With apologies to Dr. Seuss...
Such a picturesque view, if one were to say.
The valley, the village, how snowflakes did sway.
But one stood alone, on a rocky out-crop,
in front of its lair, at the top of a drop.
Quite like one of them, this so-named Eudaimun,
Mauve skin and green hair, each eye like a sun.
As the scenery blanched away from his stare,
Of tidings of joy, he was just not aware.
For all down in Zooville, the alive and the dead,
Were not stirring, you see, in the grave or the bed.
"It's too quiet," he mused, while drumming his fingers,
"Where's laughing and parties? With loud drunken singers?"
The Zoos all in Zooville were a practical bunch,
and the holiday season, had long lost its punch.
'Practical' we say, but more from compassion,
These Zoos, truth be told, gave gifts too in fashion.
"Tis much like last year," Eudaimun did grieve.
"It's painful to watch, the gifts they receive."
"They'll wake up at dawn, slip on slippers so furry,
And away to the gifts, they'll scurry and hurry."
"They'll search and they'll search, through ribbons and tags,
to find all their boxes, packages and bags."
"They'll shred all the paper, unwrap their surprises.
And as soon as they look, they'll all have a crisis."
Eudaimun shuddered slightly at the memory stored,
of war-gamers in shock, and no precious hoard.
"Oh, they'll smile and nod, and whisper their thanks.
But they'll secretly say, 'I wish it was tanks.'"
"I've seen it before, these gifts of less use,
more clothing for drawers, or gadgets obtuse."
"The day will soon end, morose and besotten,
The gifts, in a week, will soon be forgotten."
Eudaimun did shiver, and then made a vow.
"No more proper gifts! Only fun ones! But how?"
Apace he did pace, for it helped him to think,
Then exclaimed: "Aha!" with a grin and a wink.
Off into his cave, he hurried so quick.
The day was a wane, night coming on thick.
Gunning the engine, of truck white as snow,
With its four wheel drive, away he doth go.
Cutting ignition, he rolled into town,
The Zoos were asleep, with nary a sound.
He carried a bag, while dressed up in blues,
Slunk down the chimneys, and out past the flues.
He gathered up trinkets, and doo-dads, and tools.
replaced by Couriers, Gauntlets, M-WANs with rules.
He snatched up knick-knacks, and fruitcakes congealed,
left Napoleon, First Empire, and Battlefield.
Lone Warriors and Saga, and Abanderado.
Zouave, ECW Times, and also El Dorado.
With articles by Scruby, Featherstone, and Wells,
the goldmines of knowledge, where genius dwells.
Eudaimun was quiet, as he skulked far and near.
He left subscriptions good for a year.
He finished all right, at a quarter to dawn.
"In St. Nick of time," he smirked with a yawn.
With truck piled high, he gunned the old beast,
It creaked and it groaned, but it moved to the east.
Onward and upward, to climb elevation,
to the top of the top, of Mount Domination.
With grinding of gears, and a thump and a bump,
reached the edge of a ledge, of the Zooville town dump.
There he paused for a bit, as light lit the skies,
with a hand to his ear, to hear the surprise.
For no cries were heard. No anguish. No grief.
No outrage at all, at Eudaimun the thief.
Instead came such glee, as was not heard before,
As grown men talked tanks, and spears and Third Corp.
The wives were aghast, the girlfriends had shudders.
'It's tabletop wars!' moaned significant others.
Befuddled they huddled, then these hens released pecks.
But the manly Zoo-men, passed all morale checks.
Then the Zoo-men did coo, and calmed stormy weathers,
"My hobby...my fun." which soothed ruffled feathers.
Eudaimun pushed away, while thinking of this,
as the truck and the presents, rolled off precipice.
"My mission accomplished," he said as he hiked,
"With fun in their hands, and the 'practical' spiked."
Then he sang such a song, that he started to dance,
"All we are play-ing...are old wars with chance..."
Now, to the magazines...
Age of Napoleon -- #30, #31; 48pgs.; 8.5x12"; PQ A, WR A, IR A; On Military Matters, 55 Taylor Terr., Hopewell, NJ 08525; $42 per year, bimonthly. Frequency is becoming very consistent and now has national distribution via the newsstand--good job Dave on the business end and Richard for the editorial end! There's more color, which is good, but one nit for the art director--stop running colored text atop a colored background--it is incredibly difficult to read.
