1945: Rifles were made of wood and steel, shot a .30 caliber bullet and killed the enemy. Now: Rifles are made of plastic and aluminum, shoot a .22 caliber bullet, and wound the enemy. 1945: The winning side used a US made .45 caliber pistol, the losers used a European 9 mm. Now: We use a European 9 mm pistol. Nobody uses the .45. 1945: Before an attack, they softened up enemy defenses with a preliminary bombardment, and then you fought survivors. Now: They spend 2 months throwing missiles and bombs at the enemy and then forget to send you. 1945: If you smoked, you had an ashtray on your desk. Now: If you smoke, you are sent outside and are treated like a leper. 1945: If you said "damn," people knew you were annoyed and avoided you. Now: If you say "damn" you better be talking about a hydroelectric plant. 1945: NCO's had a typewriter on their desks for doing daily reports. Now: Everyone has an Internet computer, and they wonder why no work is getting done. 1945: We painted pictures of pretty girls on airplanes to remind us of home. Now: We put the real thing in the cockpit. 1945: Your girlfriend was at home, praying you would return alive. Now : She is in the same foxhole, praying your condom worked. 1945: If you got drunk off duty, your buddies would take you back to the barracks to sleep it off. Now : If you get drunk any time they slap you in rehab and ruin your whole career. 1945: You were taught to aim at your enemy and shoot him. Now: You spray 500 bullets into the brush, don't hit anything, and retreat because you are out of ammo. 1945: Canteens were made out of steel. You could heat coffee or hot cocoa in them. Now: Canteens are made of plastic. You can't heat anything in them and they always taste like plastic. 1945: Officers were professional soldiers first. They commanded respect. Now: Officers are politicians first. They beg not to be given a wedgie. 1945: They collected enemy intelligence and analyzed it. Now: They collect our pee and analyze it. 1945: If you don't act right, the C.O. might put you in the stockade till you straighten up. Now: If you don't act right, they start a paper trail that follows you forever. 1945: Medals were awarded to heroes who saved lives at the risk of their own. Now: Medals are awarded to people who show up for work most of the time. 1945: You slept in a barracks, like a soldier. Now: You sleep in a dormitory, like a college kid. 1945: You ate in a Mess Hall. It was free and you could have all the food you wanted. Now : You eat in a dining facility. Every slice of bread or pat of butter costs, and you can only have one. 1945: We defeated powerful countries like Germany and Japan. Now: We can't even beat Iraq or Yugoslavia. 1945: If you wanted to relax, you went to the Rec Center, played pool, smoked and drank beer. Now: You go to the Community Center and can still play pool. 1945: If you wanted a beer and conversation you could go to the NCO or Officers Club. Now: The beer will cost you $1.75, membership is forced, and someone is watching how much you drink. 1945: You could buy quartermaster gas tax free because it was on a military reservation. Now: AAFES charges you the tax but pockets the money themselves because it is on a military reservation. 1945: The BX/PX had bargains for GI's who didn't make much money. Now: You can get better merchandise cheaper at Wal-Mart. 1945: We could recognize the enemy by their Nazi helmets. Now: We are wearing the Nazi-style helmets. 1945: An old Chief would sit in his office with a cigar in his mouth. Now: He would be in less trouble if it was a penis. 1945: We called the enemy things like "krauts" and "japs" because we didn't like them. Now: We call the enemy things like "opposing forces" and "aggressors" so we don't offend them. 1945: Victory was declared when the enemy was dead and all his things were broken. Now: Victory is declared when the enemy says he is sorry. 1945: If you killed an enemy soldier, you could bring home his rifle as a trophy. Now: If you bring home anything at all as a trophy you get a court martial. 1945: A commander would put his butt on the line to protect his people. Now: A commander will put his people on the line to protect his butt. 1945: After the war, you could buy your own rifle off the government, cheap. Now: You can't be trusted with your own rifle, and you'll be jailed if you ever get one. 1945: Wars were planned and run by generals with lots of important victories. Now: Wars are planned and run by politicians with lots of important panty raids. 1945: We knew we were fighting for freedom. The country was committed to winning. Now : We don't know what we are fighting for. The government is committed to socialism. 1945: All you could think of was getting out and becoming a civilian again. Now: All you can think of is getting out and becoming a civilian again. Back to Dispatch Dec. 99 Table of Contents Back to Dispatch List of Issues Back to MagWeb Master Magazine List © Copyright 1999 by HMGS Mid-South This article appears in MagWeb (Magazine Web) on the Internet World Wide Web. Other military history articles and gaming articles are available at http://www.magweb.com