solidly Anglo-Saxon - with some minor Dutch overtones. I also decreed that a large island lay off my coast whose inhabitants, though Germanic, were enamored of kilts, whiskey and other Gaelic eccentricities. This island I named Schottland. Being civilized monarchs, Jay and I decided that it would never do to wage war on our own lands. Too messy, what with the burning, looting. and foraging. Instead, we decided to settle our princely scores within the borders of the hapless country of Zwisch. Conveniently enough, Zwisch lay between Haledon and Bitania. To reach our respective countries, our armies had to invade and cross Zwisch to protect our kingdoms from invasion, we would each in turn launch pre-emptive forays into Zwisch. Either way, the unfortunate Zwischlander became more or less permanent hosts to our hosts. Our battles almost always used Ken Bunger's marvelous Tricorne rules. To understand the nature of Haledon - Bitania wars, it is important to understand some basic features of these rules. Tricorne is a traditional set of rules. Movement is simultaneous; orders must be written for each unit. Casualties are tracked by a roster system using "actual" men (i.e. he 43rd Foot might start the game with 362 men and lose 13 men to a round of canister). First volleys are given powerful effect. The real secret to Tricorne lay in its morale rules. Without going into too much detail. Tricorne followed the principle of multiple morale throws. Every time certain events occurred. a unit had to test morale under the right circumstances, a unit could be forced to face 3 or 4 morale rolls in a single turn. The goal of players in Tricorne is no so much to destroy enemy units by fire or melee rather than attempt to put so many cumulative stresses on the enemy's morale as to make them break. Players did not waste shots or volleys if no morale advantage could be gained. In short, Tricorne was (and is) a great set of rules for small to medium sized 18th century battles. The Armies Over the years. Jay's Haledonic army developed a remarkable personality. American continentals were transformed into Rysaaf regulars. These troops seemed to have an Icelandic background. Troops dressed in white or light grey were vaguely French and kept their French regimental names. With one major exception, Jay absolutely refused to have troops dressed in green in his army. Any such figures were given to Bitania without question. Because our armies were based on the American Revolution, our cavalry components were weak. Early Haledonic armies often sported only 2 squadrons of horse. As time passed, other cavalry units joined the Haledonic masses (most notable some Napoleonic French Hussars). But for most of our wars, infantry was the decisive arm. The Bitannic army, vaguely British as it was, had predominantly red coated figures. Of course, exceptions were not rare. Green coated troops (both Loyalists, and any figures expelled from the Haledonic side due to Jay's anti-Green proclivity) were deemed to originate in a dairy loving, Dutch type of province in southern Bitania. Blue coated Hessians were dubbed provincial troops from a more Germanic part of Bitania. Blue bonneted, kilted or trewed troops were deemed to be imports from the island of Schottland. Eventually, believing that imperial dignity and personal safety required a suitable body guard, I raised a battalion of foot guards. These figures were Heritage 15mm British Grenadier Guards. I painted them sky blue with yellow facings. They were christened the Admiralty Foot Guards this served to perpetually remind my Haledonic opponent that, unlike his paltry little princedom, I had a navy and coast and beaches, and vacation homes and ... well, you get the idea. With typical good nature Jay never objected when I rated my foot guards as elite troops. As for cavalry, the story for Bitania was similar to Haledon. My horse was limited in number, and never grew very potent. Command and Combat The army of Haledon developed a consistent doctrine or command and tactics. Rule number 1 was that the King of Haledon (i.e. Jay) always commanded in person. His Haledonic majesty did not trust other player generals to implement his royal will on the battlefield. This was just as well, as Haledonic armies reveled in the art of the (almost, but not quite suicidal) headlong charge. But attacks by Haledonic troops were more thrilling than a simple banzai rush to melee. Haledonic doctrine required its troops to advance in line to short or point blank range without loosing their first volley. Theoretically, reserving the first fire till such close range guaranteed a murderous effect on the Bitannic opponents. Practically, of course, these tactics often resulted in Haledonic units being cut to ribbons before they closed. Nevertheless, this was all huge fun, and led to some great games. Of course, His Haledonic majesty was not always rash in the attack. On several occasions, the King fell the call of his poetical muse. On these special days, the King (Jay) would write his movement orders for his troops in rhyme. This meant that I had to contend with bizarre enemy troop movements undertaken merely to justify a good rhyme in a stanza. The Bitannian archives contain several fragments of battlefield prose written by the Haledonic King. Here is it brief excerpt from it battle long ago (Note that the exotic names refer to specific regiments in the army). Ryjork tip the hill, buckles burnished The line advance. Isaff skirmish While Swasona (sic) lead cloth furnish Gun. again. Make Bitain mash.... Swasona (sic) on the hill take stance Put cannonballs in the Hessians pains Northerners and Isaffs advance Ryjork down the hill dance. Another unique feature of Haledonic armies was the almost total lack of elite troops. Without