Jake said “Simulation and realism are the two most important aspects of gaming,” Dan nodded his head in agreement as he arranged his books, charts, and other paraphernalia on the edge of the table. “And in order to have the most accurate simulation one must have the most accurate set of rules. Fortunately, today we will use Zed Paducah’s Vive La Napoleonic Trivia, which will provide us with that accuracy,” Dan said as he tapped the cover of one of the four massive three-ring binders arrayed in front of him. Each binder, with a different colored cover, held at least three hundred pages of text, charts, diagrams, and tables. They were the culmination of a lifetime of gaming and research by Jake, Zed, and Dan. Zed had introduced Jake to Napoleonics many years ago in California, and had since become his friend and mentor. All three had extensive academic preparation in military history and life experiences as members of the armed forces to draw upon in compiling this rule set. Dan had an associate degree in Nuclear BB Stacking from Neotsu Community University and Car Wash. Commissioned as a second lieutenant of public affairs in the Army National Guard Reserve Militia, he had served many two-week tours of duty at Camp Aelir, on the Oregon coast, as the Laundry and Morale Officer of the 327th Underground Mess Kit Repair Battalion (Provisional). Jake’s extensive political activism and foreign language expertise helped him to receive an honorary degree from Karl Marx (“Become a Commie by Correspondence”) University located in a strip mall in Eight-Mile, Arizona. Always faithful to his beliefs, he refused to serve in America’s war of aggression against the peoples of Vietnam, and in 1980, he burned his draft card and chained himself to a garbage can behind the state capitol building. His protest ended quietly after seventeen minutes when a passing university student told him that the draft had ended in 1973 and the war had been over for five years. Zed was a true war hero. A disabled Vietnam veteran (While serving with the 7th Fleet in the South China Sea, he had received a severe back injury when he slipped on a bar of soap in the shower.), Zed lived in a camper on the back of a pickup truck in the desert outside of Barstow, California. A self-educated, high school dropout, he had amassed a vast knowledge of things military from subscriptions to Wargamers Daily, National Psuedographic, and Fictional Soldier magazines. To add to his profound knowledge of the Napoleonic period he had made detailed battlefield tours of both Waterloo, Iowa, and Waterloo, Oregon. His favorite expression was “I have a modifier for that. “French movement phase,” Jake said. “How far can my légère battalion move?” asked Big Jim, slightly peeved that there wasn’t a complete set of rules for him to memorize before the first move. “Which regiment?” Dan asked. “46th,” he answered. “Which battalion?” Dan again. “Ah . . . 3rd, I think,” said Jim looking at the base of the 15mm figures for some kind of identifying mark. “The battalion is marked on the flag,” Jake said impatiently. “All French battalions have their numbers in the corners of the colors. Also, you can always tell which is the first battalion because it is the only one carrying the eagle.” “That’s reminds me of a story that I once read,” Dan said, and as he started his story Carl went outside to have a cigarette, Issac and Stan walked around the corner to get some lunch, and Mike left to put in a half-shift at Weenie World. “So, how far can the 3rd Battalion, 46th Légère move?” Big Jim asked again. “Are they on the road or off the road?” Jake asked. “On the road.” “What formation—road column, march column, attack column, close column, double or single company column, or what?” “French modified attack column.” “I’m sure Zed has a modifier for that,” said Jake diving into the volume on movement. “Could the French use that formation during that year?” Dan asked, pausing in his story telling. “What year is it?” asked Jim. “1813 . . . .March,” Dan replied as he and Jake checked their books. “Only légère regiments numbered 5 through 23 could use that formation during that time period,” Jake said looking up from the rules. “Had that regiment received its issue of new shoes yet?” asked Dan looking at the supply modifier charts. “No, not until the middle of April, so they get a -1 to the die roll for poor supply.” “How far can I move the 46th?” asked Jim for the third time. “What’s the weather?” asked Dan turning to Jake who had the weather modifier charts. “What day is it and what time of day?” asked Jake. “March 18th. 6 a.m.” By this time the other players who had left when Dan started his story had returned and were standing around the table. “Rain. Heavy rain,” Jake said, very satisfied with himself and Zed’s rules. “So, the 3rd Battalion, 47th Légère cannot move. Poor supply, illegal formation, and heavy rains make the roads impassable. How’s that for realism?” “You want realism? I’ll give you *#@** realism,” Carl said as he jumped up on the game table, held his cigarette lighter up over his head, and activated the ceiling sprinkler system. Back to Table of Contents -- Courier # 91 To Courier List of Issues To MagWeb Master Magazine List © Copyright 2004 by The Courier Publishing Company. This article appears in MagWeb.com (Magazine Web) on the Internet World Wide Web. Other articles from military history and related magazines are available at http://www.magweb.com