Last years hit movie "Shakespeare in love" was well loved in the Engle household. We especially liked the play Will was working on. You know...Romeo and Ethel. And were much saddened when he changed the theme to produce Romeo and Juliet (pure drivel). On coming home my wife beat me to the punch and suggested that Romeo and Ethel would make a great Matrix Game. I say beat me, because I invariable say this about every movie we see. Terri then did one better and suggested that I do it as an event at GenCon. I love a challenge. How to do a romantic comedy adventure about a play that never existed that is in keeping with the spirit of Shakespearean theater. Not an easy task, but past experiments have shown that harlequin romance stories can be done using Matrix Games, so why not Elizabethan drivel? It should be a breeze. Each game requires a clear outline of what needs to happen. In this case the action is to act out the story of the play. So there is a cast of characters, descriptions of where scenes are located at, and a question on each character card that asks how the character is going to fulfill a certain task by the end of the play. Will Shakespeare, his producer and the audience are included in the cast so that as in "Shakespeare in Love" they can become part of the play. The rules to run the game are the basic MG rules found on my web page http://www.io.com/~hamster Basically, players pick a character to champion, make one argument at turn, which the referee rules on, and are resolved by dice rolls. Conflicts in this game will more likely be of a romantic nature rather than military but this requires no changes to the rules. Simple! ELIZABETHAN DRAMA In modern times we tend to romanticize the theater of Shakespeare and Marlow. Visions of Lawrence Olivier and the Royal Shakespeare company come to mind. As do memories of being forced to read Romeo and Juliet (and in my school Julius Caesar as well) high school. How wrong that view is!!! The theater was a low a bawdy place. There is a reason why women were not allowed on stage. Acting was considered just one step above prostitution! It was bad enough that women were allowed to attend productions. All the blood, sex and violence. Oh my! What will it do to the younger generation? So a game about a "great" play like Romeo and Ethel has full license to scrape the bottom of the barrel of bad taste. Every bad pun that can be imagined, rude innuendo, bloody fight, every sin of over acting - they all fit the time. In fact the players don't have to know Shakespeare to know what to do. Anyone who has watch the Jerry Springer show or watched a day time soap opera knows what needs to happen. With that it is time to begin the game. First read the scene setter to the players. SETTING THE SCENE For years the evil King of Pirates has plundered the seas of the Mediterranean. For his secret base he strikes out to capture ships and put their crews to the sword. Worse than any Moor, his band of cut throats threatens to wreck the control of Spain over the Christian world. His most Catholic Majesty, the Duke Alfonso of Naples has gathered a large fleet to seek out this renegade and bring him to justice. Before he can do this he has to find the blaggard. So he has sent out his fastest ships to scout. One of these vessels carries his loyal servant Romeo and his kinsman Mercuscio. As fate would have it (or at least a convenient plot divise) Romeo's ship encounters The Revenge, the ship of the Pirate King. After a brief battle, the pirate ship prevails. Oh, no! The play begins with Romeo and his friends being brought in front of the Pirate King and his blood thirsty crew. THE CAST OF CHARACTERS ROMEO: Ethel, thy name means beauty. Abandon thy father and for sake his ways or I will forsake mine to roam the seas to kill and mame. Q: How will I prevail and get the girl? ETHEL: Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou Romeo. Beware, least my father kill thee. He is a drunken lout but honor dictates I obey him. But what a cost to obey the one and slay my heart! Q: How will I get my man and survive the play? MERCUSCIO: Oh faithless lover! Truly thou art mad. Queen Mab has beguiled you with this pirate hussy. I am wounded. Neither as deep as a well or as wide as a church door, but twill do. Fool! Romeo! Wasn't this suppose to be my play? Q: How will I over act, steal every scene I'm in, and die in a senseless battle? THE PIRATE KING: Once more into the breech my friends. Once more and fill it with their cowardly dead. So those not with us will count themselves accursed, who'll have no share of the loot we took on St Crispin's day. Q: How will I make peace with Alfonso and keep my men happy? TIBBLE: Frailty, thy name is woman! Ethel, cousin, slutt! How can thou love what would kill us. Look anon at yonder Neapolitan fleet. Alfonso, master of your lover comes to destroy us. Q: How will I defend my families honor? NURSE: Ethel "Dear Nurse, labor for me." Nurse "Truly no, my lady. I've not labored for thee. Thy poor departed mother did labor. I merely watched. Soon I hope to watch thee labor." Q: How will I aid Ethel in her quest for love? JULIET: Anon, Anon, I come lady. To do thy bidding and carry thy message of love to sweet Romeo. And I will show him my love as well. See, I bring him this most splendid turnip... Q: Just how much like a cow can I act? BALTHAZAR: I prithy Lord, how may I serve thee? Thy father commanded that I protect you on this voyage and I will not fail in my duty. Q: How can I do Romeo's bidding without drawing any attention to myself? ELBOW: By God's teeth, I'll crack the head of any man who calls me a snail eater! A pirate's life for me. Q: How can I provide comedy relief? TOUCHSTONE: Mercuscio "You, sir, are an ass." Touchstone "An Ass! Elbow you heard this and can testify to the King that I am an ass." Elbow "Oh yes