#31: A Russian special issue with uniforms and skirmish tactics 1807, Col. Elting and others on Military Myths, Netherlands Korps Guides te Paard, Field Artillery Part III, British Battalion re-enactment, and more.
#30: A Busaco double feature, Battle of Ligny (with excellent 2-page spread map), French tactics, Achievements of Artillery, reviews, news, and more.
Battlefields -- #7, #8; 40pgs.; 8.5x12"; PQ A, WR A, IR A; On Military Matters, 55 Taylor Terr., Hopewell, NJ 08525; $42 per year, bimonthly. After a two-year hiatus, this UK magazine rolls back into stores and mailboxes with a new editor and what seems to be more color inside.
#8: Scenarios cover Zulus, War of Austrian Succession, El Teb 1884, Vimeiro 1808, Glenshiel 1719, and a "Space Marines" sci-fi jungle.
#7: Articles on battles of: Castillon 1453, Huascar Incident 1877, and Medina de Rioseco 1808. Wargame scenarios/rules for German commando raid in Ireland 1941, French in Russia 1812, and Flanders 1705. Review of Baccus 6mm Napoleonics British figures, philosophical piece on wargaming simulation, skirmisher morale rules, and more.
The Courier -- #76; 64pgs.; 8.5x11"; PQ A, WR A, IR A; PO Box 1878, Brockton, MA 02403; $19 quarterly ($34 for 2 years, $45 for 3 years). William Keyser's photography improves an already glossy mag as Dick gets back into the quarterly schedule.
#76: A load of reviews and news, a pair of WWII Operation Market Garden scenarios for Crossfire, grand tactical ancient rules, Battle of Eisendorf 1705 scenario, a Napoleonic Sharpe's Mess skirmish scenario, an age of sail scenario with the USS Essex vs. HMS Phoebe and HMS Cherub (off Chile, 1814), ASW for WWII naval miniatures, AWI Battle of Trenton scenario, article on making your own hex terrain, and more.
English Civil War Times -- #54; 40pgs.; 8.5x12"; PQ A, WR A, IR A; On Military Matters, 55 Taylor Terr., Hopewell, NJ 08525; $42 per year, bimonthly. Flags and standards, profiles of Sir Thomas Fairfax and Philip Skippon, March to Marston Moor, battle of Sherburn in Elmet, ECW Football (soccer), Musket Drill and more.
First Empire -- #46, #47, #48; 40pgs.; 8.5x12"; PQ A, WR A, IR A; On Military Matters, 55 Taylor Terr., Hopewell, NJ 08525; $42 per year, bimonthly. Wow! Eight years of publishing Napoleonic information. Love the new "3D" logo and the contents, as always, remain superb.
#48: Battles of Rolica (1808), Aspern-Essling (1809), New Orleans (1815), and Heilsburg (1807). Defence of Bernadotte's command ability in 1806, Napoleonic Association Artillery re-enactment, and more.
The Gauntlet--#15, #16; 100pgs; 5.5x8.5"; PQ B, WR B, IR A; Craig Martelle, 1203 English Bluff Ct., Brandon, FL 33511; $20 (4 issues), $30 for overseas customers (U.S. military FPO excluded); quarterly. #16: More Horseshoe Ridge, Korean War skirmish rules, Part 5 of Von Flashmann, post WWI Spartakist revolt in Germany rules, skirmish rules for SCW, Napoleon's Battle scenario 1814, ACW Battle of Walthal Junction 1864 scenario for Johnny Reb III, Battle of Ho-Kun-Pu 1904, and much more.
#15: Wargaming and history mix with an account of Ron Broward on Horseshow Ridge during the Korea War, table top battles covering the Renaissance, ancient Hittites vs. Myceneans, American Civil War 1864, Marengo 1800, and Medieval Tartars. Many Piquet articles cover optional rules, scenarios, and more. Reviews.
The General (formerly AH, now Hasbro)
I finally tracked down the right person at GenCon. It's dead. Not going to be revived, either.
Greenhill Military Book News 32 pgs.; 5.5"x8.5"; PQ B, WR C, IR A/C; Greenhill Books/Lionel Leventhal Ltd Park House, 1 Russell Gardens London NW11 9NN United Kingdom e-mail: LionelLeventhal@compuserve.com; $9 per year, published about 7 times a year New book releases, excerpts from some books, and general news about the book industry.
