Few of the people who play games have ever personally experienced war. I haven't. It seems doubtful that anyone would be to eager to do so after seeing how deadly war can be. It just isn't rational to stand up and charge a machinegun! But soldiers DO! This is an intriguing psychological event. A closer look at this subject tells a lot about what morale really is. Rather than go out and visit a war, accompanied by all the dangers that go with that, it may be possible to find analogs of warfare in experiences much closer to home. At its roots the experience of battle seems to have an number of characteristics. They are group activities which involve much planning and coordination. They involve an element of risk and fear. They are marked by long periods of waiting, with brief intervals of frantic activity. And no matter how much "work" is done, they are exhausting! There is one experience that most everyone goes through at some time or other that has the exact same over all characteristics: MARRIAGE! Huh? some of you are probably saying. How can a wedding ceremony be anything like getting shot at? Physically it bears no similarity, of course (unless you are from an area where "Shotgun" marriages occur). It is on the emotional level that the correlation becomes plan. The rest of this article deals with an example of how one marriage (my own) is an emotional analog of war. . War [King Richard forms the intention to invade his neighbor, the King of France. He desires to take possesion of that kings lands and people with the intention of merging the two kingdoms.) After a period of courting my to be wife, Terri, I decided to ask her to marry me. This is one of those big important life decisions so I readily admit feeling a certain measure of fear when I finally made up my mind. My intention to merge our two lives was made, so what to do next? [To begin the war, King Richard consults with his advisers. With their full approval he sends out his heralds to convey the challenge to war to the enemy king. The court astrologers pointed out various ill omens but the King refused to call back his envoys.) I waited to propose to Terri for a month after my decision due to her being in classes (Grad school). I sounded out my family to see what their reaction to my move might be and found it to be universally positive. So on the weekend after finals I drove up to Bloomington from my home in Jasper to propose. Along the way 3 deer bolted across the road in front of me. one of the beasts broad sided my truck. It shook me up a little but I went on and that evening asked Terri to marry me. [The king of France meets Richards challenge favorable but he declares that before any action may take place the herald must deliver his message in a ritually prescribed manner to the French college of heralds. This is done in a speedy manner.) Terri agreed to my suit but said that she would need me to ask her father for his consent before we could proceed. This was acceptable to me, so the next week we made the three hour drive down to Evansville to see her parents. Terri's dad was somewhat surprised to be asked for his consent (it is after all sort of anacronistic) but he readily gave it. Terri later told me that she viewed my asking her father as a test of the seriousness of my suit. A person who was not willing to meet this one element of ritual is unlikely to meet other ritual obligations as well. She also told me that her father's answer was not really that important since I was the one making the offer. [The challenge being accepted, the heralds of the two sides begin to negotiate about a time for their encounter. Both sides agree that the campaign season is too far gone for any effective fight to happen this year. Consequently they decide to wage war beginning next year.] I had no firm timeframe in mind regarding when to hold the marriage, so when Terri told me that it would take a year to plan it, well, I agreed. We could have done it quicker, but it would have been a rushed affair. [The rest of the year is filled with both England and France making preparations for the eventualy battle. The principal captains and troops are recruited and trained. A site for the battle is established via a series of skirmishes between the loyal retainers who take to the field during the first campaign season.] Both Terri and I chose the various members of the wedding party. Best men and bride's maids, as well as several ushers. This made me feel a little nervous. Fortunately this act involves talking to people I know very well so it wasn't too uncomfortable. We were not totally traditional in our choises since one of my best "men" was a woman. Terri and I were the ones who picked out where the wedding would happen. To be honest Terri did most of the work here with me in a consulting role. We settle on the local C of E church (of which denomination I am a dissenting calvinist member). This action also was not too uncomfortable. (Plans for provisions, arms, and armor are made. Clerks from the cathedral write letter after letter requesting this or that. All the knights in the kingdom learn of the impending conflict so they can be ready to come when the call to arms is sounded.] Word of mouth spread the news of our engagement. For the most part though the action was taking place with the principals involved in the wedding. Terri and her bride's maids dove into the minutia of planning a wedding. This seemed to decrease her anxiety about it. No so me. I found that there were more pressing matters to be dealt with. Consequently I spent a lot of time not thinking about the wedding. [As winter sets in the first campaign season ends. Both sides retreat into inactivity during the winter months. Only the armorers keep at work in preparation for the next campaign season. The two kings supervise the labor but generally stay out of the way.] During the fall and winter both Terri and I turned to other activities. I was settling into my new job in Martinsville, while Terri had school to attend to. By late winter, wedding planing started to return to the fore. I purchased a suit to wear. The other principals also arranged their fancy clothes. [Just prior to the start of the campaign season, the call to arms is sounded. The knights of the realm hither to uninvolved join the king's standard. Final arrangements for provisions come together