Every campaign has them. Most players participate and turn their moves in on time. Then there are those who don't. No matter hard you prod them, nothing happens. When you confront them with it, they tell you how they intend to get it done. It doesn't happen. What do you do?

Up in the northwest comer of my Volci Campaign is an area that I call Viking World. Contesting for supremacy are many Welsh, Saxon and Viking principalities, four of them have players, two of them are "Do Nothing Kings." The official annals read like this:

Year 1, Month 1

Kent - Marital Problems: The queen is unhappy. It seems as if King Clark has spent too much time trying to conquer the world and not enough with her. If seems as if King Clark has relented and is spending time with his wife. Maybe next month he will be able to get out from under thumb. Otherwise, there is peace inside and outside of the kingdom. Trent - Viking Raids: The Vikings of Wright under King Olaf invaded and besieged the burg of Bars. A relieving force under King Gioydoin chased them off but bad omens prevent full pursuit (The sacred chickens were on a diet) and the invaders got away.

Month Two

I activated a neighboring Non Player State.

Elmet - Battle of the Glevum Plain: The armies of Elmet and Glevum met upon the plans before Glevum Castle Huscarl clashed with Huscarl, Select Fryd with Select Fryd, Mercenary knights destroyed the Glevumian left flank and crashed into their rear while King Cuthbert's Royal Huscarls destroyed those of King Harold who barely escaped with his life. With a quick assault Glevum Castle fell into King Cuthbert's hands. The Castle was sacked and the land plundered. Battle honors were won by King Cuthbert's Royal Huscarls.

Kent - The Queen Rules: King Clark of Kent is completely under the Queen's control. No war and conquests for the King. He has to mow the lawn (can't the royal gardener do that?). Trent - Victory Declared: Chasing the Vikings off King Gwydion is happy to declare himself victorious and rest on his laurels.

Month Three

I decided I didn't need my two "Do Nothing Players". I was having too much fun running the Non Player state of Elmet. As umpire, I figure I have the right to run any state I want. This is a great way to keep things exciting and create opportunities or threats for the players to respond to. Elmet - The Battle of Worth: It was a great battle. Shield wall clashed against shield wall. Men on both sides fell in great numbers, and when the dust of battle settled, the men of Elmet held the field, but their losses were so great, few were left standing. King Cuthbert declared it a great victory, but he lost over half of his army. Of his Huscarls only the mighty 1st survived. His mercenary knights and a unit of select Fryd died. Of the men of Worth, all died except for the lowly dregs and levies. King Eldred and a few followers were able to return home, but that was all. King Cuthbert's forces were so greatly reduced that they were forced to return home. Prayers of rejoicing were heard throughout the land of the Worth. Truly, the retreat of the host of Elmet was due to nothing less than divine intervention.

After King Cuthbert's pyrrhic victory, I decided to exercise my campaign umpire's prerogative and play the Kingdoms of Kent and Trent myself.

The events of Month Three continue as follows:

Kent - Siege of Chatwick: Tired of the queen's domineering manner, King Clark locker her up in a tower. Next, he invaded Chatwick. Wily King Ulther was ready for him. As a master of siege defense, he is holding out causing King Clark much grief with his sorties and other trickery. Trent - Invasion Now: Desiring real glory, King Gwydion finally invaded the kingdom of Wright. King Olaf and his Viking marauders are holed up in Wright Castle which is now under siege.

By strange luck, both sieges ended on Month Five:

Kent - Plague Battle and Conquest: Plague broke out in the royal army. King Clark was among the plague's victims. Those remaining decided to abandon the siege of Chatwick because of the strong defense put up by the castle's defenders. Seeing the distress of the invaders, King Ulther gathered his army to destroy what remained of the Kentish host. All went well for the men of Chatwick for awhile, but King Clark's Royal Huscarls fought gallantly in memory of their last leige. King Ulther's shield wall could not hold out against that of Kent. Then men of Chatwick could not flee fast enough to prevent the pursuing men of Kent from entering the gates of Chatwick Castle for they could not close the castle gates fast enough to stop them. King Ulther went into exile. The land of Chatwick was plundered by the victorious Kentmen.

Trent - Wright Falls: King Gwydion took Wright Castle in an all out assault. Being a merciful man, king Gwydian spared the people of Wright. Ex-King, now Lord Olaf and his people joyfully received baptism and swore loyalty to their new King.

It is a good thing that I, the Umpire, am an accomplished solo wargamer. Although all my players sent in their moves I fight all the battles myself. This way, I don't have to worry about players not showing up. If they don't send in their moves, it is also my prerogative to run their country anyway I see fit. As the campaign continues, certain countries develop their special personalities and I try to play them in character. In my campaign if the players don't take control of events, the events will take control of them. So who cares about "Do Nothing Players". If they don't take party, you can always have a little fun at their expense while you entertain your active players with their non-adventures in your campaign newsletter WORLD NEWS NOW.