I read with amusement the "What a Real Officer is". I firmly believe that this is the way a Real Officer sees himself. Now, the way the rest of the military sees Officers: 1. Can talk, and talk and talk and never say anything of importance. Manual on cussing not issued when they were assembled. 2. Got their commissions the old-fashioned way, can you say B... JOB! 3. Never were NCO's or they wouldn't be officers. 4. Will fight *with bayonets as the higher ups know better then to give them ammo for a real weapon. E-tool? Wouldn't know how to fight with one of those as they wouldn't know the proper use for it either. 5. Wear Corcoran jump boots in garrison to look impressive. Cowers at the thought of a loudmouthed MP. 6. Any holes in the back of head comes from being fragged. 7. Can see in the dark all right, a dark room of any Thailand brothel. 8. Would rather be in a nice cushy off ice with a couch then lead men or be responsible for them. 9. That isn't a wet dream he had about leading an parachute assault on Baghdad. 10. Doesn't trust Russians but will drink their vodka and take their money. 11. Still hates the French - Well who doesn't. 12. Vacation, Pilgrimage? Sounds like ARABS to me. 13. Iron Mike? DITKA? 14. Politically correct at all times 15. Politically correct at all times is their motto. 16. Politically correct, like sodomy, just another one of their practices. 17. Loves deploying to combat, issue an order, stay behind, get men killed, receive medal. 18. Knows that "Cav" is not a part of your leg. 19. Can remember the movie "Dirty Dozen". 20. Can't remember running PT, they are officers. 21. Have enough "fruit salad" on their uniforms because the PX just got a shipment in. 22. If they have enough time in service to retire as captains they aren't .... see 16. 23. Think its cool to teach their kids how to do "SPORTS", kids don't think its cool at all. 24. Embrace women in the military, usually women officers embracing other women, repeatedly. 25. Would actually like to date GI Jane, again if she is a woman officer. 26. Knows what a short-arm inspection is but didn't know the army had enough midgets to perform one. GOD I can't go on ... laughing too hard, must stop before I cause serious internal damage. Paul: I'm really sorry, but I fail to see the humor in most of these...MB Back to Dispatch April 2002 Table of Contents Back to Dispatch List of Issues Back to MagWeb Master Magazine List © Copyright 2002 by HMGS Mid-South This article appears in MagWeb (Magazine Web) on the Internet World Wide Web. Other military history articles and gaming articles are available at http://www.magweb.com