You might be a tanker if: 1. You think a hammer is a precision instrument. 2. Your idea of a ruck march is carrying your bags from the motor pool parking lot to the tank line. 3. If you go to a fireworks show and feel disappointed that the noise wasn't loud enough. 4. If you think a ranger is nothing more than a pick-up truck. 5. If you think the concept of dismount is the eighth deadly sin. 6. If you think diesel and cordite are two of the four basic food groups. 7. If you see a monster truck stuck in the mud and say, "That's nothin', I once had my tank buried so bad . . ." 8. If you've lost headgear due to a large caliber bullet. 9. If going to the field means bringing the grill and all the fixin's for a barbeque. 10. If you believed that the maker of smoke grenade launchers actually planned it so a six pack of 12oz sodas would fit perfectly in each launcher. 11. If you think that light infantry are only curious looking hot spots for machine gun practice at 800m 12. If you use Chem-Lites to decorate your christmas tree. 13. If you can make the transition from driving to sleeping with just the flip of a wrist. 14. If you have ever been startled out of sleep and shouted, "Identified!" 15. If the EPA knows you by your first name. 16. If you think the best way to handle a fuel spill is to kick dust over it and move out before anyone notices. 17. If you think there is no such thing as "Too much Ammo" 18. If you think a good OPORD is "Move north and kill everything." Back to Dispatch Apr. 99 Table of Contents Back to Dispatch List of Issues Back to MagWeb Master Magazine List © Copyright 1999 by HMGS Mid-South This article appears in MagWeb (Magazine Web) on the Internet World Wide Web. Other military history articles and gaming articles are available at http://www.magweb.com