quirky exception, the King of Haledon simply would not tolerate pretentious morale ratings. His troops invariably went rated as regulars ("0" ratings in Tricorne). No preposterous brigade of guards or battalions of light infantry or grenadiers for Haledon. Such frippery was despicable. Bitania too developed its own culture. Because I usually acted as umpire for our Tricorne games, I could not "command" my own armies often. Thus, the tradition grew that the Bitannic monarch would hire the finest generals to win his battles. MRN gamers in our group took turns facing the Haledonic dressed in the (general) red uniform of Bitania. Rumors questioning His Most Bitannic majesty's courage under fire were unfairly spread (often by the generals so generously hired). A routine sub-plot to Bitania - Haledon battles was the quashing of coup attempts on the throne by these greedy mercenary generals. This was the unfortunate tradition, begun eary on, of granting counties, duchies, earldoms and many other titles to victorious generals. Unfortunately. Bitannic arms were successful many more times than not, and the profusion of mercenary generals with titles, claiming ever larger and larger pieces of the kingdom posed a never ending risk to my house. Bitannic armies were pragmatic. Any tactic necessary to win was employed. No one characteristic dominated the Bitannic approach to war. Of course, with an ever changing staff of generals, my, armies could not help but have a somewhat schizophrenic doctrine. Bitania also had no compunction about creating and rewarding specialist units. In addition to the Admiralty Foot Guards, my army boasted of a number of elite grenadier and light infantry units. I even rated Schottish troops as above average. The Bitannic armies never lacked for bells and whistles - but truth be told. The army of Haledon had more aplomb. The Units and Their Battles The Haledon-Bilania wars were fought over a period of 8 N cars (1978-1986). During that time, a number of units distinguished themselves (or not!) above and beyond the call of wargame duty. Without question, the regiment unequalled for insane deals of preposterous heroism was the Haledonic version of the Regiment Soissonais. Originally. I had painted two French battalions for in American Revolutionary War army: Soissonais and Gatonais. Both regiments are huge. While a typical British (Bitannic) battalion sported 18 figures. Soissonais and Gatonais had 30 figures each. True to Haledonic polic both regiments were rated as regulars. After several battles. it became clear that despite its regular rating. Soissonais ivas a tough unit to face. Its reputation grew steadily. and Bitannic generals given to hate / fear the sight of the white coated Soissonais. Now one might assume that the Soissonais success stemmed increased from its huge size relative to the other units. Not so. Gatonais. the sister regiment to Soissonais. was equal in size and was equally renowned for its propensity to rout at the first opportunity. No matter the situation. No matter how few the casualties, Gatonais would flee at the drop of a cocked hat. In one memorable fight, I deployed my army in an excellent defensive position (This was one of the rare occasions where I could command in own army). My flanks were anchored on two round hills perhaps 18" between the hills. On the hills I deployed in batteries of 6 pounders. I stretched in infantry in two lines between the hills. The Haledonic forces deployed in the open, in two lines as well with Soissonais and Gatonais in the center first line. To the strains oftlic theme music from Lyndon. The wall of white and blue and brown uniforms bore down on in prepostcrous well prepared position, Like Cumberland at Fonteno he came on. Soon the batteries were flinging a cross fire of round shot in enfilade at the Haledonic troops. Their morale held. and on the they came. Soon they were within canister range of the light guns deployed in the center. I popped off some obligatory rounds at Gatonais. Per all of our expectations, they turned to the right about and fled. Despite that under Tricorne's rules, fleeing units cause a turn of morale rolls to nearby friendly units. Not a single Haledonic unit took notice of Galonais flight. Jay closed up his troops and pressed on. Soon Soissonais' bluecoats were in musket range. My first line began delivering volleys in medium range, and dropped scores of Haledonic heroes. They kept coming. Then it was time. Soissonais and the other mins in Ja\'s first line moved to within close range of my line. Soissonais faced the 45th Regiment of Foot (a good, but nondescript unit). Soissonais' volley obliterated the 45th. The suvivors fled. Then it happened -- in the flurry of morale rolls caused by the 45th's departure, my entire first line, and most of my second fled. The odds against this mass exodus were huge - but it happened. In the space of a turn. Soissonais had almost single handedly routed my army. I was apoplectic. On another occasion. Jay permitted Rich Boyd, one of our fellow gamers to command the army of Haledon. Now Rich had faced Soissonais on man a stricken field as a hired general in the army of Bitania. He was, in fact, a Duke of the Realin - having fought many battles against Haledon. In any case unbeknownist to Jay, this temporary general set out to fight this battle with only one objective in mind: to destroy Soissonais! On the day of battle - the armies deployed on a standard battlefield with some woods, fenced and walled fields and a town. On turn one, only Soissonais stepped forward towards the guns off Bilannic army. For several turns, Soissonais advancing unsupported across the battlefield - a large target for every gun in range. I moved my best regiments to cover the point of the expected attack (I