The Heliograph #111, #112, #113; 48pgs.; 8.5x11"; PQ B, WR B, IR A; Richard Brooks, Rte 6 Box 771, Saluda, SC 29138, USA, E-mail: brooks@saludasc.com ; $12 per 6 issues ($15 Canada, 15 pounds for Europe) Lots of new information about colonial figures, rules, books, and other products.
#113: Book and figure reviews, visit to Zululand and Musee Archeologie in Nimes, TSATF supplement for 19th C French and Italian Colonial Warfare, and the usual intesive product news.
#112: Singapore Mutiny 1915 wargame scenario, Azande Army overview, Ashanti Wars 1873-1874 Overview, Painting Guide, Green Hell Miniature Wargame Rules, and Action at Crocodile Crossing Wargame Replay, reviews, and more.
#111: brings you part III of the Spanish American War (Phillipine Insurrection) photos, as well as a pair of epics: French Foreign Legion at Camerone, and Lords of the Atlas 1912. Plus reviews, lots of news, letters, and more.
The Herald #29, #30; 48pgs.; 8.5x5.5"; PQ B, WR B, IR A; 2251 Wayne Madison Rd., Trenton, OH 45067, E-mail: mdemana@freenet.columbus.oh.us; $10 per 6 issues (US) From HMGS Great Lakes, an impressive magazine about chapter doings.
#30: WWII North Africa micro-armor scenario, convention coverage, Dark Ages campaign for Britannia, game reviews, calendar, Sikh War intro, and more.
#29: Small scale armies, SYW con, tournament memories, ACW ironclad miniatures tips, Dark Ages campaign for Britannia, game reviews, calendar, and a positive review of MagWeb by editor Mike Demana.
HMGS Dispatch -- June, July 1999; 40pgs.; 5.5x8.5"; PQ C, WR B, IR B; HMGS Mid-South, 101 Taylor Rd., Estill Springs, TN 37330; $10 per year (US) monthly. From HMGS Mid-South.
July: Philosophy of a wargame, scales in gaming, Kosovo matrix game, calendar, and more.
June: member list, a couple reviews.
April: contains loads of humorous articles poking fun at various topics.
March: includes articles on various systems.
Masters of Role Playing #7 1999; 96pgs.; 8.5x11"; PQ B, WR A, IR A; PO Box 114, American Fork, UT 84003; www.mastersrpg.com; $15 per year (US) 6 issues. #7: A great little gem of a sci-fi and fantasy magazine offering up wit and wisdom about RPGs. Key of Thala'Mar adventure, "Password" fiction, Part 3 of White Wolf fan created supplements on the Internet, deity worship, dragon demolition derby, lots of reviews, and a wickedly funny column on something called "LARPers" (live action role-players).
The Matrix Gamer. matrixgamer@juno.com e-mail magazine, roughly monthly. PQ N/A, WR A, IR B;
An intriguing concept for use as a game. This e-zine supports the Matrix Game.
#6A: Game Philosophy (Thales and Pythagoras), Romeo and Ethel the Pirate's Daughter: A Romance Matrix Game, USSA: A Matrix Game (Latest Turn Results), and World Building with Matrix: Games Design by Committee.
#6: Star Wars scenario, and the alternative history USSA scenario for Matrix Games
#5: Horatio Hornblower: The Wrong War (A Miniatures Scenario), The Air War in Kosovo We Won -- Now Can We Win the Peace? and At the Rubicon A PBEM Matrix Game with Caesar and Rome.
#4: focuses on Yugoslavia and other developments, plus how to build a foam cutter, and more.
The Naval Sitrep -- #15 (Oct 1998), #16 (Apr 1999); 32 pages; 8.5x11"; PQ A, WR A, IR A; Clash of Arms, Byrne Building #205, Lincoln and Morgan Streets, Phoenixville, PA 19460; $15 per year, quarterly. #16 is an especially strong issue with better writing (bumped up the WR rating) and lots of great info.
#16: Six Months of American Airpower Four Major Operations 1998-1999: Afghanistan and Iraq, Operation Hula overview of the proposed US-Soviet invasion of Japanese islands in 1945--and the actual Soviet invasion of the Kuriles. Introduction and seven parts. Ever Hear of Dolphin Codes?