Touchstone, I can definitely testify that you are an Ass." Q: How can I provide comedy relief? TOPAZ: Beware mates. They say these waters be full of mystical beasts. Elves, fairies, pookas! We'll be lucky to escape with our lives. Q: How can I provide comedy relief. CALABAN: I am sore wronged. The King promised his daughter to me! ME!!! You can't have her. I call on all creatures fair and wild. Grant me your power. Show me the magic! Q: How can I look ominous and cringe at the same time? DUKE ALFONSO: Oh to be in Naples now that spring is here. Our fleet assembled, our spies placed. All is ready to bring the pirates to justice. Soon... Q: How will I capture the pirates and ensure that true love prevails? REX THE DOG: Look at me! I'm a dog. I'm soooo cute. The crowd loves me. Q: How will I steal every scene I'm in? WILL SHAKESPEARE: What a horrible play! This is my worst one ever. Can I sink lower? What won't I do for money? More blood! Shorten those skirts! Kit Marlow wouldn't do this. Q: How can I pull this together into a working play and still save a shred of my dignity? THE PRODUCER: My lord Will! This is magnificent! Your best work yet! We'll make a fortune! But where is the dog? Q: How can I get Will to relinquish the last few tattered shreds of his self respect? THE AUDIENCE: HAR! HAR! HAR! I like the bit with the dog. More sex! More violence! Blood! Blood! Blood makes the grass grow! Q: How will I heckle the players without shutting the play down? ETHEL'S UNDERSTUDY: Will? Can I talk to you? You know how much I like you. I'd do anything for you. Could I get Ethel's role? You know I'm better at it. Q: How can I connive to get the part without wrecking the whole show? THE LOCATIONS THE REVENGE: The ship of the Pirate King. At the beginning of the game it has just captured the ship carrying Romeo, Mercuscio and Balthazar. THE ISLAND OF CALABAN: A small island that used to only support Calaban and his goats. Now it houses the base of the Pirate King. THE PIRATE BASE: A dock, a warehouse, a prison cell and a great hall where the pirates drink and fight. THE NEAPOLITAN FLEET: The mighty armada of Duke Alfonso. Capable of beating any pirate ship encountered. NAPLES: The city where everyone is from. The seat of Duke Alfonso. MOVEMENT Romeo and Ethel does not use a formal map. Instead the locations are represented on cards. Characters can move around freely inside areas. Players must use arguments to move from one area to another. Some locations (the ships) can move themselves. This is always done by an argument. EXAMPLE OF PLAY Tom, Dick, Harry, and Joe decide to play "Romeo and Ethel the Pirates Daughter." They get Chris to be their referee. They chose to run Romeo, Ethel, Tibble and Mercuscio. Chris Starts the game by reading the scene setter for them. The players then read their character cards to one another to introduce themselves. Then Chris asks them to make their first arguments. Helping them out by asking the question "If this were any other kind of game and you could do whatever you wanted to, what would you want to do?" ROMEO/TOM: The Pirate King sees the obvious nobility of Romeo and Mercuscio and decides to spare them. "These varlets may prove useful hostages." REFEREE/CHRIS: Strong. It will happen on a roll of 3,4,5,6. Don't roll yet! Everyone rolls at the same time because some of your arguments may be logically inconsistent. ETHEL/DICK: The Revenge returns to the Pirate base. REFEREE: Strong, 3,4,5,6. TIBBLE/HARRY: "Uncle! These swine are Neapolitan Spies! We should kill them and hang their heads from the yard arms." REFEREE: Weak, 5,6. If it happens it will trigger a conflict over whither the King executes the hero or not. It is also logically inconsistent with Tom's argument. You can't kill them and not kill them in the same turn! MERCUSCIO/JOE: Elbow and Touchstone size up Mercuscio and comment on his fashion sense. "This man has no soul! Where is his epaulette?" Mercuscio chastises them for their impudence. REFEREE: Strong, 3,4,5,6. If it happens it will trigger a conflict between Mercuscio and two of the blood thirsty pirates. The referee asks the unopposed players to roll first. Dick rolls a 4, so the Revenge goes back to base. Joe rolls a 3, so Mercuscio fights with Elbow and Touchstone. Then the referee has Tom and Harry do a dice rolling contest. They roll for their own arguments. They keep on rolling till only one argument is still in play. Tom Harry 3, succeed 5, succeed 2, fail 4, fail 4, succeeded 1, failed Tom succeeds, so the Pirate King spares the heroes. "Now I decide who is the strongest in the conflict between Mercuscio and the goons. Hummm, hero, comic relief, hero, comic relief. Clearly Mercuscio is in the strongest position. Joe gets the first shot at defining what happened. If he fails then Harry can argue for the pirates." Says the referee. JOE: Elbow and Touchstone do make a move on Merscusio but he says "Rat catcher! Thieves! Killers! I will teach you manners!" A furious fight ensues but Mercuscio prevails. The two pirates are cowed. REFEREE: Strong, 3,4,5,6. Joe rolls a 2, and fails! The referee asks Harry to make an argument for the Pirates. HARRY: Elbow and Touchstone goad Mercuscio into a fight. They sucker punch him and knock him out. "HAR, HAR! Showed him!" REFEREE: Average, 4,5,6. Harry rolls a 6 so Mercuscio loses his fight. It is now time for the next turn. AFTERWARD So there you have it. A very different Matrix Game scenario. As of the time of writing it has not actually been played. That will happen at Gen Con in two weeks. I'll let you know how it comes out. Back to Table of Contents -- Matrix Gamer #6A To Matrix Gamer List of Issues To MagWeb Master Magazine List © Copyright 1999 by Chris Engle. This article appears in MagWeb (Magazine Web) on the Internet World Wide Web. 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