from the Armed Forces Journal International: June 1999 According to Special Operations Forces mythology, the following would be the reactions of different types of soldiers upon encountering a snake in a tactical area of operation: Paratrooper: Kills the snake. Armor: Runs over the snake, giggles, and looks for more snakes. Infantry: "Look, a putty cat. Come here, kitty. Ouch! Hey!, that's not a kitty cat." Infantry (Alternate): "Ugh! Me see snake. Me like snake. Ouch! Me no like snake!" Field Artillery: Kills snake, but in the process, kills several hundred civilians with a massive time-on-target with three artillery brigades in support. Mission is considered a success, and all participants are awarded Silver Stars (including cooks, mechanics, clerks, etc.) Army Aviation: Has GPS grid to snake. Can't find snake. Back to base for crew rest and to the club for some sort of drink called "The Snake". Marine Force Recon: Follows the snake and gets lost. USAF Combat Controller: Guides the snake elsewhere. USAF Pararescue: Wounds the snake in the first encounter, then feverishly works to save the snake's life. Ranger: Plays with the snake, then eats it. Ranger (alternate): Assaults the snake's home and secures it for use by friendly snakes. Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition and several grenades and calls for naval gunfire in a failed attempt to kill the snake. The snake bites SEAL, then retreats to safety. Special Forces: Makes contact with the snake, builds rapport, wins its heart and mind, then trains it to kill other snakes. Back to Dispatch Oct. 99 Table of Contents Back to Dispatch List of Issues Back to MagWeb Master Magazine List © Copyright 1999 by HMGS Mid-South This article appears in MagWeb (Magazine Web) on the Internet World Wide Web. Other military history articles and gaming articles are available at http://www.magweb.com