Responses, so to speak. Book Review: Blind Man's Bluff Submarine operations against the USSR. And news.
#15: Das Flugzeungtrager der Graf Zeppelin The WWII German aircraft carrier that came close to being a reality--and the other four carriers on the drawing boards. Details of German carrier aircraft included. Japanese Minesweepers of WWII and their fates, Japanese WWII Merchant Ship Data specifications for caro, tanker, and ore ships, Battle of Pala Passage 1943, The Spatlys
China decides to capture an island chain from Vietnam circa 1998 scenario, US Navy Chief's Reading List 1998, Book Review: Sailing New Seas Change in the Modern US Navy, plus a variety of modern news.
The Nugget -- #135, #136, and #137; 32 pages; 5.5x8.5"; PQ B, WR B, IR A; Wargames Developments, 84 Eglinton Hill, Shooters Hill, London SE18 3DY warden@dircon.co.uk; 9x a year, 15 British pounds
#137: Good overview of storming medieval walls--and committing atrocities (!?)--and bibliography. A couple matrix games, and other news.
#136: Budget crisis game, Kosovo and Crusades Matrix games, a pub crawl game, and more.
#135: Remember the Maine Sp-Am War naval rules, interesting philosophical pieces on digesting historical information in game design, plus the goodly assortment of news.
Operations -- #32; 32 pages; 8.5"x11"; PQ A, WR A, IR A/D; The Gamers, 500 W 4th St., Homer, IL 61849; $16 per year (US), $24 (overseas), quarterly. House organ for The Gamers brings history and boardgaming together.
#32: Lodz 1914: The First Blitzkrieg, Campaign Planning military precepts, and game support for Gazala, Ardennes, Gettysburg, and Stalingrad games. tactical problems and solutions, news, and opinions round out the issue.
Osprey Military Journal -- preview issue; 32pgs; 8.25"x11"; PQ A, WR A, IR A; 8246 Holly Grove Ct., Manassas, VA 20110; $45 per year, bi-monthly.
The Osprey journals now do a magazine that will be 64 pages when launched. It's full of historical articles from every era with the usual mix of Osprey color and B&W illustrations. Battles of USS Nevada at Pearl Harbour, Brandy Station, Boer War gaming, Lissa 1866, news, game reviews, and more.
The Penny Whistle -- #41; 16 pages; 8.5"x11"; PQ B, WR B, IR B; The Penny Whistle, 1205 Allendale Dr., Greenwood, MO 64034; $12 per year, bimonthly. The Final Battle: Berlin 1945 Historical Background, Game Scenario Order of Battle and Charts, and Game Map.
Perfidious Albion #99 (June 1999), 48 pgs.; 5.5x8.5"; PQ B, WR A, IR B; 75 Richmond Park Rd., East Sheen, London, SW14 8JY UK; 2.10 pounds (UK), 2.9 pounds (airmail to US); published "irregular in frequency" Speaking of getting close to the magic 100 issues...
#99: Reviews of Poitiers 1356 and Formigny 1450, Iena!, Rivoli, La Bataille de Friedland, La Bataille De Lutzen, La Bataille Du Matz, Denain, Alesia, Crete 1941, Les Pyramides, La Bataille du Matz, and others. Also, 14 reviews of military history books, game strategies, news, and more.
Piquet Dispatch Quarterly -- Vol. 1 Issue 4; 108pgs; 5.5x8.5"; PQ B, WR B, IR A; 165 Charles St., Vestal, NY 13850. imac100@aol.com; $25 for four issues.
In probably the biggest boost in pages, Piquet Dispatch Quarterly jumped from 16 to 108 pages (actually 100 pages as 8 are blank for "notes")! And it went to a higher quality print, so I bumped up the PQ rating. This house organ for Piquet is a must have for Piquet players--scenarios, house rules, comments and feedback, new products, errata, and more. Scernario included: Franco-Austrian War June 24 1859, and Stamford Bridge Sept 25 1066. Some of the house rules are quite clever.
Revival -- #1; 32pgs.; 8.5x12"; PQ A, WR B, IR B; Yorkshire Post Magazines, PO Box 168, Wellington St., Leeds LS1 1RF; 12 British pounds per year, bimonthly.
