1. This soldier is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. 2. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching. 3. A room-temperature IQ. 4. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on. 5. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus. 6. A prime candidate for natural deselection. 7. Bright as Alaska in December. 8. One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests. 9. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it. 10. Fell out of the family tree. 11. Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it. 12. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate. 13. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week. 14. If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change. 15. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean. 16. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled. 17. Takes him and hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes. 18. Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby. 19. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity. Back to Dispatch September 2001 Table of Contents Back to Dispatch List of Issues Back to MagWeb Master Magazine List © Copyright 2001 by HMGS Mid-South This article appears in MagWeb (Magazine Web) on the Internet World Wide Web. Other military history articles and gaming articles are available at http://www.magweb.com