(Editor's Note: George wishes us to note these are stictly for fun! You are a Veteran gamer if: 1) You consider 90mm figures too small to paint. 2) You can see 15mm figures except as dots. 3) People ask you about the Spanish-American War like you were there. 4) You continually talk about the Old Guard Grenadiers yOu converted from a box of AIR-FIX Zulus. 5) You are one of the 70,000 people who were at the first meeting in Wally Simon's basement to found HMGS or else you read about it and think you were really there. 6) A young lady invites you to her house for 'fun and games' and you arrive with two DBA armies. 7) You refer to Don Featherstone as a 'brilliant' lad who "will some day be well known in the hobby and write a book or two" 8) You purchase a 25mm army of 100 figures and hand the seller a twenty dollar bill. 9) You scan the movie advertisements expecting a high quality historical film will be issued weekly. 10) You have had more Surgery this year than NIOU have had wargarnes! You are a Novice gamer if: 1) Your favorite rule set requires 100 dice rolls per turn to complete an eighteen hour skirmish. 2) You copy of Playboy is pristine, but your English Glossy is in bad shape from continuous reading. 3) Your paints are labeled "Troll Green" and "Orc Purple". 4) Irises and pupils are painted on 6mm figures. 5) You can spot a 6mm tank twelve feet from you on the tabletop and tell if there is a commander in the cupola. 6) You regularly game for twelve hours straight. No one yells at you! 7) You listen to ancient 30 year old gamers talk about converting Airfix Zulus into Guard Grenadiers. 8) You specialize in the Battle of Magenta - but only the role of the 4th Corps between 8:00 and 11:00 AM, before it rained. 9) You tell everyone that vou collect. but don't wargame to hide the fact that the rules are incomprehensible to you. 10) You go to a wargame instead of a fashion model beauty contest because "let's face it, girls like old guys anyway - those old guys have got it made!" Back to MWAN #96 Table of Contents Back to MWAN List of Issues Back to MagWeb Magazine List © Copyright 1997 Hal Thinglum This article appears in MagWeb (Magazine Web) on the Internet World Wide Web. Other military history articles and gaming articles are available at http://www.magweb.com