A new magazine covering re-enactments offers profiles of how re-enacting is done and some profiles on various units. It is very colorful, wonderful as a guide for uniform painting, and contains almost no history--no battles, campaigns, etc. No miniatures either. But really nifty photos.
Saga #69 (March-May 1999), #70 (June-July 1999) 48pgs; 5.5x8.5"; PQ B, WR A, IR A; SAGA, 890 Janes Rd., Rochester, NY 14612; $25 per year ($30 Canada, $35 elsewhere), bimonthly. Congrats to Terry for winning an award at Origins '99 for his rules Medieval Warfare! Saga, in part, supports Terry's rules, but also examines Ancients, Dark Ages, and Medieval history and products.
#70: Battle and Death of King Harold at Hastings, October 14, 1066, The Khazar Kingdom: A Unique Medieval Experiment, Late Roman Army, Havoc Battle Report on Alexandrian Successor Wars, Descriptions of Dark Age and Medieval Armies (Part 7), Evaluating Historians: Research and Results, Replicating Tactical Historical Outcomes, book reviews, rules updates, and more.
#69: Account of the Battle of Hattin 1187, Orewin Bridge and the Fall of Wales 1282, Descriptions of Dark Age and Medieval Armies Part 6, Magyar Dawn Medieval Warfare Battle and Rules Playtest for Nikephorian Byzantines vs Early Hungarians, convention coverage Cold Wars '99 and Fall In '98, A Simple Campaign Scenario for Biblical Ancients and Chariot Period, Taking Advantage of the Internet Wargaming Resources, and more.
Seven Years War Asso. Journal 64 pgs.; 8.5x5.5"; PQ B, WR A, IR: A; Jim Purky 3127 Park Place Evanston, IL 60201 E-mail: jpurky@aol.com; $30 per year.
New editor Jim Mitchell will be taking over this excellent 7YW journal--and will now include a color cover. Met Jim at Historicon--and the sample covers look good!
Shadi -- Now on hiatus.
Slingshot--#203, #204; 62 pgs.; 8.5x12"; PQ A, WR A, IR: A; Society of Ancients, Richard Jeffrey-Cook, Mabar, Blackheath Lane, Wonersh, Guildford, GU5 0PN UK; $25/year, bimonthly. membership@soa.org.uk
Thick and full of ancient to medieval information, gaming, product reviews, and more. Generally short articles, some B&W illustrations to accompany some of them.
#204: Thai/Indonesia ancients boats, 11th C. shields of Ireland, 11th C. plains indians, 15th C Russia, Bithynians, and more.
#203: Worringen 1288, Hawaiian armies, Nordic Bronze Age, and interesting piece on Troy archeological excavations, and more.
White Dwarf -- #any -- 96pgs.; 8.5x11"; PQ A, WR C, IR B/F; Games Workshop, $50 per year, monthly
This colorful house organ seems to have steadied at 96 pages--far down from its ambitious "Fat Dwarf" era of a year or so ago. I still like the dark sci-fi and fantasy settings, but too many advertorials masquerading as articles in this "catalog" make it somewhat superfluous. Note that the Vampire coach model is devastatingly cool with two skeleton horses pulling a coffin-shaped Victorian-era style funeral wagon. Interesting that they're selling back issues at 5 British pounds for 3 issues.
White Knight -- #12, #11, #10, #9 (1998-9) --24 pgs.; 8.5x11"; PQ B, WR B, IR B; Bill Brierton Pegasus-Unicorn Productions 12420 Old Colony Dr. Upper Marlboro, MD 20772-5000 kheled@juno.com; $8 year, quarterly. A goodly amount of sci-fi and fantasy news, a look at the Undead, some fiction, a historical survey of the hag; tips, tricks, and techniques of running various RPGs; lots of news and press releases; fiction; and other imagination-provoking articles.
The Zouave 40 pgs.; 8.5x11"; PQ A, WR A, IR A; Marek/Janci Design, 725 Ranch Rd., Wheaton, IL 60187. mjdesign@eagle.ais.net; $24 per year ($28 Canada, $32 Overseas) The Zouave now goes to a numbering system -- the current issue is #49 -- as Ivor continues to design graphic excellence. Very Colorful!
#49: Battles of Turner's Gap, Fox's Gap, McLemore's Cove, and an 1862 Sioux Uprising. ACW Product reviews, and more.
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© Copyright 1999 Hal Thinglum
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