as provisioners, teamsters, and muleteers transport the necessities of war to the battle field.] A month before the wedding we sent out the invitations. All the family members I've not seen in years were given their official notice to come and watch the show. The wedding cake was ordered. Terri's dress was still not done so more pressure was put on the bride's maid to get working. Fortunately the food front was well covered by my brother and a group of friends from the local medieval reenactment society. [The level of tension at court grows daily. As the activity increases in anticipation of the war, some over worked clerks are short with the knights. Even King Richard seems a little haggered. They say he is sleeping fitfully. His appetite is off and he is a little forgetful.) I had a lot of symptoms of physical stress during the last week before the wedding. I could no longer put off thinking about what was going to happen. Making a life long-commitment is scary. My ability to concentrate fell off. I became easily irritated. I found myself stepping on other people's toes and generally feeling more and more fear. This spilled into my sleep and produced some very vivid dreams. [The campaign begins. Soon the loyal retainers who first skirmished during the previous campaign season meet again. This time the battle is a more serious drawn out affair. The two forces go through all the disciplines of the war. Formal line form, and the ranks dress. The charge sounds and the two sides clash. The heralds supervise formalities of the engagement and declare it a draw. The minor battle is followed by a display of chivalry in which knights from each side joust for honor. This is followed by a feast between the enemies who all too soon will joust in earnest.) The day before the wedding all the principals gathered at the church for the wedding rehearsal. I came to it straight from work. The minister really didn't give us enough time to get scared. He walked us through the ceremony, telling us were to stand and what to say. This was good because my concentration was so bad then that I was afraid I would mess up. Fortunately, my supervisor at work had told me that all I had to do was to show up on time. This helped a lot and allowed me to do my social duties un interrupted by pesky little details like feels of eminent doom. The rehearsal dinner followed. The was the first real meeting of the two families. There was polite conversation and the food was excellent (provided by the Dali Lama's nephew). Still I was ready to go home. [The night before the battle each knight spends in his own way. Some stay awake the whole night in prayer. Others remain awake to worry. Still others drink their fears away and boast of the greatness they will achieve in the coming battle. It is the few who sleep easy this night. Many have dreams and even Kings are not immune to their spells.) It goes without saying that I slept poorly the night before the wedding. I felt hot. My muscles ached. My nose ran, and I sweated. All this was accompanied with my mind working overtime. I did sleep but the next morning you may not have guessed so from my appearance. From this point until after the wedding ceremony was over my perceptions of what went on are very me centered. Events seemed to become disconnected, and my sense of time became somewhat distorted. [With dawns light the army awakes. Men come together in their units. The tension of the night is still there, but now it can be channelled into action. Mass is sung. Men cook and eat a quick breakfast. Some sing songs to raise their spirits. Others, more literary, compose poems that express their fears and expectations. The knights don their armor and form Into ranks.) I woke up early the day of my wedding. I wrote a couple of poems for Terri and then played my mandolin for a while. These two things did help relieve some. of my tension, but more importantly they gave me something constructive to do. Terri and I went out for breakfast a little later with my brother and a couple of other friends. It was a strained meeting with much dry humor. When we broke up, just before noon, Terri and I went our separate ways to get dressed. I was vaguely aware that other people were at work getting food ready for the reception and a hundred other details but I really didn't think about them. [The knights now formed into ranks stand in ready. But nothing happens. At least not yet. Many of the knights begin to mill around. Their concentration, no longer has focus on the enemy. They fidget and some run off to do daily jobs rather than standing fast to the ranks. King Richard moves like he is in a dream. Knights he knows appear and disappear into the ranks, as he walks by. The enemy army seems to blur into a single unit as though the line drawn between good and evil Is very clear. Anticipation fills the air begging only to be let lose to spring forward.] I drove over to the church an hour and a half before the ceremony. I was nervous that my car would break, or that I would have a wreck. Neither happened. Once at the church I began to meet people who would walk in and then just as suddenly walk out. After walking around for a bit (I could not say how long), I stopped in an upstairs room. A few of my grooms men joined me there. The minister came by and then was gone. He told use to gather right by the chancellory a half hour before the service. I bantered with the people right there with me about various topics. The main point of what we talked about was congratulations and encouragement. I did not even realize that while I was waiting all our friends and relatives were gathering in the church. [When the two armies begin to close with one another King Richard takes his place in the battle line. He concentrates on what is in front of him. He takes his mind off his fear by thinking about how much his feet ache. He raises his shield, hefts his sword and is ready for battle.] Just before walking into the church, the minister had my grooms men and I line up behind him. I thought to myself "I'll concentrate on the fact that my feet hurt" so as to not be afraid. I was afraid I would not say the right thing and end up being embarassed. I mentally reviewed what the ritual step of the ceremony were. Then the organ music started, it was playing Bach. It changed to Pacabell's Cannon and we entered the