When I was first getting into adventure gaming and running my first dungeons, I had a tendency to be a bit over-generous in rewarding the players. As a result, there were many times when one of my magic items or awards would come back to haunt me. For example, a major portion of a carefully plotted episode was wiped out when the 56th level Fighter pulled out his Rod of Tactical Nukes. Usually, after a few of these occurrences, the Gamemaster (GM) gets tired of having his adventures heavily mauled. He either starts escalating the monsters' abilities and hit points to a level where they can withstand some of the more powerful characters, or occasionally drops a jovian-sized thunderbolt on the head of the feckless wight who ruined his lovely scenario. Unfortunately, the former option tends to make it a little difficult for lower level characters to survive. And the second causes a lot of bad blood in a gaming group. After watching one gaming group fall to pieces when I used the escalation method, and losing a friend to the thunderbolt option, I decided there had to be a better way to handle the situation. Luckily for me, there appeared on the horizon two particular new monster types which solved many of my problems in this area. They are very easy to run, and have other fortuitous side-effects which appear when they are employed in most dungeons or adventures. They can become a "campaign cleanup crev~;" bringing the overall levels of the player characters down a bit by disappearing with some of the very powerful magic items. First Monster The first new "monster" is actually, a generic description that includes monsters of all species. These unfortunates are referred to as "Torquis." One can meet them frequently even today as clerks in retail stores; government officials; even while driving down the road-they are the total incompetents, and they wreak havoc on the rest of the race. The Torqui can resemble any species; take only one-half a damage point; and have an armor class so low that all strikes are successful. Torquis attack in a flurry, of blows, always missing their intended targets except on a critical hit, when they hit themselves. A Torqui never does manage to kill himself--it just seems that way it would appear that these are completely useless creatures to have as monsters in any adventure situation. However, if you kill a Torqui or even help to do so, you lose substantially in experience: a full level in games which use levels, or hefty GM-determined penalties in games which are skill based. You see, the gods protect fools and small children, and Torquis qualify under both categories. The side-effect to putting the occasional Torqui in the way of your adventuring parties is that the "kick open the door and kill it!" syndrome is quickly replaced by "find out what it is before you attack." The first time a 9th level fighter kicks down a door, and ruthlessly slaughters the four goblins there, only to then emerge as a 5th level fighter, people will begin to think about this untoward occurrence. When a party surrounds and slays a blue dragon that has been hitting the walls, the ceiling, the floor, but not its attackers, only to discover actions have resulted in the loss of a fair portion of experience for their efforts, the players start to think a little. Soon, the Gamemaster has players and characters who are willing to talk a bit instead of mindless slaughter. Fewer doors get kicked down, and the general level of the adventurers in the parties usually declines a bit. Suddenly, the campaign is manageable once more! The Groupies Another member of the "campaign cleanup crew" is called the "Groupie," An illustrative encounter is in order. While a party is exploring in a small enclosed area, they discover two maidens. As the most powerfully equipped member of the group approaches, they gaze at him with wonder-filled eyes, and in awe-struck tones ask, "Gee! Are you really powerful magic-user?" This seems to be an innocent encounter, and a straightforward question. But see what the outcome can be! if the character answers in the affirmative, the girls squeal with ecstasy and fasten themselves to his legs in total adoration. Instantly a horde (hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands!) of sweet young things, screaming in adulation, appear, knock our bewildered hero to the ground, and strip him of every possession he has upon him. The girls shortly run off, waving their souvenirs in the air and yelling, "I've got his sword! I've got his bracer! Thats nothing!-I've got his underwear!" The poor wretch is left naked and shivering. Any items pilfered by the youngsters are gone forever. Have you ever tried to find something in a teenager's room? Groupies are extremely useful for ridding campaigns of unwanted magic items. I can still hear the anguished screams of a player character of excessive levels who had acquired an indexed bag of infinite holding after he humped into Groupies one night in a dungeon and .... Once a few encounters with the adoring maidens have occurred on the adventures for their characters, a valuable item that can disappear very easily is more likely to be left behind. There is also another side-effect to the use of Groupies in a campaign. After a few parties have met Groupies, the mere sight of two or three young, nubile wenches will lead to thoughts of escape rather than the usual, less polite ideas. A thoughtful Gamemaster can drive parties in what- ever directions he desires by carefully stationing a pair of young girls in the way of the group. An immediate about-face is the normal response. There are only two ways have yet been discovered to combat Groupies. The first is to make improper advances to the girls, This will lead to instant disillusionment on the part of the youngsters, and they will wander off disconsolately. The disillusioned girls with smaller than normal horde of compatriots will follow the party booing, cat-calling, and pelting the group with soft vegetables. It's quite difficult to maintain a partys anonymity in such raucous and smelly circumstances! The other method merely directs the maidens to another player. When the girls purred their fatal questions at one player, he replied, "No, but he is!" He pointed at one of the other members of the party Needless to say the other party member became their "victim." No stats are provided for either of these two monster types, since they are unnecessary. Torquis should be used only for relatively intelligent monster species. It's not fair to make an unintelligent species into Torquis since the party will have no chance at all of being right if they do try communication with their erstwhile opponents. Groupies are too uncombattable--they're basically a garbage removal service, and who would want to get close enough to learn their statistics? Another suggestion for a "relief' monster is the guardian type whos impervious to damage and impossible to pass with standard combat procedures-the "Unbeatable Foe." He shouldn't damage the party too much at first, but if the characters continue to fight, they deserve what they're about to get-killed! The Unbeatable Foe is, however, quite greedy. He can easily be bribed to allow the party to pass, Any high-powered magical item or items will suffice.' Surprise One benefit all three "monsters" provide is the reinsertion of an element of surprise into adventuring. Even experienced plavers will be surprised as they encounter Torquis, Groupies, or the Unbeatable Foe. Other suggestions for putting surprise and some laughter back into campaigns is to re- member the non-player characters (NPCs). For instance, the customs agent who is always there, ready to collect when treasure is found. The local bard who's very willing to sing the praises of his paying patron. The patron could be the party's eneemy. The local drunks ('nuf said!), whose search for drink can cause the party many uneasy or comical moments. Young children who are mischievous, usually involving garbage, spitballs, dead cats, and affronts to dignity Cantankerous litde old ladies; very slow, and very dangerous when armed with walking sticks'. But what plaver wants to be known as the grandmother slayer? A few of these odd and not so odd types scattered about generate a bit of levity for a party, while leaving the Gamemaster in control. Back to Table of Contents -- Game News #1 To Game News List of Issues To MagWeb Master Magazine List © Copyright 1999 by Dana Lombardy. 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