As painful as it is to your correspondent, personal candor and my commitment to the betterment of the Empire require me to correct the false impressions created by certain popular accounts of the great battle of January inst, at which Her Majesty's forces were almost totally annihilated by the primitive tribesmen serving the Sudanese insurgent who styles himself the "Mahdi." The most gallant conduct of the British private soldier has once again been thrown away as a consequence of muddle-headed commanders who possess little regard for the simplest principles of war. Blame must be laid precisely where it belongs: on the shoulders of the Duke of Plaza-Toro and Ralph Rackstraw, whose personal courage was a poor substitute for military competence. Their own demise in desert sands incardinated with the blood of our soldiers and sailors compels our respect, but cannot and must not silence our just criticism of their inept tactical evolutions. Initially, Plaza-Toro and Rackstraw showed sense in avoiding the potentially dangerous defile at area 1 (see map) and choosing to march instead along the beach, well guarded by the heavy fire of the Nile gunboat. Alas, this was the last wise decision they took! When a tolerably large mob of Beja tribesmen burst upon the (by now straggling) column, neither Plaza-Toro nor Rackstraw thought to form up the troops into either an organized firing line or a square. Nor, incredibly enough, was the Gardner gun ever fired in anger the day long! The result was the immediate destruction of almost half of our total force and the end of Rackstraw's brief career in independent command. Still, the column plunged on blindly, instead of failing back to the east, and sheltering on the banks of the Nile. (If your humble servant had not been deprived of command by the jealousy of lesser men, I ~I mean hel would have taken an eastern route, through areas 3 and 5. thereby avoiding the trap which eventually eviscerated the desert column.) The pathetic remainder of the land forces was reduced further by the even larger horde of Dervish soldiers who burst from area 4. Plaza-Toro's cruel fate at the hands of these merciless fighters was inevitable. Command then devolved upon subalterns whose youth and inexperience preclude harsh censure. Nevertheless, I call to your attention their blunder in straying into the boulder field at area 4. The consequence was to attract the force of Dervishes which sprung from the trees at area 6, and which plunged into the rocky cleclivities at 4. Not only did they easily destroy the meager British force, but the Dervishes themselves were then shelteredfrom British rifles when the remainder of our field force belatedly came up into position to their south and poured an ineffectual fire into the horde which now lodged safely amidst the flinty stones. True, two Jack Tars and two Tommies eventually escaped with their lives. Four in total, of a force of more than thirty! This a victory? "Another such, and we are indeed undone." Was ever this quote more to the point? Plaza Toro: How the Deed was Done Or, How I Finally "Won" Back to MWAN #115 Table of Contents Back to MWAN List of Issues Back to MagWeb Magazine List © Copyright 2002 Hal Thinglum This article appears in MagWeb (Magazine Web) on the Internet World Wide Web. Other military history articles and gaming articles are available at http://www.magweb.com