A bus station is where a bus slops. A
train station is where a train stops. On my
desk, I have a work station.
if Fed Ex and UPS were to merge,
would they call it Fed UP?
I believe five out of four people have
trouble with fractions.
if quitters never win, and winners
never quit. what fool came up with, "Quit
while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee
breaks?
What hair color do they put on the
driver's licenses of bald men?
I was thinking that women should put
pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
I was thinking about how people seem
to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get
older, then it dawned on me . . . they were
cramming for their finals.
I thought about how mothers feed their
babies with little tiny spoons and forks so I
wonder what Chinese mothers use, Perhaps
toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals
up in the Post Office? What are we supposed
to do, write to these men? Why don't they just
put their pictures on the postage stamps so
the mailmen could look for them while they
delivered the mail?
Never agree to plastic surgery it the
doctor's office is full of portraits by Picasso.
VENI, VEDI, VISA: I came, I saw, I did a
little shopping.
If it's true that we are here to help
others, then what exactly are the OTHERS
here for?
STRESSED spelled backwards is
DESSERTS.
You never really learn to swear until
you learn to drive.
Clones are people
two.
It a man says something in the woods
and there are no women there, is he still
wrong?
Go ahead and take risks .... just be
sure that everything will turn out OK.
No one ever says "It's only a game,"
when their team is winning.
If you can't be kind, at least have the
decency to be vague.
Ever wonder what the speed of
lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
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© Copyright 1999 by HMGS Mid-South
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