was acting as a general this time, too). Eventually, Soissonais moved against my Schottish regiment. The Schots waited behind a low stone wall, muskets leveled. Their first volley was devastating - as befitted elite troops. No effect on Soissonais though. On they came to close range. Their first voflcy caused fearful casualties to my Schots, but they held. Next turn. Soissonais charged. Now it must be understood that launching a bayonet attack under the Tricorne rules is difficult. A ferociously high moral roll is needed to even begin the charge - and a defender's fire at the incoming charge will usually cause a morale roll which halts the charging unit. With the aforementioned facts in mind, it should come as no surprise that Soissonais' morale rolls to launch and continue the charge were amazing. In this case, it was the Schotts who crumbled and ran before impact. The routing Schotts swept away my best supporting troops, and opened up an entire flank. It is hard to say who was more appalled, me or my erstwhile general commanding the Haledonic forces. Being a good wargamer, he threw aside any thoughts of finishing off Soissonais. Instead, he finished off my army! The second most famous unit of our wars was intriguingly tiny. As I mentioned. Jay hated elite troops, and forbade the color green in his army. Predictably, then, the most highly rated unit in his army was a small, green coated grenadier battalion. The Isaaf Grenadiers started life as the infantry component of Lee's legion. There were 5 figures to the unit (scaling out at about 100 men). While the mounted portion of the Legion was banished to the Bitannic army (where I believe they were converted to an elite horse grenadier squadron), Jay was tickled by the infantry. He decreed that they would be the highest quality troops possible under the Tricorne rules (+5 ratings - guard grenadiers with an attitude!). The Isaafs were too small a unit to sway many battles, but they were a supreme pain in the ass. Their morale was such that they were difficult to break. They were spectacular skirmishers. Often they would be sent (sacrificially) to draw a first volley from part of my line. None of my skirmishers could stand in their way and no formed unit wanted to stand in the open receiving the galling, accurate fire off these marksmen: one had no choice but to let them have it with good volley. It always seemed that most of the Isaafs were killed or wounded in each battle. But Jay had no difficulty recruiting them up to strength for the next fight. Truth be told, none of the regiments on the Bitannic establishment ever approached the renown won by Jay's units. My Admiralty Foot Guards had brilliant plumage, but were remarkably unremarkable. The regiment on my side of the table most feared by the Haledonic anity was the Schottish regiment. In one battle they earned the nick name "La Machine" (you are dating yourself if you remember that one). Rumors spread among the Haledons about the Schottlanders' cannibalistic and unhygienic tendencies -- All were officially denied. The wars between Haledon and Bitania raged over weekends, Christmas and Spring breaks and any other time Jay and I could get together with the gang. While away at college, we exchanged Kingly insults and tried to outdo each other with bombastic proclamations of our superiority. The Bitannic archives contain several of these silly proclamations. The one that comes easiest to hand is dated January 2, 1985 and reads: Your Majesty, I write now to express my unutterable anger. I am incensed, enraged, altogether distraught. and otherwise pissed off. How sir, do you explain the intolerable state of peace which has existed between our two states this last year and a half? When, in the memory of man have Haledon and Bitania so long been peaceful neighbors? What must our brother sovereigns think of us? How low have we sunk in the esteem of the world that not one grenadier, not one trooper, not even one customs official has gotten (himself) killed for our glory? The peasants harvest their crops unmolested, the artisans work uninterrupted, the burghers cat without fear - how sit can you look upon such a scene with comfort. What purpose have we sovereigns if not to wage endless war and subject our peoples to general misery. How else will they remember our importance? My lord, I will no longer stand for this peace. It is an insult to my honor and dignity. It deprives my otherwise useless nobles of employment, and gives me no reason to maintain a splendid army. I must, therefore, inform you that your unprovoked policy of peace is an outrage. and that I intend to declare war as soon as you are so good as to reply with an insult which will allow us, with honor, to commence war. Then, in the spring of 1986, unwanted peace carried to our Kingdoms. Jay died in a canoeing accident in New England. The proud regiments of Haledon had lost their leader forever. Since Jay's death, my gaming companions and I have moved onto bigger and better projects: we've painted thousands of figures to standards that would have astonished Jay. We've played great battles and dabbled with campaigns. We've played dozens of excellent rule systems. But for all of that, I still look back wistfully to the days of badly paintcd 15mm strip Minifigs playing with dried out lichen and badly made trees -- waiting for Jay to write out his next insane move. Remember that I am your most obedient, soverign, well dressed, comfortable, and inveterate enemy. -- Brian Rex Back to MWAN #96 Table of Contents Back to MWAN List of Issues Back to MagWeb Magazine List © Copyright 1997 Hal Thinglum This article appears in MagWeb (Magazine Web) on the Internet World Wide Web. Other military history articles and gaming articles are available at http://www.magweb.com