As editor of The Europa Magazine, I have had the opportunity to see or hear about many types of Europa players. And believe me, there are all kinds out there. See if you recognize any of these thumbnail descriptions.

The Accountant

Carries a thick notebook containing all the data from previous games, along with numerous blank homemade charts to be filled out during play. Thinks a full-blown logistics system is long overdue.

The Aryan

Only plays the German side. Has no qualms about loss of Axis-Allied units. Shrugs it off and says, "They're only Hungarians:" Constantly maintains "Hitler was right"

The Historian

Has at least one wall of game room covered with books on WW2. Has never actually played a game of Europa, but merely collects the series for its value as a historical reference source.

The Doubting Thomas

Doesn't believe the Axis can win FitE/SE. When told of games the Axis won, discounts it as the result of Brandenburger abuse.

The Researcher

Compares each order of battle against a vast array of research materials. If it matches, announces, "The game played well and I had fun." If it doesn't, writes long nasty letters to the editor.

The Slob

Can't seem to keep each stack of units in only one hex. Impossible to tell whether or not the cat slept on his game board. Frequently has counters sticking to the underside of his arm.

The Perfectionist

Turns each unit to a different orientation as it moves. When playing a slob is compelled to proclaim at frequent intervals, "I can't stand it any longer!" as he straightens the slob's stacks. Keeps all units presorted by arrival date per the order of battle.

The Teacher

Seeks out new Europa players and "teaches" them the system by beating their brains out. Eventually runs up against a fast learner and starts to lose midway through the game. Suddenly becomes extremely preoccupied with "other interests," such as finding another, more easily beaten novice.

The Rules Lawyer

Reads rule, "All c/m divisions and cadres have one point of intrinsic light AA:" Then insists with conviction that all of his infantry cadres have one point of intrinsic light AA, as, after all, the rule clearly states "All... cadres have one point of intrinsic light AA."

The Turkey

Proclaims, "I intend to record the movement of all of your units as they move." As opponent balks, threatens to sweep all the counters off the table onto the floor. And it isn't even his house or game!

The Visitor

Does not own any Europa games, but enjoys the system. Willing to play as long as you buy the game and keep it set up at your house.

The Wife

Tells you that if the visitor comes over one more weekend, the marriage is over. Ends with, "You need to pick up that game anyway-my mother is coming to visit next week and she needs the table for her needlepoint."

The Divorce

Explains that he and his wife had been having prob1ems for a long time; you secretly worry that these revolved around the game of Scorched Earth you have been playing with him for the past three years.

The Avenger-in-Waiting

An extremely competitive chap. Only plays face-to-face using time limits and percentile dice, preparing for the long awaited day when he can get a certain smartass editor of The Europa Magazine across the table and thoroughly kick his butt.