1. I'm not aging, I just need re-potting. 2. I don't repeat gossip, so listen carefully. 3. Lord, if I can't be skinny, let all my friends be fat. 4. My idea of cleaning the house is sweeping the floor with a glance. 5. I cleaned my house yesterday, sure wish you could have seen it. 6. This isn't clutter, these are my antiques! 7. If you don't like my attitude, call 1-800Who Cares. 8. If it's true we are what we eat, I am either fast, cheap, or easy. 9. Discover Wildlife! Have Kids! 10. "Genuine Antique Person," Been there, done that, can't remember! 11. Our policy is to always blame the computer. 12. Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends. 13. Take my advice, I'm not using it! 14. Okay! I love you! Now can we eat? 15. You know you're getting old when you stop to think and forget to start again. 16. Mom, I'll always love you, but I'll never forgive you for cleaning my face with spit on a hanky. 17. I love to give homemade gifts ... umm which one of the kids would you like? 18. I have a million dollar figure -- but it's all loose change! 19. By the time you find greener pastures you can't climb the fence! 20. This house is protected by killer dust bunnies. 21. I quit jogging for health reasons. My thighs rubbed together so much it caught my underwear on fire! Back to Dispatch August 2000 Table of Contents Back to Dispatch List of Issues Back to MagWeb Master Magazine List © Copyright 2000 by HMGS Mid-South This article appears in MagWeb (Magazine Web) on the Internet World Wide Web. Other military history articles and gaming articles are available at http://www.magweb.com