church. [The battle lines crash into one another. King Richards attention narrows down to what is right in front of his. He remains vaguely aware of what is to his sides by he does not see it. He sees his opponent and fights. During the fight there are moments when no blows are struck. For understandable reason men stand still in a lull, only to jump back into focused action at the slightest provocation. Richard's attention is occasionally caught by extraneous events. A bird flying by, or a tree branch just overhead.] My awareness narrowed to what was right in front of me as soon as I walked into the church. I was oblivious to all the people in the room except for the minister walking before me. I stopped at the prescribed place and waited. I turned on the ministers cue to watch Terri come up the aisle. I was only aware of her. I saw no one in the crowd, just Terri. When she reached me, we faced the minister and the ceremony began. I did not think about my feet hurting to quell my fear. When I walked into the church my fear did not bother me. It was there, but I had other things to do. I was aware of only Terri, the minister and the alter. I remember having an accute sense of hearing when it came to what the minister and Terri said. I also remember feeling accutely aware of what was on the alter and what the various symbols meant. We turned and walked down the aisle after the cerimony was completed. I remember seeing, one person in the crowd as we passed through it. Tom Keller, an old wargaming friend of mine, was the only other person I was aware of by face during my wedding. [Assume that King Richard is the victor. The enemies fear finally breaks through all their preparations to stop it. They run and the massacre and pursuit begin. Slowly Richards senses return. Slowly he can see those around him. Slowly he gets a feel for how the battle is going and that he has won. Now his men congratulate him on his victory.] The wedding party rushed around the building to reenter the church for pictures to be taken. As this happened I became aware of the other people around me again. The pictures were meant to record the event in precise detail. We also had a video camera there to record it as well. Interestingly, none of there recording devices presents the ceremony in anyway like the way I remember it. The black and white pictures are the closest. They show the sharp contrasts I remember seeing. The video is the least like it. Its colors axe not nearly so vivid, nor is selective as my perception was. With the pictures done, we returned to the reception hall where a receiving line formed so that everyone could congratulate us in person. (The battle is followed by a feast for the victors. The events of the day are recounted, and the participant gain some idea about what happened. Memories are still fresh, and the excitement of still being alive makes people willing to tell what they saw without exaggeration. The feast is marked by events of its own. The provisioners now take center stage and display all the arts that camp followers have at their command to put on a show.) The reception that followed my wedding was a time for me to slowly come down from the excitement/terror of being the center of attention. The food was excellent, as was the entertainment. At this point I began to feel the fatigue of the last week begin to catch up with me. Everyone talked while they ate and then again while Terri and I work our ways around the room being host like. [To so knights the slow down following the battle is a let down. No feast can be as intense an experience as the terror of conflict. The deflation of spirit and physical fatigue make many a victor want to withdraw from his fellows to be alone. Sometimes his friends can pull him out of it by rituals of victory (loot and burn, drink and dance) but eventually fatigue wins and the victory sleeps.] Terri felt let down right after leaving the reception. I felt it too soon after. Fortunately we had not been home more than a few minutes when Terri's Tennessee relative came by and the the shiveree (an old English custom meant to drive away evil spirits which consists of walking around the house while beating on pots and pans). Other guest came along later to revive our spirits. [Some time after the battle memories begin to fade. Impressions about what happened blur facts together. stories that were told the night after the battle grow in length, sometimes recounting the events of several battles as though they all happened in the same day. sometimes creating events that never happened. Eventually even the lies sung by minstrels are the more truthful.] A few weeks after the wedding I found my self thinking back to what had happened. It was amazing how many of the details had disappeared. I recall that even on day after my wedding the process of forgetting had begun. Had I not had the Idea to write this article before the ceremony, I would not have taken the notes to cue my memory. Had that been the case then I could not have remembered enough about my emotional state to write this chronology. Battle is a very intense experience. Getting married is also an Intense experience. As such they share certain similar experiences. Fortunately though they are NOT the same. The point of divergence is in the results of the ritualised experience. Both are scary experiences but only in battle do you get killed. The wedding ceremony builds up to a climax with the "mystical union" of two people. In effect both sides win. Not so In battle. Once the press is begun fear only grows until one sides soldiers can no longer take it. For them the climax is turning to run. As war changes, no doubt many of the physical events that make It up change, but I am unclear Just how much the underlying psychological events change. It is certainly worth our thought how this might work out. If you can think of any other common life events that are intense, like marriage, try looking at how the physical events are different but the emotions are the same. Back to Experimental Games Group # 9 Table of Contents Back to Experimental Games Group List of Issues Back to MagWeb Master Magazine List © Copyright 1990 by Chris Engle This article appears in MagWeb (Magazine Web) on the Internet World Wide Web. Other military history articles and gaming articles are available at http://www.magweb.com